I recently bumped into my ex-girlfriend's brother. The meeting got me thinking about my ex. We had fallen in love some years back - she was my first love and we were pretty into each other. Powerful feelings. I was incredibly selfish and self-centered, however, and did many hurtful things.
I am happily married now to someone else, but I've been thinking of contacting my ex-girlfriend simply to apologize to her. I don't know if this is the right thing to do, especially since I don't plan on telling my wife if I do decide to go ahead and apologize to my ex. My wife simply wouldn't understand. Can't blame her though, since I wouldn't want her reaching out to her ex-boyfriends.
So, what should I do? I feel it is important to seek forgiveness from my ex, but is it fair to my wife?
2007-08-27 15:11:08 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Cool it fireball! Your headed for trouble.....big time! You yourself said you would be upset with your wife for doing what you are doing now. If there are "powerful feelings" still there I would not let myself get around something that could get out of hand. You said you are a Christian and in Christianity adultery is a pretty serious thing. Your wife deserves all your attention now. There is no need to stir those old emotions up now and risk hurting your marriage and poor wife, which would be a far greater sin than what you did to your ex girlfriend! Your wife gets priority!
2007-08-27 15:24:59 · answer #1 · answered by Marie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A Christian husband should put his family right behind God in his priorities list. If you can't talk to your wife about it then something is wrong. There is no way you should contact an ex-girlfriend for whom you had strong feelings without first talking to your wife about the matter. Your wife is your life partner. You two have "become one" in God's eyes. Since you have past emotions clouding your judgment just like the driver of a car can use the help of someone in the passenger seat to warn them about things they may not see, so too can your wife be there to help you see something that may be in a "blind spot".
2007-08-27 22:25:42 · answer #2 · answered by Martin S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a negative.
If you already know it is something you can't or shouldn't tell your wife, it is best not to do it at all. Imagine this scenario played out: You don't tell your wife, but you contact your ex. Then your wife finds out. Are you going to have some serious problems...most definitely.
2007-08-27 22:24:08 · answer #3 · answered by KS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could figure out a way to tell that to your wife. If she understands, then that would be OK to do it, when your wife knows you are going to do that.
Once I felt it was important to ask forgiveness from one ex-girlfriend.. and I did so, I just went and asked forgiveness to her, and it was great, because I felt freedom after that, BUT I was NOT married at that time.
2007-08-27 23:01:56 · answer #4 · answered by Joshua 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say if you don't want your wife to contact her old boyfriends and you don't think she would understand then you probably should not do it. You might consider a 1 way letter to her but other then that if you hurt your wife in the process it would not be worth it.
2007-08-27 22:20:02 · answer #5 · answered by budleit2 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not fair to your wife! Screw the fake forgiveness. your motive is clear fellow...............
Pray now ask for forgiveness from Jesus and His Father in Heaven. Forget the girlfriend......Ex means wife ex wife, not ex sleep over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are only fooling your self. We can ALL see the scum bag you really are fellow!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-08-27 23:07:13 · answer #6 · answered by bugsie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would advice not opening that door. Most likely she has moved on with her life. Going forward could bring consequences you may not find pleasant or want to deal with. Just leave it alone.
2007-08-27 22:19:54 · answer #7 · answered by BrotherMichael 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it. You answered your own question. You said:
Can't blame her though, since I wouldn't want her reaching out to her ex-boyfriends.
Why would she feel any different?
2007-08-27 22:17:47 · answer #8 · answered by Northstar 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
In my book, the definition of "cheating" is "doing something you have to hide from your spouse because you know it would upset them."
2007-08-27 22:17:38 · answer #9 · answered by Nandina (Bunny Slipper Goddess) 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me that you already know that you should stay away from her, so why do you ask man about what God has already told you in you heart?
2007-08-27 22:19:13 · answer #10 · answered by Homer Jones 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋