Ahhhh! Anyone else flipping out?

Question

Our wedding is in less than 2 months...My fiance refuses to understand the time crunch we are under. We have no tuxes, no rings, no ceremony format agreed upon. We have 4 hotel reservations for the honeymoon because we can't decide which one we want. He is driving me nuts! Absoultely crazy! And we have totally blown our budget to pieces.

On top of that I work a crazy job in Manhattan, and I will be traveling for work every single week up until the wedding. California, Ohio, Arizona, Illinois....AHHHH! Not to mention we are planning our wedding in our hometown, which is 600 miles away. When I am I going to do all of this?

I think I am going to loose it! I am considering jumping on the next train to who-knows-where!!! Any other brides that are close to wedding day flipping out like I am?.... I don't know if I am going to make it!

Answer 1

OK, this is your first time to do this--I do it on a regular basis, as a certified wedding planner--and no one laughs at me! After 23 years, I know every hotel manager, room captain, florist and photographer in our area, not to mention formal wear owners, limo people and the beat goes on.

My job is to get the bride and family organized and get things done in an orderly manner--including letting both families, maids, groomsmen, and best man know what they can do as their part. Getting the invites out in a timely manner and helping the family get the things they need for the best price--and NO, people like me don't get kick backs--we get paid a fair rate and service providers vie for me to get my clients to come to them.

We are often on site to make sure that all decorations, the cake, table set-up, etc. is done and on schedule and that the reception goes off smoothly. After all of these years, the one thing my brides tell me is how glad they were that they secured my services so that all of the crazy making details were taken off of them so that they could enjoy the process and the reception.

As for the poor fiance', they hardly ever have a clue--they haven't grown up dreaming of that Cinderella day when they get married and that there will be pink rose buds and orchids on every table---and so on. They just know that they are supposed to do what they are told--so--get a planner, it will be WORTH the money--we have staff, we know what to do and we can be the bad guy if needed to prod someone into doing what they need to do. Believe me, a weight will be lifted off of your shoulders. My service even provides for picking up guests arriving at the airport, gift baskets to be delivered to hotels, favors to be made, cutting the cake at the reception....etc.

So, quit picking on your fiance'--he isn't refusing to understand, he just doesn't understand what the big deal is because he thinks a tuxedo is a tuxedo and that it shouldn't matter when he picks one because he won't need it until the day of the wedding. Forgive him for not knowing that tuxedos come in styles and have to be reserved in advance so that you know he will have one on your special day--just pick a style out and get your planner to get him there and his groomsmen, for their measurements.

There are some excellent planners in your city--get going!

Good luck!

Answer 2

Oh yes. I feel your pain. I practically did everything for my wedding and was working a demanding job in television in nyc. I was such a nut job and spent so much money because I just kept paying the first price that was quoted to me to get it over with. One thing to remember, some things can wait till after the wedding, I didn't move my stuff into our new apartment until after the wedding. We had a mini honeymoon at a hotel near our reception but the real honeymoon was one month later. Also, deligate to your friends, my bf handled my cake tasting and cake decor.
I literally had our ceremony format 4 days before the wedding for the judge. There was no rehersal dinner just a line drawing that I emailed to our friends. Your going to be fine:) I do think you should request time off even if it's unpaid for your own sanity. That's what I did, and I just didn't care because your work will keep giving you projects regardless. I had major deadlines for my job and would work all night, they didn't care that I was getting married. P.S. I left that job:)

Keep making lists and talk to friends and family, my husband will never be a planner. He's good with writing out the checks.

Those wedding planners really make me laugh!! Do this 6 mths before the wedding or invites 4 months before.

I planned my entire wedding in 4 mths, the invite were delivered 2 weeks before. But everyone knew we had last minute planning, but it was wonderful!!!!!! And your will too. Just stay calm and don't take it out on your husband.

Answer 3

Two months? That's plenty of time. I met my wife-to-be in March. I proposed in July after first getting her father's permission to propose. We were married in August with an invitation list of about 100. Yes, that was all in the same year. We have two grown children and are still married. Translation: relax and you will be able to get a lot done if you devote your attention to what needs attention. First, redo EVERYTHING to stay within the budget. For every item that goes over, find something of the same cost to cut. That quickly establishes priorities. Secondly, for the honeymoon site, you are to choose the second one on the list. I have no idea where that is but I have now made that choice for you and you can go on to the next thing. Third, for seating, put feuding parties in the family at the same table. They have to be polite for the honor of the bride and groom. If they are at separate tables, they can have stage whispers about each other that can be heard in the next county. We did that and many of the couples did not even recognize each other because they had refused to appear at the same event for many years. Some could not even remember the cause of the fight and had a grand afternoon together. As for the ceremony format, I came very close to firing the clergy about ten minutes before the wedding and conducting it myself. He came with the hall and he wanted a much less religious service than what we wanted. He saw the light quickly (technically, I am allowed to conduct my own marriage but not someone else's so my point of view held merit). At the wedding, no matter what you do in advance, something will go wrong. You have no control over it. Keep going and may that be the worst that ever happens to you. Congratulations.

Answer 4

I'll make my answer short and sweet and simple for ya.

We planned and carried out a destination wedding for our eldest daughter last year. It was crazy, but it turned out great!

A couple of tips:

1. Put down in writing what precisely you want your fiance to do, and give him a schedule, for example, make a reservation for him and the groomsmen to go reserve/be fit for their tuxes, etc.

2. Delegate!!!! People always say, "Please let me know if you need any help!" Well, girl, now is the time! Your bridesmaids should be willing to do some of your planning and working for you. Ask your aunts, cousins, anyone who is going to be at the wedding to take over something and take care of it for you.

3. Last but not least, scale it down if you can. No matter what, you are going to have a fantastic day! Your wedding day, after all, is the birth of your marriage. Even if it is sweet and simple, it will be perfect.

Have fun and best of luck to you and your new hubbie-to-be!

Answer 5

Are you sure you want to get married under those conditions? Get some help. You are not the super woman that can do everything. Shift the duties to other people and then let them take care of things. This should be the best day of your life. Not the day to have a nevious breakdown. You are going to be nuts by that day if you don't let others do things for you. I guess I wasn't much help. Anyway. Good luck and God Bless You.

Answer 6

This should be a clue as to whether or not you two should get married. If he's not acting responsible and helping out, especially at this point, then what does that say about your future?? Are you ALWAYS going to be left taking care of EVERYTHING? I know it's usually the girls job, but if you're asking for help, he should offer his assistance. Budgeting is really important. It's something that you both should be working on, because when you have a house and kids, etc, you're going to have to make sacrifices. Please have a serious talk with him-

This isn't just about your wedding, it's about your relationship. He needs to act responsible and help you get things together, now and for the rest of your life. If he blows you off, call the wedding off. This is serious and you need to get it worked out.

Answer 7

I thought it was great. But for us Orton fans we should probably remember how Randy destroyed John Cena all the way up until Summerslam and then Cena turned into a superhero and kicked out of the RKO and beat Orton. I just want Randy to have the strap for a while and then let HHH get it, because HHH is the **** too, so either way i'll be happy.

Answer 8

You will make it!

He has to get his tux...you have no responsibility ofr that whatsoever, so just cross that off your list. He will get one. Pick the ceremony you like, and tell him that's the one, and make an agreement with your fiance to get your rings picked out before you leave town next. End of story. Good luck. Breathe!

Answer 9

The best thing you can do is hire a wedding planner in your area. Planning a wedding is very overwhelming and you NEED HELP. I tried planning my wedding with just my husband, myself and my parents and it was to much. Hiring a wedding planner to take care of all your problems is the best thing you can do. She or he will take care of everything and they are worth every penny.

Answer 10

Don´t rent a tux-take the money you would spend towards a tux and buy your fiance a new suit-a Hugo Boss suit is awesome.