recent loss of virginity... :/?

Question

ok. so i just lost my virginity to my boyfriend. and im starting to regret it. i mean, i love him and nothing could ever change that. but i feel like [not only that i failed completely at it] that i kind of betrayed the people that i told i wouldnt do it until i was married.

and now my boyfriend knows that i sort of regret it. and i think he feels like i wish i hadnt done it. and i dont. im just mad at myself for breaking my promises. and now i feel like its going to change what we have.

and im not sure what to say to him. so... what do i tell him? i dont want to dissapoint him or make him feel like its his fault.

and also... he keeps saying hes sorry eventhough he didnt do anything wrong. its my fault that i feel this way. and he thinks that its not ok that we did it because i kind of regret it. and i keep telling him that its ok; but he wont believe it.

what do i do?? T_T

Answer 1

its nobody else's business when you loose your virginity... I mean, it is YOUR virginity to loose not theirs. And if you love him, then i dont see anything wrong with it. And he seems like he is a nice guy if he feels bad about you regreting it. So I think that you should just think about what you really think, and if you are glad that you did it, then there is NOTHING wrong with that.

Answer 2

You are feeling guilt after doing the deed. What's gone is gone. You did it, now no regrets. Be happy. You realize that things will never be the same. Don't worry about what other people will think. You will need to start seeing yourself with new eyes and understand that part of growing up is realizing that what worked for you five years ago may not work for you now. It's a part of growing up. You love this guy and that is when it is right, when you are sure and the guy is sure. No one ever said the first time is always going to be like the movies, most times it's awkward because it's YOUR FIRST TIME DOING IT. So no, you're not an expert, it's going to take time and practice and patience. I hope you are using safe sex methods, with the pill and the rubber every time.

Answer 3

The reason for all the social TABOO about premarital sex is that 1. Young girls are usually naive and easily taken advantage of, and 2. first sexual encounters are usually unprotected and therefore potentially resulting in:
A) Diseases that could last the last of your life.
B) Parenthood that could last the rest of your life (and if you have no commitment from the father, a burden on society and your family which generally get stuck paying the bill for that unsupported child. Society would much rather you just said "no".
C) Emotional damage, similar to the turmoil you're feeling now.
With that in mind, try to find out if you are indeed still as healthy as you were before (doctors are very discreet about these things), still as un-pregnant as before, and then, if you're fortunate enough to have a decent relationship with your parent(s), share with them what you've learned. They might tell you some rather shocking "secrets" of their own.

Answer 4

Well the part about failing at it is ridiculous. It takes many tries to find out what a couple likes and how to do it. So don't feel bad about that. I would just tell make it clear that he didn't do anything wrong, but you don't want to do it anymore. Just say that you think you should wait until your married. It sounds like he's not being a jerk and cares about you, so I'm sure he will understand. You'll get through it. Just be honest with each other, and TRUST each other. If you say he didnt do anything wrong, he should trust you, and vice versa.

Answer 5

Well at this point there is no going back. You do not say your age, I just hope you were smart enough to use protection then there would be a reason to regret what you did. Losing your virginity is a BIG step and you need to take a step back and figure out where you want to go from here. My suggestion is not to have sex again until you KNOW you are ready.

Answer 6

First of all many of us made the statement at one point and time in our lives that "I won't have sex until I'm married." Then we did and some felt regret and others didn't.

You can't blame yourself for failing in sex, it was your first time and who really explains what or how you're supposed to act/move, etc. If this was your boyfriends first time, maybe he was gentle because it was his first time. If he's done this before and didn't care how it felt for you then shame on him.

Your regret can be for the fact that you just weren't ready. I don't think it has anything about what you told other people.

Just remember to always use protection if you decide to have sex again.

Answer 7

Go back and think- what made you make this decision? How did you decide that it was okay to give your virginity to your boyfriend? Just think about that and be happy with your decision. Tell your boyfriend everything you wrote here. And make it clear that nothing is his fault. Say it a thousand times until he's sick of hearing it.

Answer 8

Take a deep breath, and dont' worry about it.
Things happen and theres nothing you can do to change that, don't ruin the rest of your life for one thing you think is a mistake. It's not either one of your faults. If you want him to believe you just kiss him and tell him you love him. That always works on me.

Answer 9

First off make sure that you have some type of birth control. Every time from now on will be easier.(don't kid yourself) What is done is done. Don't let one decision that you some what regret lead to another decision that you may regret. It happens to everyone. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Answer 10

One thing's for sure, you will not change the reality, but i would try to forget that away, you're a couple so there's nothing wrong with that. If you broken your promise you have the right to feel sad about it, but you should get over it.