My sister spanks her children! Should i call the police?

Question

Last week, i was visiting my sister and her family. She has 2 children, a 7-year-old girl and a 5-year-old boy. The day after i got there, her children started fighting with eachother, so she spanked them! I didn't see the spanking, but i heard it and she gave them each about 15 spankings! Afterwards i confronted her about it and told her it was barbaric and primitive to spank, and that it's a terribly violent thing to do. I also told her that she's teaching her children to be violent, and i pointed out that spanking is sexual abuse. She got really mad at me and told me it's none of my business how she raises her children! Excuse me, but when children are beaten like that, it is the responsibility of bystanders to put a stop to the abuse and call C.P.S. I don't want to get my sister in trouble, but i don't want my nephew and niece to be beaten and sexually assaulted, either! Do you think i should call C.P.S.?

I heard that spanking is sexual abuse from nospank, which is an anti-spanking website. It's an excellent resource for those of us who do not advocate the beating of children. And no, i don't have any children but i've read parenting books written by experts, and i've visited anti-spanking websites created by parenting experts such as Jordan Riak and Chris Dugan, so i think i know quite a bit about parenting. I also happen to know that there's plenty of reasearch that has shown spanking to be harmful to children, and i'm sick of ordianary parents who think they know better than experts and researchers. I read those books and visit those websites because i lead a small anti-spanking organization in my area.

Yes, i do mean 15 whacks by "15 spankings".

Answer 1

You're obviously one of thoses crackpot anti-spanking fanatics who thinks spanking is abuse. No, you should absolutely not call the police! If you live in the U.S., spanking is perfectly legal anyway and the police woudn't do anything about it, and you'd be wasting their time by calling them over something so minor. Spanking is only considered child abuse if it leaves bruises or marks. And i'm so sick of hearing how spanking is sexual abuse from the anti-spanking fanatics! Spanking is not sexual abuse, and to say that it is is very disrespectful to people who have been sexually abused.
Why don't you get spanked, then really get sexually assaulted, and see which you think is worse?!?

And by the way, do you really think your nephew and niece would be better off in foster care? Being removed from their home, never to see their parents again, would be much worse than being spanked. And then there's always the chance they could be placed with abusive foster parents. I'm sick of you anti-spanking fanatics who think children would be better off in foster care than with parents who spank.
And if you think spanking is child abuse, keep in mind that there are children who are being beaten black and blue, starved, or sexually assaulted by their parents! People like you seem to think that the police and C.P.S. should tend to sore bottoms rather than broken bones.

And by the way, just because you've read parenting books and visited websites created by anti-spanking fanatics who area as raving mad as you are, doesn't make you a parenting expert.

Answer 2

Number 1 spanking is not sexually abusing a child. I was spanked as a child and it is used for corrective purposes. She shouldn't have spanked them 15 times, but sometimes kids need a spanking now and again. C.P.S used to say that spankings weren't allowed, but then discovered that spanking is not all bad. Part of the problem today is that parents are afraid to stand up to their kids, and give them a little tap. There does come an age where spanking doesn't work on a child, and time outs don't work...so as a parent you have to find what works. The question I would ask you, are you a parent?

Answer 3

I'm with Kayla report it to the police and let them handle it. They will probably never stop because they have done this from day one. BUT someone needs to step in and make sure the kids are not hurt bad. My mother beat me with a 2x2 board as a child up until age 12 at which time I turned her in. The neighbors heard my screaming but never did anything. So I took it upon myself to call the Division of Family Services to come out to the apt. People usually don't want to get involved but they really should. I had bad bruising on my legs and butt. I couldn't dress down for PE Class due to being embarrassed. So I took an F instead. This is what can happen to a child.

Answer 4

I do not get were spanking became sexual abuse. If it really was 15 times each that is really excessive and perhaps you should suggest to your sister that she get some councling. At this point if you think that aside from that she is a good mother and providing a good home for her children I would not call CPS her children will be taken away and put in foster care and it could take her years to get them back... all because you disagree with her parenting style.

Answer 5

People like you are the reason kids don't respect their parents and don't take responsibility for themselves. If a kid does something bad and just gets a "go to your room and think about what you've done for 5 minutes," then all they think is "I totally got away with that." SOMETIMES a spanking is necessary. Look at how many people there are in the U.S. that are over 25. Most of us are ok, and I guarantee you most of us got spanked every now and then.

Answer 6

I really think you should mind your business. How she raises her children is her business. If they are not put in the hospital, bleeding or dead, they are fine. It is always the outsider looking in. If these kids grow up to be criminals then everyone would look at her and say she never raised them with respect, but as soon as she disciplines they still have something to say. I think if parents spank there kids more often you would have these disrespectful, pregnant, jail bird, drop outs that you see today.

Answer 7

Wow, well I don't know where you heard spanking is sexual abuse, I for one have never heard that. Do you have kids of your own. You sound like my sister who has no kids and has no idea how to raise them but likes to drop her 2 cents in anyways. Maybe 15 spankings is a little harsh but everyone punishes their kids in a different way. Stay ouy of it or you'll lose you sister and niece and nephew.

Answer 8

Climb down from your pedestal, turn off your TV and face reality. To categorize spanking as sexually abuse, is just wrong and slap in the face to anyone that has been sexually abused. It is a parents right to discipline there children, not abuse but discipline. Spanking teaching violence- play a video game, watch TV. listen to politics, most things promote some sort of violence, it's our jobs as parents to teach our children how to deal with that.
I bet you don't have children do you? and if you do, 5 or 6 years from now see whose children are better behaved yours or your sisters.

Answer 9

I was spanked as a child when I misbehaved and I turned out just fine. It seems to me that when parents stopped spanking their kids and became afraid to discipline their children we created a generation of spoiled brats who believe they are entitled to the world without having to earn a thing. They disrespect adults and find it funny. I say thank god there are still parents willing to be parents. Stay out of it. Sexual assault what a load of bullshit! And by the way CPS is the same agency that tore my 4 year old god daughter out of her grandmothers house to give to her known pedophile piece of crap father. That organization is a joke!!!!

Answer 10

Honey, baby , sugar pie... You MUST not have children of your on!!! what you just said sounds crazy. do you know that if you don't discipline your children that eventually they will start to discipline you. Now you said the children were fighting correct. Now if she never disciplined her children for this then they would think that its OK to fight each other then it will escalate from there. another thing SEXUAL ABUSE are you nuts or just insane!!! I doubt very ,very , very seriously if in ANY way she sexually assaulted her children. your sister is right You have NO right to tell her HOW raise her children. There is no possible way you have kids and if you do tell me E-mail me back and tell me if i am wrong about anything that i just stated.... come on if they are not bruised then she has every right. and plus you don't know probably before you got there she had to keep talking to them about the same situation.

You know what when you have some kids then you can talk about this . those researchers don't know nothin bout nobody kids. and researchers just research things I bet you
$ 100,000,000 that there results will come out different every time because every body's child is different. AND you don't no jack squat about parenting ... just cuz you read some books CHILD PLEASE !!!

YOU KNOW NOTHIN ..... AND BABY YOU CANT RAISE YOUR CHILD BASED ON NO BOOK . that's whats wrong with the kids today to many of the parents raising them by the book . time out only going to work for Little while. grounding them only going to work for a little while what you need to do is GET SOME SENSE because right about now it's sounding like you have none.

THIS IS WHAT YOU SAID : I'm sick of ordinary parents who think they know better than experts and researchers

and for your info i doubt if any researcher know more about someones child than they do


BABY DO US ALL A FAVOR AND JUS... GO BUY YOU SUM SENSE .. OR SUM BRAINS NOW THAT IS WHAT YOU NEED TO RESEARCH !!! HOW TO GET YOU SUM SENSE