How to make a 10 yr old fit in?

Question

I have 3 kids, 10, 4, and 1 1/2. My 4 yr old is deaf and takes a lot of attention and my youngest has been in and out of the hospital and also requires a lot of attention. We don't really go places. I had to stop working a move in with my dad so my money isn't what it use to be. I have tried to explain it to her but she needs one on one time with me which is hard since no one can really take care of the youngest. My 10 yr old doesn't talk to express herself or her wants and needs unless I poke and prod it out of her. What do I do? Where should I take her? What do 10 year old girls like to do. I try painting nails, doing small crafts or watching movies. She also spends HOURS doing homework (she has prob. w/math so i give her practice work. No more than 10 probs) on the weekends. This past weekend she literally spend 20 hours sitting at the table doing work for 7 problems. What am I missing? I know she daydreams instead of working, but there has to be more to it...doesn't it?

Answer 1

I would give one day to her... tell her how special this day is because it is dedicated to her and no matter what, she can do what she wants to do on that day. If she knows money is tight than she might pick something more easy on your wallet... in fact, tell her in advance and ask for her to write some things she would like to do if she had a day for herself where she can do what she wants...and from there pick something to do...
I would take some time alone with her and talk... tell her some personal things like how you feel and open up to her and show her it is alright to talk about your feelings ....
she probably feels second to everyone Else's needs and doesn't feel like she needs to speak up, thinking she isn't as valuable as everyone else... and that could reflect her work... its the little things that count... so make them count for her mom

Answer 2

I take my kids to the lake and swim .... or there's a nature trail. Not into the outdoors? How about finding out what it is she wants to be when she grows up ... and take her to tour a facility that does that ... for example, If she wants to be a nurse tours a hospital. It's best if you have a friend that does that or works at the same place. Or just call ahead and ask if it'd be ok and when a good time would be, let them know your interested in helping your daughter and inspire her to focus on school work.

Yeah Cheetah Girls are still popular.... And yeah you can find some powerful songs for young girls. I loved girl scouts when I was little, and it really helped me to come out of my shell. Then again writing also helps too ... maybe get her a diary?
Ask her to cook is a great way to get a kids to open up. I loved it ... my mom bought a book and there are receipes I could follow as a child. I bet there's excellent receipes aval for kids online.

One I loved was mimi pizzas! Bicuits from those lil roll can/tubes ..... a lil spaghetti sauce and mozerella maybe a lil pepperoni , sasuage, pineapple, ham, bacon, mushrooms, you name it!!!!

Maybe get her into reading. I LOVE American girls when I was maybe her age.

Sports are a definate self esteam builder. Softball? Soccer? Volleyball? Basketball? Cheerleading? Gymnastics? Ballet? Tap? Jazz? Karate? Drill team? Tae won Do? Something!
Let her feel special.... let her do something on her own... and feel a sense of acomplishment.

As for the math ... I love it when I GOT TO DO THE SHOPPING. Mom would say here's what I need ... no here's the money ... and she'd push the basket and I'd walk around and firgure things out ... Which one has more OZ .... and price per OZ? which is a better deal?
And I learned if I got the cheap stuff we'd have enough for ice cream or cookies or something sweet for us kids. =)

Answer 3

Has your daughter constantly been volatile? Is she somewhat on the obsessive/compulsive area (not scientific, yet way extra effective than regularly occurring) whilst she gets harm, fairly of searching for convenience, does she get extremely offended, throw a in high quality condition, and run to her room? Is it even worse if she's hungry/drained/ill? I also have a fifteen year old daughter who fits all the above. If this feels like your daughter, enable me understand. be at liberty to digital mail me. I too would recommend an assessment with the aid of a scientific psychologist. issues i'd recommend are some sort of sensory subject. My daughter is hypersensitive to discomfort and discomfort of any sort. Being hungry makes her previous depressing to be around. Any harm reasons fits of rage. She gets so crushed with the aid of the sensations that she each and every so often won't be able to keep in mind how undesirable she have been given. this is getting extra advantageous as she gets older and her irritating equipment matures. She is likewise very tactile gentle (touch) For years in basic terms putting on footwear and socks became right into a substantial adventure that ought to harm an afternoon. anyhow, if any of this sounds time-honored, enable me understand and that i will intricate extra. good success. I completely experience your discomfort!!!

Answer 4

I feel for you..and can relate. I have 4 children and our youngest is autistic and takes up a great deal of our time and attention. Your daughter sounds a lot like our 9 yro daughter.

I bought a little journal for her to write her feelings in. I do not invade her privacy and read it but she has shown it to me before. I think it is easier to express herself in writing and helps her from bottling her emotions up. I also bought another journal and it is called "Julie is special because..". A few times a week I go in her room when she isn't home and write a few sentences about what she has done recently that I am proud of or makes her special. I know she reads it and it is a pleasant suprise for her to see a new entry. I also talked to other mother's of girls in her class. I found out what things they did after school and got my daughter involved. This helped her self esteem.

The homework maybe her way of controlling her enviroment. She feels she has little control in her life and school work is something she CAN control. Classic overachiever symptoms. Discuss this with her teacher as well (and school counselor).

Best wishes and keep the faith...I'll be thinking of you.

Answer 5

My neice is 10 and somewhat that same way. One thing I was really impressed with though was the Cheetah Girls and Raven music and the positive messages it gave girls. Plus I think Cheetah girls are still pretty popular right now for that age group.

As for the math, if you can involve her in something like cooking with you, you can trick her into doing math. Even something as simple as cutting a pizza and talking about fractions. Of even chat with her on doing the bills, dont stress her out on money, but just learning how that works is a good math skill. Plus it will give you time together on things you are already doing.

Answer 6

Find out if she wants to help with the other siblings. Ask a family member to watch the other two and spend some one on one time with her. It doesn't have to be expensive. Find a park in your area with a creek or river and go for a walk with her. Play for a while. I know you need your rest to but put the other two to bed and have a camp out with her in the living room. Blankets, pillows and smores are much better when enjoyed in the comfort of your home.

Answer 7

Can you meet with her school counselor and explain all that? Tell the counselor that you're really desperate for help. Also, there are sometimes agencies that provide free counseling, etc.

Is she able to join any kind of girl scouts or something at school?

Answer 8

Get her tested by a neuropsychologist for a learning disorder; esp ADHD.

Answer 9

she might have ADD take her to your dr.