was with this guy for 8 months and it was a very serious relationship. We met at wotk and only knew eachother as workers and there was that "spark". After only 4 months knowing eachother we decided to go out, and we werent friends to begin with. Hes very sensitive and thoughtful(I know u girls will say "NO hes a jerk" just shut up, cuz theres different situations)and it was love at first sight. We werent even friends to begin with and we got attached very quickly. I heard he ahd a very bad past and his friends and him kept telling me I was the only chick who treated him right(ther others were verbal abuse and hes been hurt so bad alot)then he breaks up with me, saying hes "confused, "not ready" "needs time to think" its you its not me" and what confused me the most is when he said "i cant show feelings"...did he just get tired of me??? and now he has a rebound girl like whats going on???? he was even calling me more after we broke up...plz i want to clear all this confusion!!
2007-08-27 07:22:21 · 10 answers · asked by Canadian19 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
-we were sexually active for like 5 months
-he always thought he was worthless becuz of the abuse
-said his past was bad until he met me
-did i mention im the only girl who he actually got along with?
2007-08-27 07:23:11 · update #1
-I know your going to tell me to move on, but honestly, i still cry myself to sleep every night and hes all and the ONLY thing i think about. hes like permenantly locked in my mind
2007-08-28 06:22:11 · update #2
-by the way him and his rebound chick(who lived like 8 hours away)didnt even last 3 weeks
2007-08-28 06:23:05 · update #3
-its like the answers are just not unfolding at all and im just too hurt
2007-08-28 06:24:45 · update #4
He's dumping you in a sort of nice way so as not
to hurt your feelings. Take the message &
find somebody who will appreciate all you have to
offer them.
2007-08-27 07:29:49 · answer #1 · answered by Ski Freedom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Like you said he has told you that he has been hurt before really badly, hes scared becuz he doesnt have trust anymore. Although he may tell you that your the only one that hasnt or doesnt hurt him, he has lost that trust.
its going to take time for this guy to regain self confidence not only in himself but also people that he has relationships with. He doesnt want to get hurt again and maybe he thinks he is,only becuz u guys moved really fast. So my advice is just take things slowly.. I mean wouldnt you rather have him in your life as a friend than at all?
Hope i could help & good luck :)
2007-08-27 14:29:48 · answer #2 · answered by gangirls04 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The guy sounds like an emotional wreck. That probably doesn't have anything to do with you. I know alot of people like this. They allow their past experiences to dictate the way they live their life today. While you may care about this person, you have to put your happiness first and that means finding someone that doesn't have alot of emotional baggage. You should not place yourself in the position of "saving" people at the expense of your own well-being.
2007-08-27 14:35:44 · answer #3 · answered by hogfanbk 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he has a fear of commitment at best.
At worst he’s an emotional basket case who thrives on being the victim and you were just too “normal” to fuel his addiction to self-pity.
Either way you’re not going to just fix whatever his problem is, so don’t push it. He’s the only one who can break the cycle.
My advice is to move on, and if he wants to get his act together then you can decide if you want to take him back (keep the ball in your court, so to speak).
2007-08-27 14:36:08 · answer #4 · answered by Zero 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He doesnt want to hurt you. Because the past females have done him all wrong, he must wnt some type of revenge and I think he realizes thta he cant do that to u becuase your a nice girl. I think u should just move on and start dating someone else because he's emotionally scarred.
2007-08-27 14:27:26 · answer #5 · answered by yogurlmsbunny 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because he's gotten hurt before, he didn't feel he deserved a good thing. It's low self-esteem. You can't cure him, and you don't want the heartache of trying. If he has moved on, better that you do as well.
2007-08-27 14:27:24 · answer #6 · answered by Jarien 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He thinks you'll end up being just like the others...it's not your fault, it's just what he's going to believe for a long, long time. He likes you but he'll always be waiting for the other shoe to drop...it hurts you but you really should move on. You deserve to be happy, without having to constantly prove that you aren't "her".
2007-08-27 14:33:25 · answer #7 · answered by jmh 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
just like any woman who gets used to being treated badly,so has he.My guess is he hasn't had enough bad treatment to go for help.He's right,he's confused,mixed up chaos with love and can't separate the two.
Unfortunately,there's nothing you can do about it,belongs to him,hurts you in the process.. sadly:(
2007-08-27 14:35:58 · answer #8 · answered by t_blond_chick 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's just trying to let you down easy...
2007-08-27 14:25:26 · answer #9 · answered by Penelope Smith 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he's probably not as into you as you thought he was?
2007-08-27 14:26:09 · answer #10 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋