How do I get my 5 yr old to stop crying in the morning at school??

Question

My son just started kindergarden last week and was fine for the 1st 2 days but now is having meltdowns every morning in front of all the other kids, parents and his teacher. Thank goodness he has a very good teacher who is working thru this with him but it definaly makes for a very difficult morning. She says he's fine once I leave but not only is it frustrating, but its emotionally really hard on my son and I both. Its definatly an adjust,ent because in preschool he went 2 days a week and only to 12:30-he now goes all week to 2:00pm whcih is like an eternity. Any suggestions on how to get him to calm down in the morning and not be so upset??

Answer 1

i'm a preschool teacher, i have my shares of children who are so attached to their parents. the only solution, tough as it is, is that be brave, be strong, kiss your son goodbye and say to him firmly but kindly "i'll see you later after school"..and ke!ep your promise by standing in front of the door, so you will be the first person he sees. And tell what a good boy he is I know it's hard for a parent to see how distress her child is, but hey, don't worry, your child is in good hands. so cooperate with your son's teacher. good luck..and be strong

Answer 2

When a child is so attached to a parent, like your son seems to be, it may be hard for him to understand that you are not leaving him there forever. With his preschool, he eventually got used to it and knew that you were coming back, plus he was familiar with the teachers there. In this new school, everyone is a stranger, which is scary. When he gets to school, you have to kiss him and encourage him to go and play with the other kids...and always tell him that you look forward to hearing all about what he did/learned in school, when you pick him up. That way, he'll know you're coming back. Also, by encouraging him to go and play, he's start having fun and remember that it's not that bad once you leave....maybe you can even sneak away without him realizing it!
Good Luck, it will get easier!

Answer 3

I am a Pre-K teacher, and it's normal for children to go through this phase when they are staying at school longer than they usually do. It stems from a change of routine more than anything. My advice is before going to school, explain to him that you will be picking him up at a specific time in a way that he understands (such as after naptime or after recess). Also stay positive and allow him to pick out his clothes at night or help you make lunch or a snack in the mornings. When you arrive at school, keep your goodbyes SHORT. Remember that you are the boss in this situation. I've seen many parents be late for work because their children want one more hug and then another hug and then another hug. The child is then reinforced that if they act a certain way then Mommy or Daddy will stay longer. If your child becomes upset, just kiss him goodbye and tell him you will see him at the time you discussed together. Then close the door and leave. Most kids will cry for a few minutes but then the teacher engages them in an activity or they see their friends and cheer up. Trust me, by the end of the month he will be settled in his routine and feel more confident about going to school!

Answer 4

As the mother of 3 very different children, I've found that whenever a chronic emotional response develops, like transition anxiety, talking about it when it's NOT happening is very helpful. When we're home together doing something quiet like making a snack or just after reading a bedtime story, I bring up the behavior and ask if they can tell me why they feel like crying, clinging or whatever they're doing. This usually reveals so much that I didn't realize about what they are experiencing. Then we can come up with a plan to cope. In your case, maybe you'll read one book or build one tower before you leave the classroom. I also like to remind my kids that crying is appropriate if you're really scared or hurt, but when you cry it upsets those around you, so whenever possible try to stay calm and use your words to express yourself. Perhaps your child could dictate a letter for your teacher to write to you about how he feels when you leave. Good luck - and it will get better...

Answer 5

Is this her identity, her role in the family, and what purpose does it serve for you? girls want to please their daddies. Do you show a little smile when she misbehaves? (this from psychology book, What Do You Say After You say Hello?) get serious, read Dr. James Dobson books like Dare To Discipline. You have to outlast her. You're not doing her (or society) any favors by tolerating this behavior. I get that you're a stepfather, but you said "we've" tried; it sounds like you and your wife are together on getting her to behave, but make sure that that is the ONLY message she is receiving and is not detecting some pride in how bad my girl is.Carefully decide what the rules are, because once you make them, you HAVE to enforce them. One final thought: is one or the other of you giving her a break because of some feelings of guilt? She'll pick up on that and use it. If you feel like she somehow didn't get an even break in life thus far, you have to expect MORE from her, not less. You have to let her know that she can take it, and love her enough to require good behavior. LOL

Answer 6

explain to your son that he has to go to school and that you will be there to pick him at 2:00. Maybe get his schedule from the teacher. That way when you drop him off in the morning you can say first you will do ca lander then have a snack, use the bathroom and after center times i will be back for you. Love you Kiss, the end.
He will adjust to school just takes time especially for a child who never has been away from mom. After school talk to him about the fun things he did at school and about his nice teacher.
Maybe have him color a picture or make a craft for his teacher. Give him something to look forward to in the morning. He may surprise you and run in there with his gift for the teacher.
Hang in there MOM it will get better.

Answer 7

Regina is on track with her answer, but I'd like to add something to it. Have you read The Kissing Hand together? If you haven't, DO IT. Then give your son a kissing hand before you leave home. When you get to school, smile, hug and kiss him once. Remind him to take good care of his kissing hand, have fun, and I'll see you later. Do it with a smile, and WALK AWAY. It will be hard at first, but he really will be fine, and so will you. Remember, part of his job as the son is to make you feel guilty for leaving him! LOL If you're strong and smiling, he will accept the fact that everything is OK.

Answer 8

Hi There,
I work in a kindergarten and i must say its frustrating for us too when parents wont leave. It really makes the process worse. I always say to parents i wish i had a video camera because the tears stop instantly. I suggest you let your child bring their favourite toy...leave your child engaged at an activity.... try "will you paint me a picture? " always say goodbye never sneak off. hand your child over to a favourite teacher i promise the crying will soon stop. If it doesnt after a coujple of months ide suggest finding a new nursery.

Answer 9

Ya'know what? He just doesn't wanna see his daddy/mommy go is all. Here's what you do: The next time you take him to class, ya'gives him a kiss N say good bye. Then walk away. As hard as it seems, he will eventually learn that crying gets him no where. N tell his wonderful teacher to not baby him so much while he's crying. Again it only teaches him that's how to get what he wants. You'll try this N you'll IM me to thank me, you will. = P

Answer 10

I went through this with my son - I bought him a watch and began to teach him to tell time so that he knew how long until I would come and get him. Overall I think it's hard for many kids to distance themselves from their mom's. See if you can find him a special friend, have this child over, then he will know someone who he likes that is in his class.