Kids are afraid of talking to parents these days.....?

Question

Isn't it so sad these days when kids can't even feel comfortable enough to talk to their parents? When I am out and about I observe the way that parents treat their children I realize then why they might be afraid to talk to them. Parents will often treat their children with absolutely no respect. They tower over them with authority and don't allow them to express themselves. They don't respect them by letting them talk for themselves. They literally scare them into compliance. Yell at them in public and don't discipline in a loving and caring manner teaching them what to do instead of what not to do.

What a sad society that we live in. Now don't get me wrong there are some good parents out there too, but it seems most of the kids that are on here don't even have enough guts to face their own parents and ask them simple questions.

We have been open with our daughter since the beginning. She is only 5, but she knows she can trust us and come to both her Daddy and I with anything.

Answer 1

children learn what they live.what you see from others is usually what they got from their parents.I tried to remember the things in my childhood that caused me to feel intimidated and would never repeat those mistakes with my own.I realize most people have had some form of hurt or trauma in their childhoods but instead of mourning over what you didn't get,give what you missed to yours.Good for you and your husband for opening up doors for your child,but don't get ahead of yourself as your child is only five.You have years of training and teaching to do and if you are lucky,things can go fairly smooth but not always.The best judge of your child's behavior beside how you raise them is think back to who you were when you were a teen,who was the father when he was a teen.We usually end up with ourselves and get back what we gave our parents.Good luck,I have 5 girls who are now women and 27 grand kids and 2 greats so I know what I am speaking of..

Answer 2

This is true and the only answer I have for this is that maybe parents aren't trying to be like that, but it is life. Their is really no Parenting 101, because every kid, parent, and life is different. One parent can't tell another parent what to do, while we can advice and suggest other ways to parent, parents and kids have to live and learn.

Now that I am a mother of a 1yr. old son, I see and understand many things my mom had to do to make sure I didn't stray off. I do beleive there were better ways to accomplish this but as long as it was done, I can be here, healthy, and ready to parent my kid.

My advice to kids is to understand parents a little more and try to reason with parents. One of the commandents is to HONOR YOUR MOTHER AND FATHER, I do beleive parents want the best thing for their kids even though they sometimes don't know how to show it. When all else fails be glad there are a lot of support groups and other parents out there to help.

Answer 3

Hi -- i've noticed this, also and then i've heard "You have to respect me!" coming from a parent's mouth, when they have neglected to respect the child first.

I wasn't a perfect parent, but i i did talk with my kids... if i thought i did something wrong, i sat down and told them that i'd made a mistake... especially when it came to their upbringing.

i wanted my kids to realize i was human too... and even though they had rules, we could communicate and relate to each other.

i was raised by an abusive tyrant, so i know what feeling terrified and disrespected as a child is all about.

hugs

Answer 4

I can't blame my parents. I didn't come with an instruction manuel. But I wish they would have sought help or drawn on some resources as to learn how to communicate with me, invite me to confide in them, console me when I was in need and encourage me to thrive. Instead I was just kind of "another person in the house". So many things happened in my life in which I wish I could have talked to my parents but that just wasn't something they were/are interested in. To this day, if I were to request a sit down and have a conversation with it, it would not happen. Instead, my Mother or Father would say at the moment I ask "if we can talk", "What? I am here, talk right now". Unfortuantely I have always looked for the chance to sit down, on a slow afternoon, and just talk. As a result of their unwillingness to communicate with me or guide me I have sought help in several wrong places and a few right places. Their comes a point in your life when you just have to surrender and parent-child relationships are one of those things that evoke such a choice. I need to accept that at age 5, and at age 25, I cannot talk to my parents. It is just something they don't want to do or maybe do not know how to do. Now some children don't need that, but I was one of the ones that did. So please, continue talking to your daughter and letting her feel comfortable with talking to you. Those open lines of communication could save her from so much pain you can't even imagine. Like I said, I didn't come with a "How To" book, but it would have been nice if my grown, accomplished, adult parents, made 1/3 of the effort I did when it comes to interacting. So I surrender. I surrender to that reality that my Mother never thought it was important to tell me about baking cookies, shopping for formal dresses, being able to bear children, or being mature enough to apologize to a friend. And I surrender to the reality that my Father never told me what type of guy to look out for, or how sometimes guys can be just as sensitive as women, or how to be sensible about relationships when they come to an end. Parents, please seek strong realtionships with your children. It's your responsibility.

Answer 5

My kids talk to me about everything, school, friends, girls even sex (my oldest is 23). I think in most households the parents are too busy with work and their own lives to spend quality time listening and talking with their children. It's a shame for those children.
Good for you for staying open and communicative with your daughter. She'll love you even more for it!

Answer 6

I think since we are growing up with both parents working they constantly shove their kids off to other people and really honestly do NOT know how to commincate with the child.
It's an on going process to build trust with the child not to just assume they trust you.
Just my observation.

Answer 7

its true. but some parents usually dont show their kids enough time and some parents can be mean thats why kids are sooo closed when talking to parents. Its hard when your parent never give you the time. For those parents who give their kids the time and actually understand their children and listening to them. God Bless you some parents lack that

Answer 8

I'm like that. Thank you for noticing. I cannot remember the last time i went to my parents for something. Its always to my friends, or the people on yahoo answers or my siblings.

but never my parents

I'm so happy someone actually realizes this

Answer 9

stay that way. it's really painful when parents cant make the time to talk to their kids. I understand that my parents work a lot but still they have to make time. and they dont even understand my feelings at all.
just stay the way you are and just make your child feel that you are available all the time. it will a heck lot of difference in her life. Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 10

You seem like a cool mom, i wish you were my mom. im 12 and i live in CA with my 27 year old bro and 18 year old sis. its so hard,
because my parents were there for my bro and sis but when i was 3 they left to NY because of their job. i had nannies looking after me. now im in a scremo/emo band, i cut, i drink, i sneak out, i do everything that im not aloud to do.