My mom called me a lot of really bad names this morning. How do I react?

Question

This was our biggest fight ever. She cursed at me and called me a little hoar and f-in little "female dog".
I tried to stay calm but I couldnt stop myself from yelling and screaming back. the fight was about my car and driving boys around. I have a lot of male friends and she doesnt approve she wants me to have girl friends only except my boyfriend who she doesn't really like either but she likes him better than my guy friends. dad wasnt home for this fight but I feel like telling him everything. he knows we fight and it makes him very upset but what can he do? its between mom and me, I am starting to hate her. my bf wants me to move in. help.

the fight was about me driving some guy friends around town and being late to pick mom up.

Answer 1

Well I can see why she's mad -- you were late picking her up --and the reason? You were driving boys. That was irresponsible on your part. You should be very sorry. See her side of the picture. Of course, she was really harsh in calling you bad names and such and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive her for it.

I hope that both of you can calm down. You were at fault for being late so promise yourself never to be late to pick her up. I think that is what upset her most besides the driving the boys. If you want to be in good terms with her, the very least you should have done was act responsible. You can't really blame her for getting mad but I do hope she regrets having to call you really names.

She might not like you having guy friends because they could be taking advantage of you and it isn't really proper because you have already have a boyfriend. It makes it look like you have many boyfriends. Next time, you should ask them for gas money or stay clear away from them or don't let your mom see you with a bunch of guys. You should be making more girlfriends instead like you're mom said because some guys do advantage of women and she could be afraid of that.

Don't hate your mom. I'm sure she wants only the best for you and she hates to see you with a bunch of guys who are just playing with you. If she was your age, she probably wouldn't be doing those things because she considers it bad or wrong.

When she calms down, tell her you're sorry for being late to pick her up (the prime reason she's upset). Don't mention the boys unless she mentions it. You need to take it one step at a time to learn how to communicate with her. If she then mentions the boys, tell her that they're only your friends, you're not sleeping with them. I know it will be hard but try to be calm and let her know it hurts you for making false accusations.

Answer 2

About the mommy: Name: Samantha Age: 22 Is this the first child?: yes About the daddy: Name: Robbie Age: 21 Is this the first child?: yes Finding out: What day did you find out you were pregnant?: dec 26th How did you feel when you found out?: Happy, scared, shocked, freaked out and ecstatic all at the same time Who was with you?: husband How did the daddy react?: He some how knew I was prego before I did, he convinced me to take a test, he was very happy Telling the grandparents: How did you parents react?: so excited! This will be the first grandbaby! How did his parents react?: shocked and happy! First grandbaby for them too How often do they call to check on you?: i talk to my parents daily, not because of the pregnancy though. About the pregnancy: When is your due date?: Sept 7th, 2009 How far along are you right now?: 32 weeks and 4 days Have you had an ultra sound?: yes, multiple Have you heard the heartbeat?: yes, everytime i go in! Sex of the baby: it's a girl! What do you want. Boy or Girl?: we didnt care, but we both knew right away it would be a girl! Do you know what you are having now?: yes Are you happy with what you are having?: very About the birth: Who is going to be with you?: husband and Mother Are you going to video tape it?: no, pictures though Natural or medicated?: shooting for natural, but you never know! Do you think you will have a c-section?: not at this point it's not planned, again you never know though! I hope not! Do you think you will cry when you first hold your baby?: yes Do you know what you will say to the baby when you first hold it?: i love you! Are you scared about the labor?: getting nervous! Names: Do you have a name picked out?: yes. Mia Jane Is your baby going to be named after anyone?: middle name is after my mothers Did the daddy help pick the name?: he picked out the first name and i loved it and i picked out the middle name Other random question: Where was your baby concieved?: At home lol Have you felt the baby move?: yes What was your first symptom?: terrible morning sickness for the first months Will you have godparents?: yes Who will be the god mommy?: my cousin Who will be the god daddy?: husbands best friend What is the babys room theme?: sugarplum Are you ready to be a mommy?: so ready and so excited! What do you think the baby will be a "daddys girl/boy" or a "mommys girl/boy"?: not sure! lol we'll see!

Answer 3

first things first.

you live with mom. hence you should try to follow some of her rules at least.

you promised to pick her up. hence you had a responsibilty to her and you blew it. her being older would cause her anxiety and was probably hard for her to "be okay" with it.

How would you like to wait an hour for your friends to pick u up after working a hard day or whatever.

guy friends. hence guy friends? okay, I had those two and they were really good people. however, you have a boyfriend and he is okay with this?

hon, most girls your age, having "guy friends" have more fun then they are letting on. You are not just driving them around, you are probably partying up a storm in a vehicle that can actually kill someone during your great escapades.

you mom, only loves you and that is her problem, she is probably up to her neck in worry for you and what you will turn into as an adult. If you play too long you loose you life, ever hear that song?

anyway, if you can't settle down to what she feels is appropriate for her household, then move out. depending on your age. if you are old enough to move you should.

no causing her more harm just because you can only think of yourself. and you won't understand what I mean until you have a few kids of your own and you are a fews years older.

Answer 4

Mothers can be interesting to say the least honey. My mother and I fought like cats and dogs then I moved out and we slowly got closer. Time will tell, when it comes to parental relationships in the long run. Right now however with not knowing your age and all that good stuff because that does pose a serious factor in what your options are. I would talk to your father about it because she shouldn't be saying such things no matter what the situation may have been.
I hope your relationships grows and becomes a better one as time goes on. Good Luck honey.

Answer 5

You driving guy friends around does get you a bad reputation. Your bf wants you to move in with him? What, he doesn't love you enough to marry you first? No way in the world would I move in with a guy who didn't love me enough to marry him first. Who pays for the car, the gas, etc that you drive these friends around with? Do your parents? If so, they have reason to be upset. Are you sure this is just about ONE incident, or have these types of things been happening for a while, and your mom finally reached her boiling point? Everyone has one, so maybe the namecalling, was kind of called for. Also, why aren't these guys getting their own wheels or paying you for the gas used? Why are they using you? I think your mom doesn't like the guy friends because they are using you, and you don't see that.

Answer 6

Well before you move in with your boyfriend, which by the way may not be able to happen if you are under age, talk with your dad. It may upset him, but it'll hurt him more if you just up and leave. Not to mention that I am sure your mom doesn't want you out of the house. When I was a teenager my mom and I argued alot, over big things little things and everything else! It's part of growing up, your mom wants you to be this perfect little girl and you want to just go out and try the world, give it time, I'm sure things will get better. But please before you do anything rash, talk to your dad. He'll know what to do.

Answer 7

Need more info. Your age; who legally owns the car; do you have at least a parttime job; still in school? Re your Q re your bf wanting you to move in with him--you'll just be fighting with him when he objects to your driving so many guys around, too! Until you are financially independent, you have to live under somebody else's rules and answer to their likes and dislikes! Certainly it's not right to be calling you such terrible names. When your mother is angry, don't argue, defend or escalate her into such a fight!! Just bite you tongue and start saving for your own place--AND car, if that car belongs to your folks.

Answer 8

Try writing her a letter from your heart and explain that you care about her and what she thinks of you and that you hate it when you fight. Then go on to try to explain your side of the story. But the big thing here is to get past the anger and hear what she is trying to say to you. Are you pushing your lifestyle beyond your maturity? Your mom is probably concerned about you and where your life is heading. Show her you are concerned too and that you can be trusted to care about taking care of yourself and respecting her. I think she might respond by giving you more respect in the long run ...

Answer 9

i agree with wise guy you must have done something to provoke her, but that does not give her the right to call you those things. I know cause my mom and dad do it too. so maybe try talking to her wen she is calm and try to explain you are not those things and if things do get bad tell you dad and if you are old enough to move out then go ahead if things get really bad

Answer 10

Ok, hun, listen. This is just like my cousins sitch. OK your dad can't do anything. It's all on you. You need to come up with something to agree on, but first. ...... go to your mom and tell her that what she said earlier was really mean and even though you yelled back you know you felt totally hurt. Tell her that and see what happens