Problems with a 1 year old sleeping in a crib?

Question

We have been having problems getting my daughter to sleep in her crib. We have been doing the tough love, where we put her in the crib and let her be. She cries herself to sleep, then a few hours later she wakes up crying. Since, we share a room with our daughter, we eventually give up and bring her in our bed because we need to sleep and it's just easier. I know that I should just deal with it but I like my sleep. Since, she likes our bed so much, we're not sure if she doesn't like the confinement of the crib or maybe it's her bedding or maybe it's seperation anxiety.

Any thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated, although if it's not constructive please don't leave a message.

Answer 1

My oldest didn't sleep the night until I put him in a toddler bed at 13 months old. And wala...he slept perfectly through the night. With him it was the confinement....he hated it. So I had all my kids in a bed between 12 -14 months old and they all slept great once I did that. but every situation is different. I think you need to put her in her own room. She is too old to still be in your room.

Answer 2

It usually takes a week to break the cycle, so I don't know how that will work with your neighbors. But you can't be evicted because your baby cries!!! They could get in major trouble! (just make sure not to do anything else that they can complain about for a while) It is normal for kids to wake up several times a night, but he has decided/forgotten how to self sooth and put himself back to sleep. You might want to practice a little while he is napping in the day, maybe not getting him right away if he wakes up, etc, that way the crying is in the day and maybe after a couple times he will get it at night too? Here are some other ideas that you might or might not have tried... -Do not talk or turn on bright lights when you do go in the room, try just to rub his back or something if you can instead of picking him up. The littlest amount of interaction is best. -Leave a little bit of yourself behind in your maybe a t-shirt you have slept in, or carry a wash cloth or small stuffed toy around in your pocket for the day to let your baby feel comforted by your scent and fall back to sleep on his own. -If you can tell that your baby's discomfort stems from teething, give him acetaminophen (with your pediatrician's permission) before bed to prevent him from waking up repeatedly during the night. Also could he still be stuffed up in the nose? It could be causing him to wake up more and he gets irratated by the breathing. Hummidifier? Also the dull white noise sound might work good too, or a small fan on in the room (not pointed at baby) Good luck! I hope it works out for you!

Answer 3

I don't have a solution but want to share something..
My son & dgt baby 16 months does exactly the same and has never yet slept in his crib. His crib is directly against the side of their bed but still the baby cries to be with them. They now all sleep cuz when baby goes to bed, one of them lies down too untill baby is asleep (of course in their bed!) Then later they go to bed. One big happy family ! sleep all night!

Answer 4

I can so relate to this. My daughter who is now 11 slept with us until she was 3 but only b/c I got pregnant and there wasn't enough room for all of us plus my belly. Anyways, in the begining she had her own room but I felt so much better if she was next to me. In your case, she's 1...so it's time for a Toddler bed or even a smaller twin bed and an adjustment to her own room. She should be allowed to help decorate so she can add the things that make her feel warm and cozy. At night is when she really needs to feel at ease and secure in her own room. Maybe have an adjustment period to where she takes naps in there during the day and move to night time from there. Or just put her in her own bed once she falls asleep and then reward her for making it threw the night. It is going to be some hard work and sleepless nights but she'll adjust. Just think....this is going to seem like a walk in the park compared to when it's time to potty-train.

Answer 5

I just read a book by the Piepers, two long term psychologists. They say that the popular and well meaning advice to allow a child to cry is extremely psychologically damaging because it teaches your child that you want her to be unhappy. Her brain is too young for any other interpretation of you allowing her to cry. The worst part is that as an adult, she will sabotage her own happiness and achievement because she will need to recreate that false happiness, the unhappiness she came to believe you wanted her to feel.

We are primates. No other primate separates the mother from the child during infancy/toddlerhood. It's unnatural and damaging.

You will all be happier if you just let her sleep with you as nature intended.

We did this with both our sons, and believe me, at 10 and 14, they've been sleeping in their own beds and own rooms for a very long time now. And they were never left to cry it out because, way before I read the book by the Piepers, I knew in my gut that leaving a child to cry was just plain wrong, just was, in fact, child abuse.

Answer 6

I have 3 little girls and they each learned to sleep through the night in their own time...but even a 1 year old is smart enough to know that if she cries, she gets her way. So rather than teaching her that you'll give in if she cries long enough, just decide what you are going to do and stick to it. This may require you sleeping on an air mattress in the living room for a few days...or just letting her sleep in your bed if that's what you want. Either way the important thing is being consistent, (which is know is REALLY hard when you're tired!) but it will eventually pay off.

Answer 7

This is the toughest thing to deal with. I've been through the exact same situation. Honestely if you stick through a few very hard nights, your daughter will eventually just lay down and go to sleep. She knows if she cries enough you'll come get her. I've been back and forth on this issue with my daughter, and when she turned 2 a couple months ago I just committed myself to it and after only 3 nights the crying stopped. It's great now, she goes right to sleep and stays asleep in her crib.

Answer 8

Forget the "Tough Love" bit

Tough Love is not paying to get your teenager out of his first self induced jam. Not getting your adult child out of jail for their second DUI, kicking your addict out unless they agree to some kind of help.

A crying child is upset, at 1 they can't articulate what the problem is and anyone that thinks lack of contact with the child is an answer is insane or selfish.

Don't let anyone make you feel guilty about letting her sleep with you. If you and your husband are ok with it, it truly isn't anyone elses business.

If you have the room, you may want to move her out of your bedroom. It's possible that you or your husband may be tossing and turning or snoring and waking her up.

A child shouldn't have to cry itself to sleep. Try rocking her, or get a twin bed with child guards so she can't fall out and lay down with her until she falls asleep.

If you don't pay attention to her emotional developement now and keep your bond strong, don't be surprised when she doesn't share what's going on in her life with you as she gets older.

Sorry about the irritation coming out of me, but reading the majority of the previous answers has made me a bit angry.

Children are a gift. And a big responsibility. Stop feeling bad about doing what you know is right. Sleeping with you and your husband may not be the best answer but at her age it's a much better one than letting her feel alone and unloved crying in a bed by herself.

Answer 9

OK the letting her cry it out can be making her to wake up later crying, its like a reaction to falling asleep in such a bad manner ( at least thats exactly what happened when i tried it) you could try this-
-make sure shes really sleepy at night, by waking her up from her nap earlier,and waking her a little earlier in the morning
-keep everything calm and not too stimulating for like 2 hours prior to bedtime,so she can wind down
-OK nobody likes this one b/c it involves more energy than ppl want to exert, but I think we can do anything for our babies, out of love-pick the baby up, and walk walk walk for what may be even 20+ mins, in the semi dark room, chances are your baby will fall asleep, THEN put her in the crib-
-if she wakes up crying, put a bottle of juice (but mostly water if you like) in her mouth, or a pacifier, unless your against it-
-I dont know about you girl but I HAD to get my baby out of my bed, he kicked pinched scratched and hit me all night, and stuck his little finger up my nose a hundred times, im a light sleeper and by the time he was one, i was insane with sleep loss!

Answer 10

Speaking from personal experience the first thing you need to do, if you have the space in your home, is to take the crib out of your bedroom.

After you've done that, it's all about standing your ground. I know that sounds harsh when you're dealing with a child, but you are setting the tone right now for the rest of your relationship with this child. You are also setting the tone for your child's place within your marriage for the rest of their lives.