My housekeeper and former co-worker wants to come to my wedding. Not only would it mean that her co-worker and my good friend would not be able to go (not everyone can get the night off from work), but she'll also be bringing her daughter, who will have her children with her (she'll be the mother of four very soon, most likely before my wedding). I can get over having children at my wedding, however, the reception is going to be at my Mom's house and she has clearly said there's just not enough room for children to be running around and she doesn't want to worry about having children in her house that she doesn't know, so I would not be comfortable if they did show up. So... what do I tell her? Do I invite her or not? It would be ok if it was just her, but not the kids.
2007-08-27 06:20:28 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It sounds very much as though you don't want this woman at your wedding. It further sounds as though you're certain she will assume her entire tribe is welcome because she is. On top of all that, if you invite her, then someone else you really want at your wedding won't be able to come.
The answer?
Don't invite her. You are not obligated to invite everyone who would like to come to your wedding. Just keep in mind that it may cause some level of friction since you do want to invite her co-worker.
Should you decide to invite your housekeeper, then make it very clear to her who is covered in the invitation. An invitation for one person does not in any way obligate you to entertain six. There is nothing rude about not inviting children to your wedding. There would be something very rude about bringing uninvited guests of any age to a formal function.
2007-08-27 06:51:22 · answer #1 · answered by gileswench 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having an 'adults only' wedding. When you invite someone, they are not automatically to assume that their children will be invited or welcome. And if she chooses not to come as a result, you will know where she stands with you. It is my experience that there are some people who do not understand respectful boundaries where their children are concerned...and it is those people that I tend to drift away from in time. I have no children, nor do I want any...for a reason. I don't enjoy the company of children. May sound a little harsh, but it is the truth. So any of my functions are 'adults only'...and this has not caused any friction with real friends...they understand.
2007-08-27 06:25:59 · answer #2 · answered by Super Ruper 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her the truth about the kids. Tell her it's an adult occasion and that you are politely asking that people not bring kids. I have been to parties and weddings like that an it's completely acceptable.
Also, if a good friend of yours won't be able to go if she goes, I don't think there's anything wrong with being straightforward about that too. Who wouldn't choose their good friend over another person that you aren't as close with? Just politely explain that even though you would like everyone to be there, it's just not possible and it's really imporant to you that your good friend be there.
2007-08-27 06:41:52 · answer #3 · answered by barelyblue82 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, It's really clear that your mother cannot have kids running around the house , so mybe you can ask the mother of the kids if they can sit down very quietly and are not allowed to run around. It may be a bit rude but , you dont want your night to be ruined. If they arn't the kids who sit down and watch , then very nicely tell the mother of those kids that she cant bring her kids because there is no room in the hosue for kdis to be running. Very nicely tell her your situation. So invite her and not the kids. just my advise.
2007-08-27 06:30:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to decide whether you want her there. If you do then just state that you hope that she can find a sitter as you can only invite a limited number of people and that you are already at your limit before inviting her children. People do seem to understand the "numbers" thing and that should be enough to tell her to leave the brood at home politely.
good luck!
2007-08-27 06:52:13 · answer #5 · answered by little l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could leave out the reception info on her invitation, but that's risky because she could just follow others or ask and find out. I'd just not invite her. People shouldn't invite themselves, it's rude. Some people at work did it to me for my wedding and now i'm p***ed!
2007-08-27 12:55:06 · answer #6 · answered by BlackDahlia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you cut her off before she can assume she is invited and tell her regretfully, cause the reception is at my moms only the very immediate family is invited, oh, my own cousins are not coming because it is just a tiny wedding. and you repeat as needed. people tell this lie to people they dont want to invite allllllll the timeeeee.
2007-08-27 06:39:23 · answer #7 · answered by jaded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why a person would expect to invite their daughter and all her kids to a wedding. I think your mom is being a little rude to host your reception yet decide who can and can't come, but do what you think is best.
2007-08-27 06:26:58 · answer #8 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
It is your day. People don't get to decide they want to come to your wedding. It is you inviting people whom you want to share in this special day. Remember that. If she asks again just polietely same it is mainly just family and very close friends.
2007-08-27 06:25:13 · answer #9 · answered by Mommy2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you want to invite the other person more. Do so without guilt.
2007-08-27 10:38:38 · answer #10 · answered by Bill 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋