does it imply something else?
2007-08-27 08:21:48 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It's a standard passive-aggressive technique. Only slightly less annoying than the "I'm sorry you feel that way . .. " apology
2007-08-27 08:29:53 · answer #1 · answered by LX V 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
A true, heartfelt apology is unconditional. It does not include any clauses or explanations. It acknowledges wrong/error, and attempts to make restitution.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you. It was wrong of me to take my tension out on you. Is there something I can do to make you feel better?" is an example of an apology.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you, but I just get really tense at these kinds of get-togethers and that brings out the worst in me," is an example of a non-apology. It implies that somehow the apologist's action was excusable and that perhaps you are wrong to take offense at the action.
This is something I just can't understand. People who do something wrong, that they know is wrong, who cannot take responsibility for the wrong. If you've done something that's hurt/upset someone else, be the big person and admit it, without qualifying or justifying the action!
2007-08-27 08:46:02 · answer #2 · answered by Karin C 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think sometimes an apology followed by "but" can be genuine. The person may be trying to explain better what happened.
I try to ask, "Will you forgive me?" rather than just say "I'm sorry." Simply saying you're sorry implies that you should automatically be forgiven end of story. Asking for forgiveness really shows you are regretful.
2007-08-27 09:52:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from personal experience, I tend to apologize more than saying I am sorry. I'm sorry precludes that you have an actual emotional value behind the words that you are saying whereas apologizing means that you are sorry that the other party feels the way that they do, though you do not feel the same.
2007-08-27 08:55:26 · answer #4 · answered by kevin t 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my honest opinion, when "but" follows an apology, the apology is taken back. It means that the person didn't want to make the other one feel bad, but still feels that he/she is in the right and wants the other person to know it.
I feel that no apology is better than a negated apology. Both are rude, yes, but it's both rude and hurtful (not to mention tacky) to say, "I'm sorry I hurt you, but I was justified in doing it."
2007-08-27 09:51:05 · answer #5 · answered by Avie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it was/is intended to use for communicating that the person who is speaking is "sorry" for any offense that may take place in the message they are about to give you. Or they are sorry if they hurt you but they mean what they say.
2007-08-27 09:23:55 · answer #6 · answered by throughthebackyards 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it usually implies them wanting to off load the blame.
2007-08-27 08:32:57 · answer #7 · answered by : 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I believe in most cases the but....... is just an attempt to explain, but obviously sometimes is an implication that they are not sorry.
2007-08-27 08:35:51 · answer #8 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That would really annoy me. Yes, it sounds like they're not really apologizing.
2007-08-27 08:28:59 · answer #9 · answered by ♫ Sweet Honesty ♫ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most of the time, yes.
2007-08-27 09:08:46 · answer #10 · answered by COLTSfansince1994 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋