i was at my bf's house today and while he was checking his e-mail i saw he's been on porn sites because he had lots of e-mails from adultfriendfinder.com...(some porn site) and he was rushing through them to erase them before i saw them.. he probably doesn't know i did though.. how bad is that.. it really seems like he's a member of the website....
I know lots of peolpe look at porn and i'm not saying i'm a puritan but i never thought that i would encounter something like that.. i was shocked.. but i didn't say a word.. should i confront him or be worried??
2007-08-27 17:56:36 · 50 answers · asked by Bee 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
do you actually meet those people of just see them throught the computer??
2007-08-27 18:00:56 · update #1
thank you guys for your answers.. we've been dating for 5 years, 3 of those living together. I confronted him today and looking me in the eye he said is not the first time he's gotten e-mails from that site. but swore on his grandpa's tomb (he really loved him) that he is not part of that site.. I also created a fake person and e-mail and signed up for that website and never found anything that could have been related to him..
i believed him because throughout this 5 years of relationship i've been able to know when lies.. thank you again.. and if you ever have a situation like this.. don't be afraid of talking to the person ..
2007-08-28 17:46:49 · update #2
the last part of that site name "friendfinder" sounds like a dating/swinger kind of site. How long have you been together? How serious is the relationship? If it is serious then he should NOT be looking at that kind of stuff or participating in those sites.
2007-08-27 18:01:13 · answer #1 · answered by Tom T 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Just because he got emails from them doesn't mean that he's looking for sex. Sometimes you can get on their mailing list other ways.
You might want to ask him about it anyway, though. After all, it was on the screen when you were both there together. Maybe you would both feel better if it was out in the open and you could talk about it. If he denies that it was ever there, then that's a sign about his honesty.
You don't say how old you are or if you're sexually active together, but among young men especially, looking at porn is pretty normal. It;s a good way for them to satisfy their curiosity safely.
Good luck.
2007-08-27 18:06:26 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. Switch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a "puritan"...this is something I would not take lightly. Porn is one thing...a dirty magazine or two, a movie, even a website...but if has enrolled into adult friend finders and he is actively recieving emails...he is probably not just "looking"...he can do that on unknown sites...without putting contact information in. Do not be fooled...this is a BIG RED FLAG. What this comes down to is A)Are you the type of person that would also participate in this behavior or B) Absolutely no. Make the choice now...not later!
2007-08-27 18:05:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adultfriendfinder is not just a porn site, is a site where people can look for other people, is mostly swingers but there are all kinds of people looking for different things. All guys look at porn and in a way it's normal " Boys will be boys " but when it comes to a site like that is different because he might be looking for something. In my opinion you should ask him about it and tell him that he can be honest with you. He might be doing it just for curiosity. Good luck.
2007-08-27 18:06:14 · answer #4 · answered by lilian99924 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I won't skip you. Yes......confront him and don't let him worm his way out of this one. Let him know that you feel betrayed and have lost some of your trust in him. Why does he feel like he has to hide it from you anyway? If he hides that.then I would ask myself what else would he hide from me in the future.
I assume that you have an intimate relationship with him. If I am right..then what is he missing in his sex life? I am not going to defend his actions because they are wrong. If something is missing in your love life....you both need to sit down at a good time and quiet time and discuss your love life. Maybe he wants something you are not willing to do. Find out and if this is the case,.then talk about it and compromise but don't do anything you don't want to do. You are worried and the only way to get relief is to communicate your feelings and see how he reacts. Then you should know what to do or how to handle the problem.
In my book, looking at porn is a form of cheating unless both of you are open and watching it together.
2007-08-27 18:10:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its possible that he didnt not actually sign up for that website, Ive gotten a lot of pop-ups on my computer from this site before and Im not subscribed to it. But even if he is, its normal for boys to do this, just be grateful he's looking at porn and not begging you for sex ahaha its perfectly normal, dont worry about it
2007-08-27 18:04:12 · answer #6 · answered by marm212 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not an actual porn website! you might wanna double check on that. personally, maybe a porn magazine is ok, but being a member of a porn website is extremely gross! i don't like the fact that my man is interested in looking other women's what not! you might wanna confront him and just be honest. t good luck!
2007-08-27 18:09:26 · answer #7 · answered by girlygirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i met my husband of five years in yahoo chat room one and my ex-fience also in yahoo chat room one so yeah people do meet offline that start talking online it happens thousands or millions of times a day.. secondly it depends on how long you have been with him - because ALL men endulge in porn every so often as long as the porn doesnt bother you look at it with him im sure he will be very excited about that but make sure you draw the lines first .... meaning he will only look at porn WITH you and second NO THREESOMES OR ANY OTHER SEXUAL ACTS OF THAT NATURE. unless u want to ........
if you do have a problem with the porn tell him and give him an ultimatume men hate them but they are like kids and need them sometimes
i went threw this with my husband first i was like '' HELL NO''
then when he actualy started listening and DIDNT LOOK at porn every year on his b-day i do it with him and that is the only time.... so you have many options its all about how YOU FEEL.
2007-08-27 18:12:36 · answer #8 · answered by D M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should be worried and confront him, having a girlfriend already and STILL joining ang checking out a dating service or an much more an adult site means he has some dissatisfaction, maybe its not you but better to talk with him about it......... on my part that is disloyalty and unfaithfulness to you. sometimes this dating things things he has joined may turn out serious and before you know it you dont have a boyfriend anymore. Better ask him outright. God bless and help you.
2007-08-27 18:07:05 · answer #9 · answered by mylesr77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am married and I found porn on his computer. I was worried but then I realized, he is a guy, they all like porn. If it's only porn you should not be worry. If that site is a dating one, then confront him!
2007-08-27 18:02:54 · answer #10 · answered by dianndeltol 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't be getting email from a porn site. Usually you just view them online. Looking at the site it's more of a dating service (porn dating service for 3somes, swingers etc.) type thing. Men looking for women/women looking for blah blah.
I would be concerned about that. It's not just "looking" if he signed up for the service.
Time for a talk. Be calm and start with "I couldn't help but notice blah blah blah".
2007-08-27 18:02:10 · answer #11 · answered by Crunchy Sweet 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋