I have a fear of pregnancy and labour. Is this reasonable?

Question

I've heard and watched stories of women going through the 9 month process and labour itself. My mom said that when giving birth to me, she was tied down and stuff in the hospital in some other country... well, i plan to take care of a child of my own, but im afraid of the pain. I've heard many women say that they've gone through hours of pain through labour. I've talked about it with my partner, and he's said that he'll respect my decision. He discouraged adoption, (althought to me its a good idea) because he knows friends who got depressed and suffered when they found out that their parents were not their real ones.
Is my fear reasonable? Or is giving birth a miracle worth enduring the pain for?

Should I just get a cute pug instead T_T.

Answer 1

Yes, your fear is reasonable. I can honestly say that giving birth is a miracle. The pain is not one you will remember. Labour isn't that bad. They have so many ways to control it if you are in pain. I have 4 children and I think that giving birth to them was my biggest accomplishment.
When you are pregnant and you feel that life growning inside you and when you feel them move it is the coolest feeling in the world.
I loved being pregnant. Take childbirth classes and practice your breathing. It will help a lot! I would aslo reccommed using a mid wife. They are a lot more accessable if you are worried or scared in the middle of the night. They are there to answer all of your questions, and they don't worry about the time or reason of your call.
Good luck

Answer 2

I too have what feels like a petrifying fear of being pregnant and going through labor. I almost have an anxiety attack just thinking about it. I used to think that I would never have kids because of it. The whole thought of it disgusts me. I loathed the idea. Now that I am married I thought about adopting. As time passed, I decided I would have my own. We aren't ready yet, and I am still horrified at the thought but have realized "What is the worst thing that could happen?" You are in horrible pain and you have to give labor so at that time that is what you do. I am sure I will love my children and be glad that I had them, but I really don't think I will look back on giving birth as beautiful like so many proclaim, and I am okay with that. If I want kids, its what I have to do. Hell yeah your fear is reasonable, we women aren't all the same and you have a right to feel however you want, that doesn't mean you wouldn't be a good mother. If you decide to get pregnant just take it one day at a time and when the time comes know that God doesn't give you more than you can handle and YOU WILL BE OKAY! If you decide to adopt then good for you, there are lots of babies out there that need a home and wouldve possibly suffered a lot more than depression had they not gotten a home with you.

Answer 3

Being a parent is a wonderful special lifetime event. Pregnancy can be scarey. There are lots of terrible horror stories out there, but each pregnancy is different. Some people experience morning sickness, others do not, some women experience very emotional times due to hormonal changes, others do not. Each pregnancy is special and unique. It is something to be cherished as it is usually the result of a loving relationship and the overall gift from God. A new life to look after and take care of. Parents are parents the rest of their lives. I've only been pregnant once and my daughter is soon to be 15. She is a real joy in my life. My pregnancy was somewhat rough and my daughter was breech and had to be delivered by C-section. Although that was a painful experience, when you as a mother hold that new baby in your arms, there is no greater feeling in the world. The joy you feel as you examine your baby is second to none. You truly forget about any pain you have and it is well worth going through the nine months of pregnancy. Giving birth is a true miracle. That our bodies are made to create a life and then carry that life for nine months, then nurture that baby after birth and taking care of him/her is very special. Just be sure you are ready to take on the responsibility of having a child. Too many times today people want children and aren't ready to accept all the responsibility that goes with having children. I hope you make the right decision for you. God bless.

Answer 4

Look, first quit listening to all the horror stories. There is always someone around who will make it sound really really bad.... Second understand that the process of labor is work. That's why it's called labor. But it is worth every second of it...really once you hold that baby it all fades away. Think about it logically. If labor were soooo unbearable then why do women do it again and again? I have a friend that has 11 kids....all single births and loves each and every step from conception to delivery. I didn't like being awkward and clumsy when I was pregnant....and I had 3 c-sections. It's all in how you go about it. Everyone is afraid of the unknown...and pregnancy is one of the biggest unknowns in a woman's life. (At least the first time is.) Talk to your doctor. have him/her really explain and answer all your questions. Talk to a trusted friend that isn't out to scare you. The pain is only as bad as you let it be. If you are scared it will be worse, if you are calm and matter of fact about it you will breeze through it. Wait a bit, get married and relax. When your ready, you will know.

Answer 5

Being pregnant and having children is an incredible experience. Before I got pregnant, I also heard a lot of horror stories but the reality is that most women don't have horrific deliveries. It is painful - that is true but if it was so terrible, why would millions and millions of women all over the world keep having babies? It's because it is one of the most fulfilling things you can ever experience. And, incredibly your memory of the pain disappears. Don't forget, modern medicine now can do so much to make you more comfortable nowadays. If you want to have children, don't decide not to just because you are afraid of pregnancy and labour. You are not alone - many women feel afraid to a certain extent but decide they want to experience the miracle of bringing a life into the world anyway. As soon as you see your little baby's face, the pain you experienced will be worth it - trust me.

Answer 6

If it's that much of a fear for you, maybe you should still consider adoption. I can understand the problems that come from adoption, because I was adopted. However, I was involved in a closed adoption due to the era I was born in. Nowadays, you can choose an open adoption, so the child will always know who the people were that gave them life. I wouldn't exactly think they would consider their biological parents their "real parents." If you're worried about that, I wouldn't. They will consider you their parents without a doubt. Also, remember you'll be giving a child a home that otherwise could end up in an orphange or bounced around from foster home to another for the rest of his or her life. I wish you luck in your decisions.

Answer 7

Do you really want a child?

They have things for pain now, and it seems the every mom I know has given birth and lived to tell the tale. Would Casearean be an option I guess you should see an OB/GYN and talk about this.

I am not expert since I've never been pregnant and I've never wanted to be a mother.

Your partner sounds like a good man, btw.

Answer 8

I'm afraid of it myself... I think most women aren't thrilled about the pain that it takes to have a child. However, it's just a few hours. Hundreds and thousands of women go through it, and come out alright, and then choose to have more children, so it can't be THAT bad. I think once you're done with labor and you have your baby, it doesn't really matter anymore.

That said, I think if you want to adopt, that's perfectly fine too.

As far as your partner saying that he knows people who got depressed when they found out they were adopted--now you know to be up front with your kids about their family history. Don't be like "SURPRISE!! You're adopted!!!!" on their 20th birthday. I'm sure there are also lots of resources available for people who have adopted children that have vast expertise on how to explain it to their kids.

Answer 9

Some people have a lot of pain and others have very little. We had originally planned on 10 kids but stopped at two. When our son was born, he cracked my wife's spine during labor. We were not about to risk a worse fate after that. At the other extreme, I know one woman who said that she had sex on the delivery table.

Answer 10

We women were ment to indure pain because EVE ate the apple!

I've had 4 children. There is not one thing in this whole world I'd ever do if possible to exchange them for.

Pain ..... there are so many things they do for your pain. The pain is worth the "mirical" you and your love created within your own womb.

Even lamaze classes help you breathe properly and teach you what to expect.

I'm sorry, but any woman who is so selfish to not indure alittle pain, wouldn't make a good mother to begin with, by having her own child or even adopting one.