Help What Should I Do?

Question

I Have this problem with my mom. She and i havent been talking for months now for a little problem she made a big deal of. She said im not considerd family and that im a stranger in her home i pay 350 for rent and she tells me that i dont need to tell her anything about where im going to go and when im going. Im Practically living my own life under her roof. anywho. Last Friday after work my friend picked me up so we could go to the mall and we were going to go have dinner. she was going to drop off her little sister at the movies but she had to go and pick up some her things so she could spend the night at her friends house. But their mother doesnt like me because of this problem i had with my Mother last year. She kicked me out of the house days after i graduated i had nowhere to go so i went to my friends house. their mother didnt always have a problem with me untill she tried to settle things her own way. She went to my house and spoke to my mom. She came home to throw me out.

She spoke to me and told me that the reason I had left the house was because my mother had said that I was running away from the cops and that she never threw me out. And that I had lied to her in order to leave my own home. I was devastated because everything my mother had said was a lie and well I had to leave so I had to go back home. My mom of course knew what she did and I forgave her. This was a year ago. Back to this Friday I my friends sister was gonna go home to pick some things up and they were going to drop me off somewhere really quick that way their mother wouldn’t see me. They told me their mother hated me for the “things” my mother had said about me. I asked what things did she say. This is what their mother said. She said my mother had said that when I was younger she put me in a mental hospital, that I went to jail a bunch of times and that she had to go and bail me out. That I was a whore and that I use my friends in order to help me with my problems. I was so mad I

couldn’t believe what I had heard. I got home and asked my dad if this was true. He was mad aswell and was like no I was there when your friends mother came to talk to your mom. She never said that. So I was like fine. I don’t care so I let it go. But when my mother heard this instead of coming to my room and talking to me she came and beat me. I think she did it to let go of all the anger she's had on me for a while. She thought I had said all these things. She thought that i was the one saying all this when it wasnt. She gave me two weeks to find somewhere to stay but my dad stood up for me and pissed her off. He told me i didnt have to leave. But she hates me. And i dont know where to go and i dont have lots of money

Answer 1

This situation sounds so much like my cousin and aunts problem a long time ago. My aunt would treat my cousin the exact same way and my cousin was also paying her rent, had a job and but seemed to have a difficult time with her mother. My aunt would spread rumors and lies to my cousins friends and family about her. When my cousin would confront her...she denied the accusations. Though my cousin knew for a fact that all the evidence pointed towards her. Later on we came to find out from our grandmother that my aunt has a mental issue called pathological liar. Meaning a person that says lies to the point when he/she believes them themselves. Though when confronted they deny it. Even though the accuser has evidence that they are false statements. I'm not saying that its probably what your mother has but that maybe you have to find out what is wrong with your mother. It is your right to know everything about your mothers past or present life. If you try to ignore the situation it will only get worse for the both of you. I can say that you love your mom because youre asking for help. So help her....,find out whats wrong with her. Ask your family if there is anything that you need to know about your mothers past. If there is and if they care...,they will tell you. There is always a reason for everything and there is also a way to resolve it. Yes, maybe it is time that you move out and live your life but if you dont do anything to try to make a good friendship with your mom it will get worse. I'm not blaming you or her but all im trying to say is that shes your mother and youre her daughter and in this world you only get one mom. Now, if you do try to find out what is wrong with her but get nowhere....,dont worry, stay calm because the best thing that you can do in that moment is pray. You seem to be a very mature, and honest woman that seems to have her life in order. You have a job, you pay rent, you have a good time with your friends and you also want a loving friendship with your mother. Be strong, smart, and pray. In time...when you least expect it to happen...you and your mom will be sitting down having a deep conversation on how to improve your relationship toward one another. Forgive her. Just have faith and ill be prayin for you as well.

Answer 2

What kind of Mother says things like that about their child? Does your Mother have anger or mental issues? Is she the type of person that it is her way or the highway? If I were you I would either write a letter or go talk to my Mother about the lies she is spreading about you and I would ask her what kind of Mother does that to her child. If I were you I would move out of her house - who needs the aggravation? If it makes you feel better go and talk to your friends Mother and let her know what the deal really is. If you need to prove that this stuff isn't true pull see if you can pull police records.

Answer 3

Is there a relative you could live with or a good friend? Other than that how about Job Corp. They give you a room, you work towards your goals in life, get an education and get paid. You also learn lots of life skills there. It's an option, they are in most every state.

Answer 4

If you are old enough and are working, get a room somewhere, and move out, start being your own person, and first find out who you are, and what makes you special, for if you know that, and love yourself,you can stand up for yourself and love the people around you as well. I also wouldnt be friends with someone who spreads such wicked lies about me anyway!! Find someone who can be a real friend, and accept you for who you are, and who will not use her mother as an excuse for not being a friend.

Answer 5

Hi...

Your mother has issues, which probably have nothing to do with YOU... but she might be taking them out on you because she doesn't know any other way to cope. this, in itself, is sad...

You didn't mention your age, but it seems like it's time to get your own place and separate yourself from that situation. Perhaps if you take your dad aside, he might be able to help you get a place somehow? It doesn't hurt to ask... and your mom doesn't have to know.

I hope it works out... avoid the drama... if your friends and their parents are part of it, don't associate with them. It's not worth the stress.

Answer 6

if mom is saying all those bad things about u...get a job rent urself a place and move on....or go live with other family member..