i really want to try to become a more positive person?

Question

i tend to be a pessimistic person. i have a hard time trusting things, so i just believe the worst so i won't be let down. when people say something positive about me, i don't believe it, but the moment i hear something negative about me i can never forget it. i'm also a jealous girlfriend because of this. i'm insecure, i know. i really want to learn how to become more optimistic and just enjoy life! i wanna stop worrying about little things and picking out the negatives. when people talk to me, i analyze every word, to the point where what i hear isn't at all what they were saying. pleasepleaseplease give me some advice to become more positive, optmistic, carefree, and happy! i don't want to continue living this way.

Answer 1

you sound so much like myself....how old are you??? i realized that if u want to be more happy u have to force yourself to be like that. And its NOT IMPOSSIBLE...takes sme time to get used to. Just try and dont give a damn much. Its the best feeling ever. In the first few months of my relationship i juss thougt: omg why is he with me? hell leave me soon, im so negative and no fun! but i realized that this was only what i made myself think. Now I try and make myself think different like: if he leaves me, he wasnt even worth it. Theres millions and millions guyz out there. And thinking that way affects the way i act when im around him, Im more fun, spontaneous, carefree. Beat that negativeness, u can do it. Dont compare urself to other girls. Be the best and most beautiful of all to urself. In the end, the only thing that matters is what u think.So enjoy and be happyyyy:D

Answer 2

Dear, first and far most, stop blaming yourself for the nature your persona, it is not that you are a pessimist or an optimist, it is the way you perceive things in life that you should be focusing on.

It is in your nature to examine details with great scrutiny. Instated of fighting who you are and feel negative about yourself, learn to accept and go along with these special features of yours. The more you think that what you do is wrong the more you would be tormenting yourself over it.

Break the cycle and know that you may eventually change the attitude, but never will it reform your constant beliefs. And that is your logical pragmatic mind that seas what could go wrong with anything before it is done.

Look, I do not know you, but I hope that you will start to know who you are to realize that you need not to fix what is not bracken. Cut yourself some slack and lighten up, your hyper processing brain should be directed to think of more holistic things, such as life, being and what is beyond.

Moving to jealousy, at this stage I think –because I do not really know you- that your personal life is also shadowed by your continuous keep safe protocol, you are expecting the worse from your partner and at the same time fearing that you are pushing your partner away by being who you are.

It does not have to be thins way, you HAVE a choice, accept that you will have to get hurt in order to live, accept that you would have to take risks for you to find happiness, find piece and know that you are the key for your salvation … Good Luck

Answer 3

It sounds like you need to build your self confidence first.

Believing the worst so you won't be let down, really lets you down. You are putting yourself in a perpetual state of being down, so scrap that :) Realism is a better, moderated approach. Sure, people will let you down sometimes, and you can feel bad about that. But they usually aren't, so you won't have to feel bad very much of the time.

No need to be a jealous girlfriend. Your fella will be with you as long as he wants to be. If he no longer wants to be, then he's no use to you anyway.

You might as well believe it when people say something positive about you. Unless you hang out with compulsive liars, they probably mean it. People tend to find it easier to say negative things than positive, so if they have said something positive, they mean it. If someone is going to be negative at you an unreasonable amount of the time, stop talking to them. Or, more to the point, stop listening to them.

Lastly, say positive things to other people. If you get into the habit of looking for reasons to say nice things to people (especially your boyf and your other rellies) then you are automatically being more positive. And they'll rather enjoy it.
:)

Answer 4

Even i was the same. But now i am not. Do lots of meditation. Trust me u will find lots of changes in yourself.
This is where you will begin your journey into a new level of relaxation and awareness. Each meditation serves a specific purpose, depending on what you want to achieve. Choose freely and feel free to perform more than one meditation. Here are some hints to get you started:

Make sure you are in a quiet room with no distractions.

Allow some time for your meditation. These meditations last from 3 - 10 minutes. The duration of each meditation is listed below so you can plan your time accordingly.

As you listen to the words of the meditation, picture the images that are being described in your mind.

Be open to the meditation.

Answer 5

Hi.. i was raised by a father who was negative and condescending, so i guess i got it honestly at one time in my life, too. I think that one good thing you can practice is counting to 10 or 20 in your mind before you say anything, ever! For example, if your best friend comes into the room and his hair is all messed up, you might have the urge to say something negative about the way he looks. So stop, and count. This will give you the opportunity to think about what you're going to say. Hopefully you will choose to simply ask him how he is, instead of being negative about his hair. Another example would be - if someone says something you don't like. Just start counting... again you will have the chance to stop and think about what you were going to say, and you might just choose to ignore them, or even say "i'm sorry you feel that way..." without being mean or negative. Change takes loads of practice... I've also found a couple of websites which may have some helpful ideas if you want to check them out. take care.

Answer 6

you have just put into words exactly how i feel... when you get your answer and figure out how to become more positive please let me know cuz no matter how hard i try no matter what changes i make, i always end up all negative and crappy again.... even when all is going well and im "happy" i still find a way to be negative and miserable, i have no controll over it, you? i think we need to just start being positive, i know it sounds rediculous and almost impossible, but by just pretending even if inside youre feeling negative, just by faking it sometimes you may feel better and slowly you may teach yourself that you can be posiive and even if you do get let down or dissapointed, you will be ok with it and just gracefully move on...i know it will help but i never take my own advice (ill try it if you do, lmao!) and if that dosent work the only thing i can think of to try is St.john's wart (herbal, all natural, mood enhancer) i feel ya girly....

Answer 7

Hmm, I use to be pessimistic. What I did was slowly take the negative people out of my life. I also kept a journal and wrote down things that I looked at negatively and asked my self why I felt that this was negative? Then I would write down all the positive things it could have meant.

Answer 8

Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways I will do somebody a good turn and not get found out if anybody knows about it , it will not count, I will do at least two things i dont want to do just for exercise, I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt, they may be hurt but just for today i will not show it. Just for today i will be agreeable i will look as well as i can, dress becomingly, talk low, be courteous, criticize not one bit, not find falt with anything and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself. Try to look for the good in people and listen more carefully and try not to turn what they are saying into something it isnt, try to be kind and nice to people, it will take time but you can change if you work at it.

Answer 9

I suggest getting an ipod and filling it with all your favorite music, make a happy play-list, and go jogging everyday. Exercise really helps you mentally. You get to blow off a little steam, and get in better shape at the same time.Also do more things that make you happy, if you know you are going to have something fun to do when you get home you will be in a better mood at school or work. Its nice having something to look forward to. Good luck.

Answer 10

Wake up early, and sing! that will cheer you up!! lol

always be friendly when talking to friends or people new ;)

i could give you some really good advise but really cnt b assed right now lol soz