Atheists, what would you tell your kids when someone they know dies?

Question

I'm guessing, "they're in a better place now" is out of the question...so what do you say?
"They're going to turn to dirt soon"?

Answer 1

Do theists say "Aunt Martha's flesh is now decomposing as bacteria feast on a body bereft of an immune system. Her coffin lies in the dirt but it will decay and worms and other bugs will crawl through what's left of her rotting decomposing corpse. Her soul may be in heaven but it may be tormented eternally by demons in Hell, only the Lord knows?"

Atheists do not usually focus on the details of the body unless they want the kids to know about the circle of life similar to the theist message "ashes to ashes, dust to dust." We don't pretend we know there's a soul. We focus on how much the loved one meant to us, how much they continue on in our hearts. We focus on the sorrow we feel at losing them, but how they are not in any pain now. We focus on how, although it's sad to think about how they are gone, it's warming to think of how much we loved them and how much they loved us.

Honestly, what about your world view leads you to ask such a question?

Answer 2

I have never seen my mum go to church outside of commitments I had at school - btw I'm an atheist only went to that school to get a good education, and its one of the reasons why I do call myself an atheist.
When my dad (he was an atheist also) died I was the only one at home, so as a 9 yr old not a lot had to be explained to me cause I was the one who had to tell others what had happened. But not once did anyone saying anything like "they're going to turn to dirt soon" cause that is just insensitive, but I probably did have explanations along the line of "they're in a better place now", maybe not those exact words but something similar - and that saying isn't a Christian saying and doesn't mention that the person has gone to heaven, they could have been suffering and it offers comfort that they are no longer suffering .

Being an Atheist doesn't mean being insensitive or blunt, but it does appear that by being a Christian you are naive and rude to other people for no good reason.

Answer 3

Why are you so rude? You know what we'd say... we wouldn't say "they're in a better place now". We'd say they're at rest, and they're not suffering. To remember the good times.

In other words, the same damned thing you do except that god doesn't figure into it at all and we don't lie to our kids just so they can feel better.

Its better to learn to accept death as a natural part of life instead of living in such terror of it that you create elaborate fantasies surrounding it just to make yourself feel less afraid.

Why are religious people so weird? If you religious could learn to just accept that death is a natural part of life, and not to make up these stories, we'd all be better off. You'd stop thinking about tomorrow and concentrate on today and maybe some of the damned problems in the world would actually get fixed.

Answer 4

That death and loss are part of life. That's the truth.

They're not going to turn to dirt, they're going to continue living in the world in a different way. And it's OK to miss them and talk about them and remember them as much as we want to.

Answer 5

Your question illustrates the fantastic thinking of Christians. Rather than face reality and deal with it, Christians invented a pie in the sky afterlife that would allow a child to think that nothing ever dies. The fact is, the deceased ARE going to turn to dirt soon.

Answer 6

Given that most people die from either horrible accidents or more likely, super-horrible chronic diseases, death is a release from extreme suffering. I would say that, and I would suggest, much like the ancient Greeks believed, that our loved ones persist in our memories. Other than that dead is just dead. Nothing to be feared nearly so much as not having lived an authentic life.

Answer 7

My kids understand that death is the end, and are much stronger atheists that I am. I tend to be more spiritual while they are realists.

Having lost people close to them, they get it. They know everything dies at some point. I simply tell them that so-and-so died, what happened, and that's pretty much the end of it.

Answer 8

if you are purely curious about what an atheist tells their children about god and death than that is fine.

but my problem is that so many christians think that it is a moral victory on their own part that the christian explanation of death is much more comforting and "easy" to a child's young mind.

Answer 9

the truth (as opposed to fiction of any religion).
every living thing has a finite time on this earth, when death occurs, that's it. no soul rising to or descending into an afterlife, no chance at reincarnation, no eternal love.
it's not scary, it's not avoidable, and no one will punish or reward you for your existence.
live honestly with a high ethical code because it's right, and you will be loved and remembered by those whom you matter.

Answer 10

I would tell them that they have (for the youngests) or will (for the more mature kids, who don't believe in the tooth fairy anymore) become star stuff.
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> Atheists, what would you tell your kids when someone they know dies?