When your heart hurts to the point of numbness, What do you do to lighten it?

Question

It's all ashes for me today, and it looks like a lot more of it to come. When you feel like that what do you do?

Some good ideas and nice thoughts, thanks.

Doing much better today. I used much of what you all suggested. I got out, called a friend, wrote, and whatched the new moon come up.

Thank you for your thoughtful answers.

Answer 1

Listen to overly cheerful teeny-bopper music, such as Aqua or S Club 7. Yes, it is somewhat irritating and disgustingly commercial, but it usually works.

It is often worth remembering that the wheel keeps on turning - sometimes life is good and you are up, sometimes life is bad and you are down, but the wheel keeps turning and so eventually it will be good again. So, you might also want to listen to Massive Attack's "Hymn of the Big Wheel" - which is not at all annoyingly boppy and is in fact, rather a nice song.

Answer 2

Thats a good question, i lost my Dad two weeks ago and yesterday would have been his 56th Birthday. He was way too young and i was not prepared for this. He had a massive Heart Attack and from the small amount of blood that came from his Head when he hit the ground it means he was Dead before he hit. So thats a good thing i think no suffering. These past two weeks have been surreal to me, there are times that i weep like a little child. There are other times when i feel almost nothing and i wonder if i am that cold of a person to feel nothing. What i have been doing to help ease the my Mental discomfort is probably not the best thing. I have been getting drunk and stoned even during Work. I know this is not the best thing but its all i know to do. So i am in the same boat as you my friend. I am sorry if i cant answer this question properly. I am still trying to figure out how to feel alive again. Other than getting wasted, it seems that being around other people and keeping busy helps some. When i am alone is when i think about my Dad and when i think about his Blood there on the pavement. Im sure most people will say let God help you. I am not one of those as i find no comfort in lying to myself. I really hope that you start to feel better as i understand the feeling of painful numbness. If you need someone to talk to you can Email me.

Answer 3

Just get the train or something to visit her. Or maybe learn to drive? Me and my boyfriend met when we were 18 (literally my bday lol) and live about 50 minutes car journey and about 1 hr and a half by public transport. We completely relied on public transport for the first 6 months before we bought a car. We have an amazing relationship so it can work out. We managed to see each toehr about 2x a week, more like 4 towards a year (sleep overs etc). Now we're living 8000 miles apart, about a 10 hour plane ride costing £500-600 for the next year... try that for distance lol

Answer 4

I took a minute to read your profile, and I hate to make assumptions, but you sound like a philosopher, so I think your avatar choice was not random. I follow the teachings of Christ to the best of my ability, but I have no preaching for you, as you did not ask for one. I am able to take great comfort in my faith, but unless you make that choice, I will try give you some encouragement with other words. It is only when we have experienced the deep valley of despair that we can appreciate the beauty of standing on a mountain top, as every thing is relative to our own experience in this life. Sometimes the good to come is that you will be able to share with a fellow human being how you made it through the valley. Your words may bring someone in your near future back from that darkness that most of us have suffered, if we live long enough. I have an open email, and a willing ear. May you find peace.

Answer 5

Well I wanted to give you a smart-alecky answer but I cant because IKNOW how you feel!! Not trying to patronize you. I feel that way most days. I have a lot of things in my head that I dont want in my head. Things that have happened to me-etc. You can drink or pray. Ive tried drinking it away so I suggest the latter. Pray a Rosary. Always works for me..but I need to remember that more often myself. Even if youre not Catholic-learn the Rosary. Mary loves everybody and she CAN hear you! She'll bring you closer to Christ. I dont feel like I have much of an "earthly" family so I have to believe in some kind of faith based thing. I HAVE to believe that I have a heavenly Mother. I dont have very much else. Hope you feel better. I feel kind of embarrassed talking about religious stuff. But yesterdays Mass Psalm was -":Go out and tell the good news".

Answer 6

Sorry to hear that. Hope it's nothing serious.

I try a couple of things usually. First, I take a step outside of myself, try and look at my situation or predicament as an observer, not as a participant, and try to decide on a way out that way (it often seems easier to help others with their problems rather than solve our own, I think because it's easier to be objective and logical when we're not participating in the anguish that can be part of the "solution").

And, honestly, if that doesn't work, I pray. Probably not your thing, I know, but I have faith an answer will be given to me. I then ask that I be given the wisdom and patience to recognize when that answer is presented to me, as well as the humility to accept whatever must be done.

Hope things get better, and soon.

Answer 7

My heart often hurts because it has been broken beyond repair. I don't know how to lighten it. I used to use alcohol, drugs, and sex to erase my pain for even a short time. Those days are long gone.

Today I try to get out of the house. Go swimming or visit a friend. Sometimes it helps.

I even sit down and write about it now, Something I could never have done when I was blocking the pain with bourbon.

Answer 8

I'm supposing you are of the atheist/agnostic persuasion, so am answering with a few ideas for someone in that state.

- Get some really good comedies to watch (I used to like Seinfeld)
- Cry (this is hard for a bloke, but I think it works as when one cries it seems to adjust the body's chemicals; it probably turns on natural pain killers)
- make some plans for something very interesting you intend to do
- get involved in singing/dancing. The behaviour can induce good moods.
- get an obsessional interest in something for leisure time

Answer 9

Go do something fun and/or relaxing. If you're into photography, go shoot some film. If you're into sports, round up some people and start a game. If you're into reading, run out to a bookstore and find yourself a good new book. If you're an avid shopper, give yourself a budget and go splurge. Just something to get your mind off your worries for a little while. A few hours' distraction will help you deal with things better when you have to come back to earth.

Answer 10

That is something to ponder on. I hope that word is right. It felt right. My children have hurt me to the core of my being, leaving my heart empty. I now have a corner, 2 corners in my room where I can sit and feel safe. I'm not too good at meditating but I do become aware of my breathing. If I had a hobbie I would create something that is pleasing to the eye.
I tell myself, "this too shall pass". I have a book, "1001 pearls of wisdom" . that has quotes in it that help in many areas.

"Deep in their hearts, most people wish to be understood and cherished."
"Happiness is not a feeling, it is a choice."