How do you like my little verse; about how God created the universe?

Question

He was getting tired of this search for infinity,
He'd been thru such a boring eternity.

Things weren't turning out the way he planned
He had these legs with nowhere to stand.
He had these ears, but no sounds to hear,
no one to talk with, or to share a beer.
He had these eyes with nothing to see,
no land, or sky, not even a tree.
Just sitting alone, all thru the nite,
So he decided one day to turn on the light.

He gathered a bunch of eternal smutt,
dust and clay, and God knows what.
He created these balls for some strange reason,
He wanted them finished before growing season.
The soil was dry, and starting to harden,
So he ploughed it up to make his garden.
This garden was green, cool, and shady,
then he created Man and the man's old lady.

With their bare behinds, they looked so cute,
He then gave them trees with very smart fruit.
He said, please smell these treats, but don't partake,
for you'll get a nasty, and long lasting belly ache.

It sounded a little like " let them eat cake",
but He just couldn't trust that slimey snake.
He didn't mind that the snake could walk,
but He should never have allowed that sucker to talk.
These crazy kids took the snakes advice,
So it was time to boot them from paradice.

This silly couple was beginning to pout,
because the old man was kicking them out.
All their mischief was causing God to grieve,
But He still had some tricks up his holy sleeve.
When old man Noah heard God call his name,
He knew it was time to start a brand new game.

Answer 1

meh


its good, a little sing songy
but some things counter each other

like nothing there, but then he gets earth?


and you have to have day to have night

Answer 2

It's amazing that no one answering here, caught on that you were ridiculing the Bible's account of creation.
Clever writing, but you did not find an appreciative audience.
Could these people not see how ridiculous is the idea of a god having these useless eyes, ears, and legs, and sitting around in darkness for umpteen zillion years.
How could he be a god and have no reason for being?
God of what, before creation?
Superior to whom?
More powerful than whom?
It's truly amazing how shallow most people seem to be.
You're writing was brilliant.---Too bad that so few people understood it.

Answer 3

I agree with J.R.
Hilarious; " searching for infinity" during "a boring eternity".---don't these people have any understanding of what these terms mean?---It's so sad.
They think they're criticizing your poem, but they're actually criticizing what the Bible says, and they don't even know it.
Good writing.

Answer 4

It's almost as silly as the original version, and sounds like the children's rhyme it is. But why do we fill children's heads with such nonsense anyway?

Answer 5

Pretty good. But didn't God have a son to talk to?