my1 year screams herself to sleep for hours at night what can i do to stop it?

Question

as soon as you put my one year old in her crib she starts screaming the only way she stops is if she cries herself to sleep ( which can be up to 3-4 hours) or if i go in am pick her up. Most days it doesn't matter if I am in the room or not. I have been letting her just cry herself to sleep cause people say she will just give up and eventually the crying will get less and less. I have been doing this for 5 months now and the crying isn't getting any better and it is now affecting my marriage. Help

Answer 1

You should not be letting her cry in there for 3-4 hours! I only let my 1 year old cry for 15 minutes before I go and get her out. Are you putting her to bed early? Is she full, changed, and sleepy yet? I try and give my daughter a bottle of milk when I put her down. I also have one of those aquarium things in the crib for her to watch while she falls asleep.

To me, it sounds like your daughter just isn't ready to go to bed. If she naps during the day you should stop them for a little while. And definitely make sure she isn't hungry when you put her down.

Answer 2

Wow! I'm sure you're just trying to do the best you can, but you need to stop what you're doing and try something else pronto. I mean, what you're doing kinda fits the describtion of neglect. When people say let the baby cry it out, they usually mean for like 10 minutes, 30 minutes tops!

Try picking up the book The Baby Whisperer, you could probably find it at the library, or a baby/kids consignment store.

Getting a baby to sleep depends alot on what you do before hand. You haven't said what you do before-hand, so I'll start with that. Give baby a bath (a nice warm, relaxing one), then dry her off while you speak softly or sing to her, give her a bottle of warm milk or formula (8oz) and cuddle with her while she drinks it. Read her a couple stories, and then place her in the crib. Say goodnight and leave the room. Have a nightlight on, and you could buy a little cd player and a lulluby cd. If she cries, wait 10 minutes and if she's still crying, go in, don't pick her up, just talk softly to her and then leave again. Keep repeating this.

Because you've let this go on for so long, it's not going to be easy to change. Try what I have suggested for at least 2 weeks, and if it's still not working, go to your pediatrician for more advice.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Make sure she is really tired. and whatever you do DO NOT GO IN HER ROOM! You HAVE to be persistent or she just figures that if she keeps crying you will eventually come in and get her. Try letting her only take a 1 hour nap and go outside with her during the day, keep her up as long as possible until you know she is so dead tired... Ive even heard of babies and toddlers being so tired that they are restless and dont get adequate sleep. Try giving her a bath before bed, read a book to her, give her some warm milk, and rock her, but do make sure that she is still awake before putting her to bed, tell her night night and close the door. If she cries for 10 minutes go back in her room lay her back down in her bed and tell her night night and leave the room and close the door.. ... Do this for 5-7 days and you will see a substantial difference in her sleeping =) It helped with all 3 of my little girls which are ages 4, 3, and 1 1/2 good luck and trust me it will get better!!!!

Answer 4

Your letting her scream for 3-4 hours?!?!? That's waaaay too long! Seperation anxiety peeks at around 18 months so your little one is just probably going through this. She doesn't realize you are still around when she can't see you and it scares her. Also, you need to give her more attention and cuddles during the day too so she isn't wanting that after she's ready for bed. Also, you need to have a bedtime routine and stick to it, same hr's, same order every night. Don't play stimulating things w/ her less than an hr. before bed or she won't be able to wind down. You can play w/ her about an hr. and half before bed to get out her excess energy then start to play quiet games like looking at books to wind down. Make sure you turn off your tv and computer moniter b/c they are stimulating. Also, use soft lights. If your little one is afraid of the dark, use a nightlight in her room. If your child wakes up b/c of light, then make her room dark. Also, use a white noise machine to block out noise from the rest of the house, it will also soothe her to sleep. If your little one has trouble sleeping, try rubbing her back and face after you lay her down until she's calm. Also, if your child is going to sleep too early, then try moving back her bedtime an hr. or so (especially if she's a late riser). And don't listen to the lady that said to give her a bottle (1 yr. olds should be weaned from bottles already). Also, buy some parenting books and magazines. Oh, and next time you need help, don't wait 5 months before asking (by then it could be too late). If your hubby is there at night w/ you during your little one's bedtime, you could share putting your little one to bed by each having a diff. night (it will save your sanity and his too). On your night off, read a book, pamper yourself, do something relaxing. :) On his night off, he gets to do the same thing. :) Now, its not all on you and he will know what you're going through so he can't complain and he'll be more sympathetic and understanding. Hope everything works out! :)

Answer 5

Do not let your child scream and cry herself to sleep for that long a period of time. I know people say to let them cry themselves to sleep, but 3-4 hours and 5 months is too long, and it doesn't work for every child. If she were going to learn to self-soothe herself, it would have happened before now. She may be having separation anxiety. No pediatrician would recommend that you allow a young child to cry in that manner. Have a night time ritual: bath, cuddle, quite time (no tv, etc). She may just need to be with someone to go to sleep. Perhaps she is frightened of something. Give her a warm bottle, rock her to sleep, then place her in the crib. If nothing is working, talk with the pediatrician.

Answer 6

Well, the proper thing to do is....

Lay her in her bed. Walk out of the room. Let her cry for 15 min. After that 15 minutes, if she is still crying, go back in her room. DO NOT PICK HER UP, DO NOT TALK TO HER. You can lay her back down, and rub her back (if she isnt back on her feet) and leave.

Repeat this process, until she falls asleep.
Don't pick her up and hold her, because she is manipulating you, babies learn to do that at about 3 months old. Do not talk to her, because this isnt social hour. You dont want to offer fun, just a quick reminder that mommy is still there.

Try this at first for her nap. That way you arent trying to sleep too. If you are consistant, this should work within 3-4 nights.

Also, you can try using a sound machine and put on white noise.

This should work, I was a foster parent for 4 yrs, and had 3 month old twin boys. It took a few nights, but I got them sleeping much better with this method.

Good luck mom, I know this is difficult...just make sure dad realizes you and he are in this together. Work as a team.

Answer 7

Oh wow. I was feeling your pain until you said how long she been doing it for!! First, I have a couple questions for you:
Is there something in her room that she's afraid of?
Do you have a bedtime ritual(rocking, story, singing)?
Does your husband ever try to rock or comfort her?
And finally, Does she have any musical toys(glow worm baby or anything like that in her crib)

Now my kids were all really hard to get to stay in there bed--my middle one is 4 and he can still be a turd!!
But I finally bought my youngest(17m) one of those bears with the heartbeat and the glow worm that I mentioned. Those work great!! The worm more, now that she's older. But like your daughter, mine would scream and cry--and I can't stand that, so I'd cave and go in and rock her until she calmed down and fell asleep with me holding her.
But now days, I ask her if she's ready to go night-night(its not really a question, it just lets her know that its bedtime) and we go in and rock and sing, then I place her in her crib and press her glow worm's belly and she stays laying down and is asleep within a few minutes!!!
I know right now you are soooo frustrated, but I'm sure you're doing everything you can think of. Kids are just hard to figure out what they want--especially when they aren't really using words to communicate!!
You can try giving her a bottle or a pacifier to see if that will help her calm down...
But if you don't have some sort of bedtime pattern, I HIGHLY recommend making one!! It will save your marriage and your anxiety!!
GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

Answer 8

Couple things to try, not sure if you have.

Some babies at 1 are ready to get rid of naps, maybe she just needs less sleep than others. Or even try to get her more active during the day.

If you, have a bedtime ritual, try something completely different. If you dont, start one, with quiet time, reading books. I often will use a boring sleepy voice when reading, to try and soothe them out. The other thing you could revert too (Im no expert) is just rocking her to bed, then if it gets her in a habit, try to diminish and diminish this, y lying her down, then back pats, and a soothing mommy voice.

The third thing, I just thought of, is have her ears checked. Ear infections can sometimes only cause pain when lying down. That was a big red flag to us, when ours freaked out at bedtime.

Answer 9

well shes probably scared. if this has been going on since she has been only a 7 month old child...she probably just is scared. even so you should take her to the doctor and check her for an ear infection. poor baby i feel so sorry for her, why not bring her in your room, even in a portable playpen. then maybe she wouldnt cry so much and your wonderfully supportive partner wouldnt have to be so affected this way and the poor child can be in by momma and daddy...a child shouldnever have to cry her self to sleep constanly for hours nad hours on end...poor little thing

Answer 10

I tried this with my daughter who is now 4 and what I had to do was actually lay in the room with her until she fell asleep. Now that she is older she is unwilling to sleep in her own room she is going through alittle seperation anxiety so now she sleeps in her bed on my floor. She feels safe and I feel safe knowing she is okay and not being left alone when she feels like she needs me.