2007-08-27 18:57:18 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
dating..its OK if u don't much about his family but if u r getting serious about him then i think u should.
2007-08-27 19:00:19 · answer #1 · answered by Chocogal 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult question to answer....In some respects and situations, yes. In some respects and situation, no....I'll try to explain what I mean!
Some people come from really bad families, and in those cases, I probably wouldn't judge anything based on their family background, but rather how the individual person has turned out in their own life despite the bad circumstances. Overcoming poor upbringing, abuse, and many other family issues requires strength of character, and is definitely worthy of much respect.
Now for the guy from your typical family, to an extent it's a good idea to see who he is, and later where he came from. The most important thing I pay attention to is how HE treats his family. For instance, if you see that his family is very loving and affectionate towards each other, and he seems to reciprocate the feeling, I take this as a good sign! Beware the man whose family seems to love him, but he is always negative about them, is rude to them, is unfeeling towards them, etc....Go with your gut instinct, no matter what he tells you. If you sense they are genuinely good people, and he tries to tell you they are not really like that and that is why he isn't good to them, well....Trust your instincts. It will pay off. A good man with a good family loves his family. Always keep in mind, if you are considering a serious relationship, you need to be aware of his ideas about how a family should be, and the way he is with his own family will tell you a lot about your future with him. Good luck!
2007-08-28 02:04:34 · answer #2 · answered by Bruja 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DUUUHHH!
Having had so many friends who have met "Prince Charming" only to find out that he's been married multiple times and was abusive each time.
Another found her "Prince" was an ex-convict who was trying to nail her 10 year old daughter while she was at work.
Another found out, after marrying a fellow who was a deacon at a church, that she was being used as "cover" for his activities of finding gay lovers over the internet and running around all over town.
Another turned out to be a promiscuous cross-dressing bi-sexual.
Another friend found out that her boyfriend was just staying with her to catch up on his child support.
In this day and time, you REALLY need to take your time, get to know them as friends, then if everything checks out, you can consider moving into a "dating" scenario.
Getting to know what kind of family background he is from is truly important. If he grew up with abuse, he will probably have a lot of baggage and more than likely perpetuate abuse. If he grew up in poverty, he will either be motivated to achieve or will perpetuate that. If he is a mama's boy, you know you will always come in a distant second in his affections. If he grew up rich, he may be spoiled and not see a point in achieving much of anything. Is his mother a shrew? What are his siblings like?
Actually, I'd develop a good business relationship with a private investigator... as in bulk discount rates for background checks. Not just criminal/arrest records, but also how many times he's been married, how many kids is he supposed to be paying child support on, what his credit rating is like, and maybe employment history.
At least take time out to check out the various on-line sex offender databases.
2007-08-28 02:13:56 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes!As much as possible check the family background of the guy.In this case,you can decide well if this guy is really meant for you or not.It is also a great help for you if you want to get serious in your relationship.Whether you can bear his shortcomings or not.Most of all,you have the idea on how to defend him if your parents start asking about him.
2007-08-28 02:08:14 · answer #4 · answered by mamilove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only if his family background is a major part of who he is. If he has a relatively normal family then i don't think its necessary to share details about your relatives or childhood or whatever. However if he has divorced parents, a deceased parent or sibling (or other important family member), or is adopted or previously married then he should probably mention that. My boyfriend is adopted and it is such a huge part of his life that i can't imagine not knowing about it.
2007-08-28 02:01:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A FAmily background shows a girl where the guy comes from.
2007-08-28 01:59:52 · answer #6 · answered by Sunny Flowers 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely Yes.
Just think about it for a minute.
Would you want a sister or your daughter to get mixed up with the wrong family.
Remember, families are forever.
If he isn't willing to confide, then hire a private detective.
You need to know.
2007-08-28 02:07:35 · answer #7 · answered by DeeJay 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It gives you a sense of what his idea of family life will probably be. Plus it is always good to get to know what the inlaws will be like. Some of them will try to break a marriage up if they don't like who their child marries.
2007-08-28 02:01:59 · answer #8 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it think it is necessary. So that she knows the guy well enough.
2007-08-28 02:03:34 · answer #9 · answered by Nicky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it would be nice. if your just going to use her then i wouldnt see why. but if you really like her then you should let it happen. my bf never invited me over and its awkward when i occasionally go over, and his family has met me before but its still a little weird. but if you like her it would be for the best
2007-08-28 02:02:44 · answer #10 · answered by Monica 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋