My boyfriend and his daughter.........?

Question

My boyfriend and i separated mainly due to the fact that he wanted to give his daughter time to get used to him being with another woman outside of his ex-wife. We met in january of this year and things were going great until his 8 year old daughter felt that i was taking up to much of daddies time. We have gone around in circles trying to keep our relationship intact. It has gotten to the point where i dont come by unless he takes her to the baby sitters or i go by when it is time for her to go to bed. I finally went over to his house this weekend with HER. I have not been there with her there in probably over 2 months because her dad said that he had some work to do with her so that she could used to the idea of him having another woman. i went on a saturday and everygthing went fine, on sunday i took her swimming and tried to spend quality time with her but after that she started acting out with her dad and giving him attitude, like in the past, like she wanted me to go

contineud......i could not beleive that once again i was nice to her now she is acting as if like the time we spent together never happened. I told her dad that i try to keep her entertained and am nice to her, but once she is done having her fun with me her attitude changes and then she wants me to leave. i told her dad that even at eight she knows what she is doing and that she basically is learning how to use people. He constantly defends her behavior, but at the same time acts as if he wants things to work out between me and him. I keep telling him that he needs to stop letting her manipulate him and let her know that i am his woman and i am not going anywhere. His solution, once again, is to have me come over when she is not there. I keep telling that only allowing me to come over when she is gone is just giving her control of the situation. She feels that if she causes tension that i wont be back for awhile and thats pretty much how things have been going. What should i do

Peepersham, i feel this way sometimes, why do u think both of them are using me?

Answer 1

forget him. why are you even wasting your time on someone like that? there are soooo many men out there who dont have kids.

Answer 2

From the other side of the coin, I will tell you it is tough to be a single parent and "date" and find the balance between being a parent and having a life of one's own; kids are only kids for a very brief period of time and as a parent, they are a priority.

If he wants to be in a relationship with any woman, it is not unreasonable after six months of being together exclusively to start including him in her in his life and he daily activities with his child or children.

It does sound like he is using her as an excuse to keep you at bay emotionally and physically for whatever reasons that he has. It could be his own guilt at not spending enough time with his daughter or that he is not ready for the relationship to progress further than what it has at this point. If you want to try to work things out, take the focus off of the problem with the daughter and put is squarely where it belongs...with him. He may really not have a clue how to handle the situation and could benefit from short-term counseling to help him work out what ever his issues are.

As a parent, he is doing a her great disservice by cow-towwing to her hissy fits as it will only encourage her to push the envelope farther and harder as she gets older and only makes her feel more insecure as her Dad should be setting limits on her her...to put her in the driver's seat of both of lives is a horrid responsibility to put on a 8 year old.

Being a parent means setting limits to behaviors and sticking to them and being consistent so the child knows what the limits are and what is expected of them...you can't be their friend and the older they get, the more of the "bad" guy you may have to be for their own good.

Answer 3

Move on they are both using you.No real man would put up being bossed around by an 8 year old.And the 8 year old is learning some bad attitude at your expense.Move on and leave them behind.

Answer 4

It's very normal, she want daddy for herself. It's not an easy situaton but it's very winnable if you wanna do it. Look, she only have to trust you that you will not take daddy and run. If she trust you,yes ---if not--- no way. Going to his place once every 2 months is not going to help. By the way, if she trust you, she may hook u up (women!!!!!)