Is this fair, or immature?

Question

OK, so on my previous profile, I mentioned a question about what to do about my mom's drinking. I told someone she knows, he told her about my concern and told her I said she was drunk driving. I think she was drunk driving a couple of times. I snitched on her right before we were going on vacation, but she was so angry at me she isn't talking to me ( we did a few times over the phone though, all leading into fights ) and she didn't let me go on vacation with her, my sister, and her friend. My mom claims she wasn't drunk driving, and says she deserves an apology. Does she? Before my parents got a divorce, she drank a lot, and it got so bad she almost stabbed my dad. And she's more of the angry drunk. After the divorce, she was sober but I discovered in May she was drinking again. There have been a lot of fights before I snitched. Should I have told on her? Should she drink? Was she fair not to bring me on vacation? Thanks!

Answer 1

It sounds like she really shouldn't be drinking, that it's a problem not a simple social enjoyment. I don't think that it was wrong for you to have reached out to someone for help with a problem that your mom doesn't acknowledge and that is too big for you to solve on your own. In fact, that's a sign of maturity. Hopefully, your mom will get the help that she needs and be able to realize that you were trying to help her, not make her life harder. It really sucks that you didn't get to go on vacation, but that seems trivial to me considering your bigger problem. Good luck.

Answer 2

Yes, you absolutely should have told on her. I have past experience with an alcoholic family member and the one thing that Ive learned is that they will usually try to pass the blame off on other people and they will do everything in thier power to deny and lie if it means protecting their drinking. If you feel she is drinking too much and also driving while drunk then you did the right thing. Your mother needs someone who will give her a dose of reality and thats what you did. She may not like it and she may feel like she is losing control and she is holding a grudge against you to make YOU feel like the bad guy when in fact you are not. She needs help and I know that you will probably question yourself and your actions a hundred times because Ive been there but someone needs to be the "tough" one with her. She will only be able to get the help she needs when she realizes that she has a problem or when she hits rock bottom, until then you just be there to support her and dont hesitate to voice your concerns, you did the right thing! Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.

Answer 3

Living with an alcoholic is the hardest thing of all, I know, both my parents were. You absolutely did the right thing, now if anything(God forbid) happens, someone else besides you knows about her illness. Alcoholics never think they are in the wrong, and no amount of talking will convince them otherwise. It wasn't fair not to include you on vacation, but honestly,did you really want to go and relive all the fighting? Is there anyway your father can speak with her or possibly take over custody until your mom gets help? Your mom needs a wake up call, hopefully before something terrible happens that changes everyones life forever. Good Luck

Answer 4

it's difficult to live with or around someone who has problems with alcohol.

the only person who can admit or determine whether your mother has a problem is HER... if she doesn't want to get help or try alcoholics anonymous, then you can't do anything about it.

if she drinks, and denies it, she likely has a big problem... believe me, i know all about it.

take care of YOU... i'm sorry about the vacation, but if it would lead to you having to be around more of her drinking, then maybe you are better off being home?

Answer 5

PRAY