Is this really necessary?

Question

I received a call from my sons school today informing me my son was in an incident, OMG, i thought, what now?? The counselor then explained that he took another classmates pencil and was using it. OH! i thought, big deal. A couple of hours later, I received another call, this time from a police officer informing me of the SAME situation, this time they want to question my son!!!!!!!!!????????? What the hell! I told her NO! It turns out, it is called bullying! Last time I recalled, it was barrowing or teasing. Is this necessary?

Answer 1

Some schools have been placed in the awkward position where they need to enact a ZERO tolerance policy towards things like this... so, while you and I might see it as relatively "harmless" - the taking of another person's property just isn't right and shouldn't be encouraged.

If the school were to simply look the other way (like they have in the past) it leaves them open to liability charges in case something "bad" actually happens.

Yes... it's more of a hassle on your part as a parent to have to deal with this sort of thing. But the school isn't even allowed to punish your child anymore - YOU must take responsibility for that as a responsible adult & parent.

Answer 2

I'd say yes, it is necessary. While it is just a pencil, it sounds like your son was taking it away from that classmate as a form of intimidation. This could have been ongoing, but now that perhaps a teacher in the classroom noticed it the school wants to become more involved. I really can't think of any reason a child would purposely take someone else's pencil except to prove "look, I have control over you. I'm taking this and you won't stop me".

As for the police officers, perhaps your son was making threats.

The point is, you should be more open-minded. Try to consider the possibility that there's a greater issue at hand and MAYBE, just MAYBE, your son has some fault.

Also consider this, if the story was the other way around, and a your son's classmate was taking and using things from him, would you be OK with it? What if he was trying to intimidate your son too?

Answer 3

It sounds like you're either NOT telling the whole story, or the school hasn't told YOU the whole story. Bullying is a REPEATED offense. Borrowing requires having asked permission before taking something. Your son stole the pencil. While based on your version of the story, a call from a police officer is entirely out of the question, it's still pretty clear that you've got some work to do on your parenting skills if you don't think stealing and teasing are a big deal. Why would you want your kid to be "that guy?" Teach him some respect for others and demonstrate that respect yourself.

Answer 4

That has got to be the most ridiculous thing I have heard in a long time. A police officer?? Questioning your son about using another classmates pencil?? Totally NOT necessary at all!!! Maybe you could write a letter to the school board or something explaining how stupid this incident was.

Answer 5

Hi there. How old is your son and what grade is he in and what country and city do you live in? I would call a lawyer about this and see if you have a case. Tell the lawyer EXACTLY what happened and what the school said to you on the phone and about the police getting involved. Sounds like to me that you and your son are gonna have some extra money from this case. Also, I'd go TO the school board and DEMAND a meeting with the principal, the teacher,and the superintendent. Also, I'd call the police department and set up a meeting with the chief and let them know that they are WAY out of line and I would also call the local newspaper and the local t.v. station and tell them as well and to get them involved. So according to that school, ANY and EVERY child that has ever TOUCHED someone else's things or taken a piece of paper or even a crayon can be treated in this manner? I don't even think so. Handle your business, Mama,handle your business. You know what you need to do. Please e-mail me as to what happens with all of this. Good luck.

Answer 6

This is over the top. I would only think the police would be involved if your son hurt some one! This is very crazy.

Call the school and ask them why is it bullying if your son took another child's pencil. Then explain to them that they are over-reacting and they shouldn't have called the cops. Explain that you will be finding a new school for your son.

It will be best to take your son out of that school because soon they'll be calling the cops because he called out in class. I'd also call the super indendent and let him know what they did. The teacher could get fired, but that is a good thing. I'd write to the mayor and ask him about it. Chances are he'll agree with you.

Tell your son it's not okay to take pencils, but it's not his fault he's being pulled from the school. This is very crazy.

I hope you and your child will have a very good school year from now on.
~Taylor

Answer 7

No the whole situation was a waste of the tax-payers money. All this over the unauthorized use of a pencil? All the school had to do was remind your son that he needs to ask before using another person's things. The unauthorized use of a pencil is not bullying unless your son punched the child or threatened him or her into giving the pencil up. Strange that now what is deemed to bullying is so open ended. Stranger still is that my grade school and middle school allowed a bully to push people down the stairs and continually beat people up with no repercussions at all until the bully was kicked out in the seventh grade for poor grades. I think that schools do need to weed out bullying, but what your son did is not it.

Answer 8

A. Why doesn't your son have his own pencil?

B. If he has his own pencil and took another kid's, he was in the wrong.

C. More than likely, the school is being tough with him because he has a history of this behavior. If I were you, I'd be asking why they haven't kept you informed better.

D. Teasing *IS* bullying. If you've taught your kid it's okay to tease, you've probably taught him it's okay to be a bully. If so, you have a responsibility to retrain him and get it right.

E. It's not BORROWING if your son didn't ASK politely and get a yes. Nor is it BORROWING if he had a pencil and he was just harrassing another kid.

F. Are you sure it was a police officer and not a school officer? Because the police don't have time to deal with trifling "he took my pencil" situations. They wouldn't have called the police unless he was threatening to stab the other kid with his own pencil or something like that.

G. Get yourself down to the school and get the facts.

Answer 9

ok my own opinion not sure how old your son is but if little this is somwhat understandable not a poliece officer but the school calling now if your child is older than id say 7 this a little over the top i understand the whole zero tolorance policy but i would just call the school or go down there ask excatlly what happened and then go from there if it just the unauthorized use of a writing utensil then i would tell the school sorry have your child apoige to the other student and the school and then take my child home and deal with it there if you talk to the school ad maybe it is an ongoing problem then same deal you apolgize and your child and take the problem home and fix it.

Answer 10

Jeffrey Dahmer probably started out just stealing a pencil. Seriously. Come on. This is an entirely different age. 50 years ago did kids bring guns to school? Unlikely. As a bullied child I know and hated how it felt growing up feeling horrible all the time and never having anyone defend me. That's not the issue though.

I don't think we were provided with enough information to form a logical conclusion. You didn't state what your son's reaction to the calls was...Did he steal the pencil from another child? Had he asked to borrow it? Moreover, why didn't your son have his OWN pencil to use?