Do christians 'forgive' people they believe have wronged them just to appease god?

Question

I don't understand the logic behind that.

'You killed my family, but I forgive you, my brother, because my mythological deity says I should, even though deep down I hate your guts, so I'll just put on a show of forgiving you because that's what jesus would do, at least according to the interpretations of the bible that someone in my community convinced me of as being the truth."

Something like that?

Seems a bit insincere if you ask me.

AnswerMan - That's why I'm asking YOU, genius.

Answer 1

These people are just walking contradictions. They deny their own ignorance and they ignore their denial. They’ll tell you that education brings them closer to God, but then reject any knowledge (and there’s a lot) that casts doubt on their beliefs. And all to maintain a delicate balance of belief over knowledge. It’s inevitable that a day will come when a truth so shocking and traumatic will upset the delicate balance and reduce them to blubbering wrecks, curled up in the fetal position waiting to die. Pity the fools for they know no better.

Answer 2

Words like forgiveness, love, hate, are freely tossed about without any thought given to the true meaning. It is a bit of nonsense to say "I forgive" you for stepping on my foot in a crowded elevator, clearly you meant no harm.

As someone who knows what it is to truly suffer intentional physical and mental harm, and knowing that was the true intent, I can tell you these things about forgiveness.

It takes years to achieve forgiveness. Each time you search yourself looking for the forgiveness, you relive the wounds. The search of seeking the strength to forgive, costs far much more than the original harm ever did. To say that I did so to appease God, is nonsense, God would not judge me if I had chosen to bury it and never bring it to mind again. To forgive truly means to let go of the right to call up anger when it serves me, it frees me to grow in my self worth, value and esteem, If frees me to assist another woman who may be struggling with similar issues. Only to appease God, no, I don't think so.

Answer 3

I doubt a sincere Christian can forgive anyone in the fashion you describe. Mainly because a sincere Christian doesn't consider God to be mythological. So your question as it is stated falls down before it can be answered. I wouldn't call your question insincere, but possibly tinged with a dose of animosity. I don't understand the logic behind that.

Answer 4

Ahh good question, my best answer is God is very serious about His expectations -- that said our anger, nor our familial love and affections should supercede His requirement for us to put Him first.

Although just like living a Christian life, forgiveness takes time experience and practice.

It comes easier when it is done simply for God and not to appease him. There's a difference, to appease implies -- wanting something in return for this one particualr act [of forgiveness] and simply for Him suggest a total overall commitment to him and the act is only part of this process.

Besides if we want God to forgive us our sins, we must forgive -- even if our sins don't include murder like in your example, they are still sins, and need to be forgiven by him.

Answer 5

I don't think that's true forgiveness. True forgiveness comes from God, and is a heart issue instead of simply an "I forgive you" statement. Plenty of people state forgiveness, but many people unfortunately do not think carefully about what it means to truly forgive them. I do not think that it would be possible for someone to forgive people who have wronged them just to appease God, since I believe (and I think it says this in the Old Testament) that only God can truly forgive. We need His help.

Answer 6

Well, yeah, if you look at it like that. But for true forgiveness, a person understands that they have much sin in their own lives and yet a very real God forgives them. We also understand that when you forgive someone, really forgive them, you let go of the control that that person had over you. If you continue to hate, it festers and you lose a part of yourself to the person who wronged you or your family. Even secular psychologists will tell you that forgiveness is an act of healing.

Answer 7

Not just to appease God. The Bible says to always forgive. Hate just burrows down deep into your soul and hurts forever. Better to forgive and go on. It does not mean that you will ever forget.

Answer 8

Forgiveness isn't being buddy-buddy with someone who's done you wrong. It's a decision to get over yourself, and love them anyway.

Love is wanting what's best for another person, regardless of how you feel about them. Let's go back to high school; let's say your best friend has just started dating your ex, even though you still had feelings for your ex and your friend knew it. You were probably upset and never wanted to talk to your friend again. For good reason- someone who will betray you that way probably isn't the kind of person you want as a friend. But that doesn't mean you should hope they get in a car wreck and die that night, and it doesn't mean you should do whatever you can to sabotage their new relationship. In circumstances like that, getting over yourself is difficult to do, but it is possible. And once you've done it, you feel better. Staying mad just means you stay mad, and no one sensible enjoys being angry.

Answer 9

YOU appease your god? What a sentence.

To forgive somebody is not a force, but according to the bible you have to forgive until seventy times seven times and that is an order. A true person always seeking peace with others, not keeping grudge and attack.

Answer 10

I don't know if that really washes, my fundie brother won't even 'forgive' me for not believing as he does never mind anything else. I think that is reserved for those inside the group - much like a secret handshake.