I have a nephew of about 4 who constantly asks for stuff...
'can I eat this...'
'can we go out to...'
'can I have this toy...'
My question is, how often can you 'give in' to their requests without spoiling them?
2007-08-27 00:32:30 · 15 answers · asked by e-man 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
A good rule of thumb is to give them all of what they need, and a little of what they want. This, of course, requires an adult who understands the difference between needs (healthy food, clothes, exercise, responsibility and accountablility, freedom from constant adult attention and direction, and serious limitations on TV and video games) and wants (toys, candy, television, constant attention, etc.)
The main thing to remember is that children are very smart, and will know when they are in control. They learn quickly about what works, and what doesn't. If you give in to tantrums, you'll get more tantrums. If you give into them a lot, they will ask more. If you are constantly spending time paying attention to and directing them, they will become dependant on it.
Lastly, don't bargain with children, nor change your mind out of frustration with constant requests. This will only make the situation worse.
So relax, learn to enjoy saying no, and let them explore life
2007-08-27 00:49:56 · answer #1 · answered by LT Dan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be careful when "giving in" to children's requests because thats when you end up spoiling them. It really depends on the child. If you think your nephew has been well behaved on a certain day and happens to ask you to take him on an outing somewhere then you should reward his good behavior by taking him out for a little cruise. But if he has been mis-behaved and asks you for a toy then you should explain to him that he cannot have the toy until he decides to behave well. Monitor his behavior. If you think he deserves a treat.. then go for it.
Good luck
=D
2007-08-27 07:41:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your nephew wants to eat and go outside, "give in" whenever he asks. Kids need food and fresh air. If he only sees you once in a while and wants a cheap toy... you're the uncle... it's okay to spoil him !! :) As long as every time you see him he's not asking you to dish out $50 bucks for toys, I don't believe you can spoil a kid, as long as you teach them to be appreciative of what they're getting.
2007-08-27 08:30:09 · answer #3 · answered by mitchell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't respond to "I want"s at all. If she rewords it politely, to "I'd really like to see/have/try that", then we talk about what would need to happen for it to occur. For example, she may have to put it on her "wish list" for Christmas and birthday. Or she might be able to earn the treat somehow. Or if it's food/restaurant, then when it's her turn to choose we just go there, no big deal.
But I'm stubborn and old-fashioned - I refuse to respond to demands of children. I guess that's why I'm the mean mom on field trips, lol.
2007-08-27 12:36:48 · answer #4 · answered by ~Biz~ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When it's a reasonable request its not giving in. ANythign else at 4 yrs old he can start learnign the value of work and earning things EVEN if to earn it means simply cleanign his room.
2007-08-27 07:46:37 · answer #5 · answered by Betsy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not all the time he has to learn to not get everything he wants.when he asks then just say no unless if its healthy or somthing that his parents approve of. as for when he wants to go somewhere it depends on the place, if it is a place where he can have fun and not for a long time then yes but if u dont want to go or have no time tell him that u are busy and u will do it later.
REMEBER....NEVER PROMISE HIM ANYTHING!!!
he will remember and u will have to do it.
2007-08-27 08:36:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Set some boundaries and stick to them. He's only 4 so he wants everything he sees, you just have to reinforce that he doesn't always get everything.
When my daughter was that age, I asked her "Why do you want that?" If she said, "I saw it on TV," that wasn't good enough. If she said, "My friend has one and it's really neat," I'd use it as a reward.
Also, correct his grammar. "May I have..."
2007-08-27 07:47:55 · answer #7 · answered by Rob B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/t100200.asp
Dr. Sears suggests: Attachment parenting implies responding appropriately to your baby; spoiling suggests responding inappropriately.
2007-08-27 08:56:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion you have to kinda bargain with him. You should reward him when he's good and say things like "You can have this if you...". If you give into all his requests he'll grow up thinking he can get anything he want. Good luck.
2007-08-27 07:41:27 · answer #9 · answered by sole_chiq 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think since he is your nephew and he comes to you occasionaly then u should fulfill all the rational demands you can.
2007-08-27 08:17:53 · answer #10 · answered by Aleya K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋