After being pushed way beyond the limit with emotional abuse, I threw a hair clip at my live-in boyfriend, which hit him on the forehead, near his hairline. He immediately retaliated with a blow to my temple, using his fist. I suffered from a huge knot on my head and bruising that lasted more than three weeks. At the time, I wanted to call the police; however, I was afraid that I would also be arrested for throwing the object at him. Although I realize that it was wrong to throw something at him, I feel that what he did to me was not justified.
2007-08-27 13:11:51 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
you DO mean EX-boyfriend don't you?
2007-08-27 13:19:58 · answer #1 · answered by VN-Cop 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, what you did is not domestic abuse, or if it is, it would be extremely minor and nothing to get arrested for! For your boyfriend to retaliate in the manner that he did IS abuse. Most laws state that it is self defense to use equal force to ward off an attack. A hair clip would not leave a mark or only hurt very minutely for a second. He gave you lasting pain and trama and possibly could have killed you or at least given you a concussion, which is not self defense and besides, he attacked you after the fact. Self defense would have been to grab the clip from your hand before you threw it or just putting up a hand to his face to deflect the flying object. You should definitely move out, its only going to get worse. It also sounds like his behavior is turning you into an angry person too. Who needs it? Go find a good man and live up to your potential!!
2007-08-27 20:26:46 · answer #2 · answered by jagjava 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abuse is abuse no matter how you look at it! Yes because you those something at him in anger and it did strike him it could have been a case of abuse on both of your parts! However an object that caused no pain or injury would have been thrown out of court, now what he did to you was very wrong and you should have called the cops on him no matter what you did. The injury to you was much greater and what happened to him he got a red mark for all of a minute! Get ride of this guy cause as the old saying goes once a man starts hitting on you he will never stop, and the ones that say
"Ohhhh baby I swear I'll never do it again, do!" So don't trust them no matter how much you love him!
2007-08-27 20:27:23 · answer #3 · answered by jacki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, at the time that he hit you, you were not actively attacking him (you had already thrown what you were going to throw); he can't claim that he hit you in self defense.
Under the law here (in Missouri) you would probably both be guilty of Domestic Assault, but if the hairclip didn't leave a mark on him, it would be tough to prove that you had thrown it.
What he did was NOT justified and I would recommend finding a new boyfriend / living arrangements.
2007-08-27 20:21:23 · answer #4 · answered by Citicop 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is domestic abuse to throw something at him.
However, not all states allow the "victim" to hit in self defense and the ones that do ONLY allow similar force.
PLEASE tell me you are not still with him? You do realize it will just happen over and over?
2007-08-27 22:35:39 · answer #5 · answered by Marlon M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is what he did not justified, but what you did is? It seems you have a belief that you can do whatever you want, but others have to live by a set of rules. Both of you are guility of domestic violence. However if i had to choose which one of you was the worse of the bunch, it would be you for first escalating the arguement to violence.
I bet this will fall on deaf ears, but it sounds both of you would be better off alone. Bringing the worst out of each other is a key sign for moving on.
2007-08-27 20:45:24 · answer #6 · answered by Cysteine 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Yup, but you clearly got the short end of the exchange. I'd get ride of him - if he hit you once he'll do it again.
2007-08-27 20:20:01 · answer #7 · answered by Lavrenti Beria 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
fool for staying in the relationship. Nothing more i can say except, get out.
2007-08-27 20:28:35 · answer #8 · answered by Glinda W 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah, he's in a hell of a lot more trouble than you'd be. get out.
2007-08-27 20:32:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋