2007-08-27 17:28:49 · 29 answers · asked by 4-GiVeN 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
sweetie you can not help anyone who doesnt want to help themself. when they are tired of being sick and tired they will seek help, but til than leave it alone. let it go. there is nothing you can do. GodBless.
2007-08-27 17:33:42 · answer #1 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It could be that the person is not ready to change yet. Change could heighten someone's insecurity.
But, since you seem to be concerned, I suggest:
a) to PRAY for guidance and insight
b) to just keep the relationship and communication going - with the least pressure on the other person. The less the pressure, the more likely he/she would be more open to sharing with you what the 'problem' is from his/her perspective. That would give you a better insight into how to help (when he/she is ready for it). Until then - just give your time & attention.
Just be careful about being an 'enabler'. Do a 'review' of the situation after a certain time - so you do not allow yourself to be sucked into what could be a hopeless situation.
May the Lord God guide you and help the other person . . .
2007-08-28 00:45:53 · answer #2 · answered by erc_nv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't because they don't see it as being helped. To be helped, the person has to recognize that the behaviour is harmful, and to want to make a change.
This requires a shift in values and needs and until that happens, you are in for a lot of grief if you try to force anything. Sometimes, it is best to do nothing and go your own way, and let the person sink or swim without taking you down too. Best wishes
2007-08-28 00:41:14 · answer #3 · answered by tylernmi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who lives in a shelter and i give him some of my jeans to wear..he is 67 and I am 62 but I think he looks better in jeans..makes him look younger then the baggy dress pants he usually wears ..next i am giving him some of my shirts as my size is tripple or double x and he only wears a one X...but he is my friend and i enjoy talking to him but I will not give him money for those cigars he smokes or beer he drinks...if he drinks he knows he can be kicked out of the shelter and he has been in this shelter the longest time..and its right next to the library and i see him about six times a week and he is very smart and I like talking to him..you see..just be friends and try to make a positive statement without being a control freak...or pushy type..thats my way of making a friend improve his lot in life..subtle movements...
2007-08-28 00:36:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't, so save yourself the effort and frustration. The best thing to do for someone like that is allow them to be responsible for their own problems. When push comes to shove they will either become self reliant or a welfare recipient for life. Either way, you CAN NOT do it for them.
It's taken me 45 years to learn that some people will always have a difficult time in life, if things are going too well for them they find a way to mess it up. They need chaos and sabotage themselves all the time. If you allow them to make you feel responsible for them your life will be as bad as theirs is.
It's good to help a friend in a time of difficulty, but it's bad to try to rescue someone who won't try to do it on their own.
2007-08-28 00:41:57 · answer #5 · answered by Capablady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. Meeting his/her needs enables that person to continue down a destructive road. It is hard to watch someone you care about fail, but it is his/her life and that person may drag you down if you are too close to keep perspective.
I am in a situation like this; it hurts to watch the person I love sinking, but my interferrence causes more rebellion that is dangerous to those this person is responsible for, so I must stand back and watch and be ready to help when asked.
Self destructive behaviors are a cry for help, but usually that person has to sink low enough to feel the reprecussions of his or her actions. Others constantly saving them is usually met with disrespect and abuse of those who care.
Take care of yourself and when your loved one is ready to be responsible for his or herself, lend a helping hand that will not drag you under with that person. Be a good listener also, often this is worth more than anything you could buy or do for that person- help him/her help themself.
2007-08-28 00:42:28 · answer #6 · answered by Traveler 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean? If they are not helping themselves maybe they suffer from depression or other issues that appears like they are unwilling to help themselves.
You can help by lending them a ear and remaining quiet at times.
You can even help them through prayer.
You can just let them know that you are there to help them over this hill in life when they are ready to tackle it.
2007-08-28 00:35:33 · answer #7 · answered by Swampmoth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean by "help"? Sometimes people really mean "inflicting their own values on standards on another person".
Why do you want to help? Do you want to meet the needs of the other person to be helped, or do you want to meet your own need to be a helper?
If you look into your heart and answer my two questions honestly, you will then know the answer to your own question.
2007-08-28 00:35:01 · answer #8 · answered by Pagan Dan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your family and it's a life or death situation, have them commited. If your not family, then go to the family of the person and explain your deep concern and have them get them help
2007-08-28 00:34:30 · answer #9 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot, and if you push them things will only get worse, that's No-no #1 in the Common Sense W/ Family Book ya know, POINTS!
2007-08-28 00:32:58 · answer #10 · answered by * 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Matthew 7:6 Do not cast your perils before swine lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
2007-08-28 00:36:30 · answer #11 · answered by Village Player 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋