should a bridesmaid help pay for the shower if not attending?

Question

I thought that it was the maid of honors responsability until I was asked. But on top of that I cannot even attend.

Answer 1

I've never heard of bridesmaids being asked to pay for a shower. Usually it is one of the mothers or aunts or sisters or cousins that throw it, not friends or bridesmaids. You were asked to PAY or to help plan? If they asked you to pay, I would simpy tell them I'm sorry but I can't afford to help you financially but I'd be happy to help you plan it! That way since you can't attend, you can at least say you helped out.

Answer 2

I think the maid of honour is responsible but I would of thought the bridesmaids all chucked in to help. I also would of expected that the bridesmaids would be in attendance too. Surely if you had a prior engagement the maid of honour should have made the shower at a time when all could attend.

Answer 3

Wedding etiquette states that the bridesmaids AND the maid of honor usually host the shower. (It is NOT the maid of honor's sole responsibility.)

If all the other bridesmaids are chipping in, then I would suggest you should too. Even though you can't attend, the shower will still be given in honor of your friend who is getting married. A shower is a big expense you can't expect the maid of honor to pay for it all by herself.

If you financially can't afford it, then talk to the maid of honor about your situation maybe there is some other things you can do to assist even though you can't attend. I have been in weddings where everyone chipped in, I did even though I was out of state.

Answer 4

Hi. Wow there are so many different answers. Perhaps it depends on what part of the country you live as to what is appropriate. I'm not sure. Where I live, it is up to the person GIVING (throwing) the shower to pay for it. Sometimes it is an aunt of the bride, sometimes it is friends, etc. Lately, though, it has been the bridesmaids who give the showers - maybe something new. It surely is NOT solely the responsibility of the maid of honor. I would chip in even if you can't attend. Why can't you attend? Do you live in another part of the country? You should try to be there if at all possible.

Answer 5

I had no ideas bridesmaids were supposed to pay for a shower. Every bridal shower I have been to has been at someone's home and it was a potluck so nobody had any expenses. Usually the only expense is a congrats cake and the mother of the bride pays for that. If you are not going to the shower then you should'nt be responsible to fork over cash.

Answer 6

A shower is not properly a responsibility, as this would imply obligation. One is only OBLIGED to give a shower if one has previously agreed to do so. A shower may be properly given by any person not a family member who WISHES to so honor and benefit a special guest.

It is dishonest to offer an honor that carries obligations without making clear those obligations. I'm going to side with the bridesmaids on this sort of thing every time.

Answer 7

No, you shouldn't. It is the maid of honor's responsibility. Quite frankly, I'm sick and tired of people expecting people to buy things for them...or to throw showers or birthday parties and expecting everyone else to pay for it. If the maid of honor can't afford the bridal shower then don't have one, or she should just cut back on expenses....maybe the bride could help pay for it since she's the one that will be getting money and gifts. I think people have forgotten what marriage is all about and just get overwhelmed and go overboard with the showers and parties and receptions, etc....especially considering that most marriages will end in divorce within 5 years anyway.

Besides--- you'll have enough to pay for- you have to buy your dress, shoes, get your hair done for the wedding, etc. Don't let her bully you into paying a dime for the shower.

Answer 8

No. It's not the bridesmaid's responsibility to pay for a party for the bride, unless she chooses to do so. If you can't, you can't. No one can force you to pay for a party. It's not even the maid of honor's "responsibility" to throw a party. Good grief, the bride gets enough parties thrown her way -- why should girls who are already paying for a dress, shoes, and possibly transportation -- also have to throw the bride a party?

Don't feel guilty. Just say, "Sorry I won't be able to join in the party" and let it go. Some tacky person will probably sneer that you ought to have paid up, but you can't legislate bad manners.

Answer 9

"She instructed me that she ought to tell me to positioned on a rubbish bag and that i need to be delighted and do it with a grin." so which you knew what you have been stepping into once you agreed. "That replaced into the top of that verbal substitute." you will have saved speaking with the different bridesmaids. although I do think of that e mail is extra suited for making plans issues like that then texts. it incredibly is extra undemanding to locate the verbal substitute afterward, and you will additionally make one great message with a lot of into in it. "the undertaking this is troubling me, is that she did no longer touch any of the bridesmaids to make certain if the date replaced into ok, yet instructed me that not one of the different weekends interior the month might artwork for her sister (the bride's aunt). the shown fact that she did no longer attempt to touch any people says to me that she incredibly could no longer care much less if we've been in touch or attended in any respect." this is how I examine it, yet so a techniques as she knew, you all had stopped discussing the difficulty fullyyt, so somebody had to do something.

Answer 10

Well, if she's your friend you contribute what you can afford. This is a group effort, and everyone should help in some way. These weddings are really terrible, as far as, the rules. I was a bridesmaid 5x and I'll never want to be one again. The caddy behavior by the bridesmaids and who does what. One wedding they wanted us to buy a washer and dryer as a shower gift!!! I'm shocked by some of the responses here...