Read my last first post. Do u think my boyfriend and his daugter are using me?

Question

The reason i ask is because one yahoo member stated that, and this is kind of how i was feeling, but i hate to believe it because i have invested time and taken so much crap from this relationship from his daughter becasue he is truly kind to me. Do u think he is just using me as a substitue until his daughter gets older. I just wonder what kind of relationship him and his daughter really have without sound presumptuious

Answer 1

IMO, the other poster is wrong. I don't think that this guy's using you. Seriously, out of this predicament, what does he have to gain other than a headache?

I've known kids as young as 3 who know how to manipulate grown-ups as if they're puppets. Your guy's just in a tough position right now because he's crazy for you, but at the same time he loves his daughter and wants her to be happy also. The thing is as long as he continues to see you separately (when she's not around) the worse things will get. The only way to get past it is by spending time together (all 3 of you).

2 things will happen if you dump him now. A) you lose him, and B) In the little girl's mind she wins. And seeing as though it's been 8 months, I don't see your boyfriend wising up to her game anytime soon.

Answer 2

I dont know if they are using you, but he needs to care for his own daughter and you should not be the one babysitting or entertaining her. That is his job, and if he cannot take care of his own child, he needs to hire a sitter.
It sounds to me like you are being used as a scape goat. She is probably manipulating and does not even realize she is doing it. It leads me to wonder where her mother is.
I think if he wants to do things with the 2 of you, and be her disciplinarian, its fine, but she should not be left with you ever for any reason alone. This can lead to bad problems.
I have a 30 yr old former step daughter who was 12 when I married her dad and we have not spoken in 15 yrs. She became a manipulative pill. Her dad and I are divorced.