he's 16 and we've been together for 2 years.
how do i approach my brother(whom i live with) about this and what are some important things we should talk about before we get married?
2007-08-27 12:32:24 · 77 answers · asked by twiggy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I really hope you're not stupid enough to be serious..
2007-08-27 12:38:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
When you are 15yr you feel like you are old enough to make such big life changing decisions. it's not until you are a bit older that you realize just how young you were at that age. I'm going to be 22 when i get married next year, we have been together almost 5 yrs and i am worried that i may be getting married to young. I see the statistics for divorce rates with young marriages and it's terrifying! i think it is better to be aware, and to not go into marriage blinded by love. If you really think that it is the right time for you then no matter what anyone says, you will not change your mind. just make sure that you are aware of the higher risk you are taking. talk to your family about the idea of people getting married at a young age. this should help you to start to get how they would feel about the situation. after saying all this i would probably tell you to wait, have a long engagement and have fun while you are still young. Life is to short, take time to enjoy every part. once your grown up there is no going back!
2007-08-27 12:55:10 · answer #2 · answered by vanilla e 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust me- I have been in your shoes!
I met my current fiance when I was 15 almost 16, and I am now 21. We're getting married in December. If he had asked me at your age, and my parents agreed, I would've married him then. I was a very mature girl for my age, and we obviously loved (still love) each other, because we're still together.
However, since he didn't ask me then, looking back, I'm glad that DIDN'T happen. Because even though we loved each other, all of that pressure at that time would have been too much. We wouldn't have been financially stable, and we wouldn't have discussed major issues that I believe every couple should talk about before marriage.
Those issues are: Communication, expectations of each other, sex, money/budgeting, work/school balance, children, parenting. There's more but these are the most important. Sometimes people go into marriage having all these expectations, and the other person thinks the opposite, and then they don't talk about it and get married, and then there's trouble. Would you stay home if you had children? Would you both work fulltime? Who handles the money, and what takes priority in the budget? Rent or food? Sometimes, it comes down to that.
Again, I will stress that from my own experiences I think you should wait. There's no rush now! It can strengthen your relationship if you wait. There may be things you don't know about each other- or don't anticipate happening to you.
2007-08-27 12:46:13 · answer #3 · answered by BlackDahlia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
15 might be a bit young to get married (and not legal without parent/legal guardian consent)
I would get engaged for now if you are really looking for the commitment. You might even move in together, but take some time. At least this way if things don't work out you don't have to deal with a messy divorce. I was with my now husband for 6 years before we got married and we couldn't be happier. (we were 23)
We waited to graudate from high school and then from college to make sure we could afford ($$) to have the wedding we wanted and the life we'd be comfortable in. (I.E. not living with family!)
If you are determined to go through with this here are some things you should think about or discuss with your boyfriend...
~Finances...(how are you going to pay your bills, care for a house, get to and from work)
~Living arrangements
~Children (how many do you want, when)
~Child Rearing (I know it's a long way off, but you'll find if you have very different feelings about how to raise a family this will cause lots of problems)
~Spirituality (are you going to attend church, what denomination {if any}, which church specifically)
2007-08-27 17:16:17 · answer #4 · answered by newlywed&luvin'it 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh dear! take some more time to think about it, its definitely not to young to get married at 15 and don't know what is the US law on that one, I should think it will be ok as long as you get an adult consent signed. Guess what there are a lot of younger people that act more mature than older ones, lets say age 15 vs. age 27. ive seen it all, age doesnt matter but you should give it some good thought, wait a little more, yea get engaged, stay committed, finish school, go to college, get a career. If by the end of it all and you guys still not together then you know what it would have been like. Patience is virtue, don't rush too much, its your decision, no one knows what you are in, only you, so know what you want but think so more. You're not too young but think hard.
2007-08-27 14:18:49 · answer #5 · answered by Angel_la_hollywood 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
15 is WAY to young to get married. I understand that you love each other and that you have already been together for two years, but please believe me when I tell you to wait.
If your love is strong enough to sustain a marriage, it is strong enough to wait 3 more years.
You have so much more to experience in life before you decide to take on a life long committment to your boyfriend and you deserve to have the freedom that every other teen your age has. I'm not saying that you should not get married, I am just saying that you should not get married right now.
You have so many other things to think about at your age...you don't want to have to worry about being a wife right now. You are only young once.....enjoy it to the fullest extent while you have the chance!!
If your love is true and you two are truley meant to be, then you will get married someday, but today, is not the day.
Best of luck to you and your bf.
2007-08-27 12:46:13 · answer #6 · answered by endo_chic 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, 15 is WAY too young to bet married!!! You should finish high school before you get married. Getting married that early can totally change your life, and possibly not for the better. Wait at least until you're 18. If you are really meant to get married, then your relationship will last until you turn eighteen.
2007-08-27 13:15:12 · answer #7 · answered by egyptiandancer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be rare if a 15 yrs old had seen it all..because a lot of things, others would not or could not have told you until you experienced it..
There could be a lot of responsibilities to take care of..that could cause a lot of stress if things were not going well..if you have to go through so much just to be togeter..probably not a lot of people would like to do that..if the both of you are willing to sarifice to each other and could constantly love and do things for each other no matter how difficult and how hard it is..then that will not be a drag..
It could be too young, when I was at that age..I was definately far from ready...not even now..
Good question though...
2007-08-29 05:28:52 · answer #8 · answered by - 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not only do I and dozens of folks at this board think 15 is too young to get married, the law agrees. Secondly, since you're thinking about getting married, I can assume you've completed your education, are established in your career, can afford to buy a home or at least rent an apartment? No? I suggest working on your education, and not even thinking about marriage until you're 21.
2007-08-27 13:43:31 · answer #9 · answered by Ms. X 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are a twit, and if you think you can start your lives off this young you are dead wrong.
Married after two years? You haven't even gone to college, and what job do you have? You work at the local mcdonalds so you can have cash to spend.
You want a family? How are you going to support your family? with the wage you make working at Mcdonalds, or will you two live at your mommy and daddy's place thinking you two are independent when you really aren't.
Get a reality check...When you are out of college or university and finally make decent money to support yourself and a family. You are not even mature enough...
2007-08-27 12:41:59 · answer #10 · answered by drunken_monkey1988 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I really think you are too young to get married. Some states will let you get married that young if you have parental permission and/or if you're pregnant, but that's still young. Yes, you've been together for awhile, but you also need time to start a career, finish school, and find out more about yourself.
2007-08-27 12:38:31 · answer #11 · answered by Karen 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋