Adoption. I am 34 and my husband is 46. Do you think birth parents would?

Question

choose or not choose us do to our age. We are planning on going through an agency to adopt and the agency says birth parents like younger couples but mostly go by the mothers age. What do you think?

For all your answers. Thank you so much. You all have made me feel so much better. God bless you all. :) Pray I find my future baby soon, either by birth or adoption or even one of each would be even better. :)

Answer 1

You should have no problems. Based on how things work in your area, you might wait a tiny bit longer than a younger couple, but you just never know. It might go the other way. Different birthmothers value different things. Some might consider it an asset that you are a more "mature" couple with some years behind you.

I am a birthmother myself, and I chose a couple almost exactly your ages - mom was 32 and dad was 44. They also had three kids already. They were told to expect a long wait because most birthmothers choose families without kids. But I wanted my son to have a big family, so they worked out perfect.

Overall, birthparents will consider your ages, but I guarantee it will not be the deciding factor. Much more important will be your values, lifestyle, how much contact you want, and other similar factors. Have faith and patience - there is a child who is meant to be yours, he/she just may not be conceived or born yet. But it will happen!

Best of luck.

Answer 2

I think any birth mom would be relieved that you are both established and stable to provide a loving home!
I am 36 and thankfully already had my children without complications, but if I had chosen to adopt, I certainly don't feel old when so many 1st time moms are waiting until they are 40 to start families.
As a juvenile products manufacturer, I do a lot of research. Did you know the average age for 1st time moms is 27-35 in the US? People are planning college, careers, weddings to the RIGHT person and taking their time. THEN they plan families and it only makes sense it takes until they're in their mid 30's to start having babies or adopting.
A mom in her mid 30's can totally handle raising a baby - still having lots of energy and being active. Women in their 20's aren't as stable - no offense - it's just a fact. I had all my babies when I was in my 20's and looking back, I have so much more patience now and I am so much more at peace with myself being in my 30's than I was back then. Life experience gives you some of that.
I don't think you're going to have any problem. Best Wishes and Success!

Answer 3

I think people are more aware of how much later in life many couples are choosing to start having children. I think other factors will matter more to prospective birth parents.

I had a child when i was 17 and chose to find an adoptive family for him. For many many reasons.. and I'm glad to say with the best of outcomes I could have hoped for.

I was more concerned about a couple's security *ability to financially support raising a child, home ownership, education level*... community involvement... family connections *like would he have a loving, supporting extended family not just the adopting couple but grandparents and cousins*... length of time the couple was married.. very many things before the couple's ages ever occurred to me, if it ever occurred to me at all.

I say find a good agency that understands your concerns. Find one that requires lots and lots of information from you.. because if they like to be very informed about you, as the adopting couple, they will also be very informed about potential birth parents... giving you better history and background etc about children that you may be able to adopt. When you are given a profile to fill out.. fill it out.. fill it.. fill it with your heart and your intention for the child that might come into your life. Let that speak to the birth mother, she wants a loving home for her child. In the end.. age won't matter. Find an adoption councelor also.. someone to help you with the emotional process.

This is a huge and wonderful thing you are about to embark on. Do it honestly, do it now *if the time is right*, and just believe that opening your heart and home to a child is a real blessing on you .. and hopefully a birth mother somewhere, reading your file through the agency, can feel your hearts :)

Sincerely, when i was looking for a home for my first *and so far, only* born child... my son... age didn't even register. I just wanted him to be loved and honored and raised well and happy.
Wishing you luck and love and god's hand.

Answer 4

Don't even worry about it. I'm 32 and just adopted our second son 4 months ago. My hubby is the same age. A birthmom wants parents that are stable, have a good relationship and that can give their child a loving home. Granted, I'm sure that some birthmoms wouldn't want to choose a couple that looks like they should be grandparents, but being young at heart is much more important.
Is your agency asking you to make a family profile or scrapbook? You can use that as your best weapon. Show lots of photos of how fun you are and how much you could give a child.

Answer 5

I am a birth parent, and when I chose adoption 20 years ago, we birth mothers had a lot of say about the type of parents our babies would be raised by.

I did not want older adoptive parents, this is mostly because people become too set in their ways, and can find the transiton into parenthood a lot harder than a younger, more adaptable person.

Remember, this is only the opinion of one person. I'm sure there will be plenty of other birth mothers out there who won't mind what age the adoptive parents are.

Answer 6

You are in the perfect age range to adopt. There are some agencies that work directly with birth parents, and others that work with CPS and orphanages, so the birth parents have no say, only law.

Adopting abroad is also a great choice, as you're in prime age range for just about all countries.

Answer 7

I know several couples in their 30s who have adopted.

When speaking to your agency, ask how many adoptions they process in which the bio parents do not choose the adoptive parents. That should be an option for you. If they do not handle those types of adoptions, I would call another agency, such as Catholic Charities. Someone should be able to help you.

Good Luck.

Answer 8

I think it depends on the agency that you go through and how open you are to accepting whatever child God gives to you. My brother and his wife had their 4th child 11 years after the next youngest. Both of them were in their 40's. They decided to adopt another child the same age as the little one. They went through a respected Christian organization, were willing to accept a special needs child and had an age range, not just a set age. It took 9 months (appropriate I think) and now I have a wonderful new neice from China who just celebrated her 4th birthday, her first in Canada.

I think it would depend alot on how open you are. If you will only accept a newborn of a certain background then your wait will likely be longer but if you have a loving home, I think people will see that and eventually you will get your child, irregardless of age.

Answer 9

I don't think that you and your husband's age would hinder your plans of adopting. What is more important is your willingness to have a child to become part of your family. Your ability to adopt will also depend on your readiness to raise a child, your emotional maturity as well as financial stability to ensure that the child will have a good future.

I hope you find your angel soon. I just wish that there will be more parents out there who will be most willing to adopt. There are just too many abandoned, neglected and even unwanted children who need caring.

Answer 10

First, make sure that the agency does not have an age maximum for you or your husband, some have a max of 45 years of age, that also depends on domestic and international choices as well. Some countries have age restrictions.

Most birth mothers make their decisions on a "connection" they feel to you. Alot of times, they also relate to you because you remind them of "their" parents. As long as your husband is young at heart, appears to be vibrant and loving life, and can be seen as a good role model for a child, I don't think his age should be a factor.

Our birth mother chose us, I am 44, my husband is 47. Good luck to you, remember.........patience is a virtue.