My husband and I work at the same place. He recently got moved to a different shift. Since then, people see me driving myself in and feel that they can ask me for a ride (or hint at it). I have made excuses to people, such as my male boss, as to why I can't give him a ride because I'm afraid of what people will think. If people see me not riding in with my husband anymore and then see me leaving with some guy in my car everyday, they're going to talk. They will all assume that I'm either cheating on my husband or have left him for someone else. I've talked to my husband about it and he doesn't know what to do. He trusts me enough to allow it but he doesn't want rumors going around either. My concern is that these rumors always escalate into something way bigger than they are. As they go from person to person, they get worse and worse until it turns into an outright lie. I don't want my husband to hear some lie like that and have it hurt our marriage. Do I keep telling people no rides?
2007-08-27 13:02:50 · 10 answers · asked by Deedee 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You are on the right track. It's great your husband trusts you, but rumours can start out of nothing. If people keep asking for rides, just tell them your insurance doesn't let you pick people up or invent 'errands' that you have to do on the way home so it wouldn't be convenient for you to give someone a ride.
2007-08-27 13:45:39 · answer #1 · answered by old lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You dont have to give rides to anyone, period. You shouldnt feel bad for coming up with excuses either.
But on the other hand, i would take your boss out for a ride - only if he doesnt have any bad intentions... who knows you might get a raise someday! People are calculating and sneaky why not use a situation to your advantage? Your husband will understand, I am sure. so as long as you, your husband and your boss are happy who cares what others think?
2007-08-27 20:21:29 · answer #2 · answered by Laura 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband and you already understand the potential situation issues, I don't really think you should concern yourself about something as mundane as giving rides. However, I have to wonder why your boss needs a ride. You are not obligated to take anyone home. To avoid any issues, just state that you are unavailable and soon enough people will stop asking.
2007-08-27 20:13:50 · answer #3 · answered by dawnb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't give a hoot what anyone thought. If you do carpooling normally, why stop now? If your husband and you have a great relationship and you have no problems with it, do it. If people want to talk, let them. However, if you find it disrupts your work - that is when HR is supposed to help you. However, perhaps, female riders would be easier to deal with in the long run rather than male riders. I'm married, I would just feel awkward with a male with me, by ourselves.
2007-08-27 20:39:44 · answer #4 · answered by daff73 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel bullied into being a chauffeur! Tell people if they get too nosy that it's an insurance thing and your policy does not expressly cover outside members in an accident or whatever. Be direct and be firm about it, so they never ring it up.
Your boss shouldn't invite himself into your car-THAT'S INCREDIBLY INAPPROPRIATE and treading on shaky legal grounds for himself!!!! Sexual harrassment lawsuit!!!! (you'd be surprised how much this law covers)
Besides, if they do start rumors you can always sue the company for defamation and emotional distress, provided the human resources dept. and your supervisor failed in their capacity to curb that mob mentality.
2007-08-27 20:11:01 · answer #5 · answered by SloBoMo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a hard situation, but if you and your husband feel that strongly about it , then go with your instints. These people have a job, and they need to find there own way to work. It's their piority not yours. You need to do what is right for the two of you.
2007-08-27 20:18:59 · answer #6 · answered by fuzzykitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say maybe give a woman a ride, instead of a man. If they come up with rumors about that, just laugh at them, literally.
Otherwise, I can see your concern - workplaces can be nasty gossip mills.
2007-08-27 20:06:51 · answer #7 · answered by Cheese Fairy - Mummified 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have a life and that life dictates to you certain things. You would like to oblige but! You are smart to know the score. Don't change your thoughts on this matter.
2007-08-27 20:21:24 · answer #8 · answered by plyjanney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off, people shouldn't assume they can ask you to drive them just b/c you have no one else in your car. other than that, if you want to drive them, go ahead. i doubt that decent people will read anything into it and those that do aren't worth the time of day.if you don't want to be a taxi service, then don't.
2007-08-27 20:13:34 · answer #9 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he trust you enough to allow you to do it, why should you care what anyone says? You contradict yourself.
2007-08-27 20:11:59 · answer #10 · answered by SexRexRx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋