Please Help Me Before I Go Absolutely Crazy?

Question

I think my heart is breaking I need advice! I went out with a guy for seven months and when we broke up we hardly spoke but lately we've been really good friends again, for the past month and he's been acting like he used to when we dated. The other night we were staying at a friend's and we stayed together, and he was saying things to me all night, like really sweet things and the next day he asked if we were going to make anything out of it and I said I wasn't sure but I'd like to and he said he thought we shouldn't and I said if I'd known this I wouldn't have done it the other night, because I thought it was more than it was, and he got mad he was like '**** you stop messing with my head' and all this and he only started speaking to me again this morning and he's just been horrible and saying it's complicated and he can't explain it and I just don't understand I really don't. I've been crying since four yesterday afternoon and I said that and he said 'Don't give me that ****.'

I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose him. I love him, I really do but he's gone from liking me to hating me in a day, for reasons he's keeping to himself. He says 'that was then, this is now' but it was only a day ago! Please help!!

He's mad at me for something, you see, and I don't know what! I know I've done something wrong but if I ask what it is he tells me not to, if I apologise he tells me to stop saying I'm sorry! He's showered me with compliments and the like for days and he's never, ever treated me like this before!

Answer 1

run run run.. this guy has a psychological disorder (border line personality) He will drive you nuts. Makes no since. Flips from one side to the other. My ex boyfriend use to say "don't give me that ****" too. It is so much better now he is out of my life!!! I can't believe I cried my heart out over him. (before I knew what was wrong)

Answer 2

Hi sweetie this HAS to stop right now! This guy has a HUGE ego and he is totally unstable. He is controlling you through his anger and nastiness. He is making you weaker and more dependent on him and you will feel worse and worse until you get out of this cycle. How do I know??? Been there and done. I have just freed myself from the biggest a***hole ever. It wasnt easy. But now I can stand up, brush myself off and move forwards. He has the problem not me. Now the scales of balance are the other way round and i am in control and boy does it feel good. Yes still love him, yes it hurts like hell but no guy will ever tread me down like that again. Lean on those you trust to help you through and stay close to them, thats what got me to where I am now. Be honest with them.

Answer 3

What you need to do is stand up and stand your ground. He is walking all over you by doing this and he doesn't care that he is hurting you emotionaly. That is the worst kind of pain, and when a guy doesn't care, then they are not worth your pain or tears. The best thing you can do is tell him that you are done with him. If he wants to mature a little and decide what he wants, then he can let you know, but in the meantime leave you alone bc all he is doing is hurting you and stringing you along. He will keep doing it until you put a stop to it. It is up to you to stop it.

Answer 4

You have done nothing wrong honey. It is he who has the problem not you. If he won't tell you what the problem is, then there isn't one. He's just being a drama queen, if you had done him wrong in anyway he would make sure you understood what it was.
What has he got to gain by not telling you what you've done wrong? Nothing, because you have done nothing wrong, unless you count getting involved with him in the first place!
My immediate ex did the same to me, he'd punish me for weeks on end by cutting me out of his life and refusing to answer my texts. I'd ask him "What have I done?" and he'd reply with stuff like, "You know what you did." Cryptic nonsense, because he just got a thrill out of punishing me and seeing me upset.
He hated me because I loved him. He hated himself so much that he disrespected anyone who loved him as he thought that made them weak. Complicated I know but you have a guy who is the same. And he won't change unless he gets counselling to work out the root of this problem. He will keep punishing you until you hate yourself as much he hates himself.
Get out now, he's a lost cause.

Answer 5

You are really crazy, but I know love is blind. So I thought I will reply to your question.

Firstly if the guy behaves so strange, that means he is very confused.He might be liking you but not sure if he wants commitment. But you have to make him realise that he also needs you. Dont be always available as and when he requires you. Let him miss you and let him realise that you are not going to wait for him life long. Best way to invoke his feelings will be to make him jealous.

And see if you think that he is not confused and usually has such temperamant, I would suggest, not to get involved with him further. These kind of people are very attractive, but they dont make a good partner in long term relationships. Just move on,, dont get yourself in a bigger mess.

Answer 6

you probably fell in love with a very complex person. It's not a good thing being that way, but it's just something that a guy can't help sometimes. I am a complicated guy myself, and man it screw alot of things up.

Just like your situation right now, fact is if he keep acting this way, he's gonna lose you eventually, and only then he'll realize that it was him losing you, not you losing him. No one waits forever for a person to grow up. At least thats what happened to me.

Maybe he's trying to hate you cause he's hurting. I can't tell for sure but it does happens, seen this many times.

I guess you better tells him what you wants, and its up to him to save this or lose it (if he's dumb like i am)

Answer 7

It's tough I'm going through a break up at the moment and getting huge issues with a girl I loved but you have to ask yourself, do you see yourself spending the rest of your life with this person Probably not! especially if he's treating you like this. IT'S hard but you have to stay busy, go to the gym, go out with friends and avoid contacting him.

I have to admit it probably was a mistake spending the night with him as it opens up feelings again, and for guys they think about spending the night and doing stuff BEFORE they think about the consequences.

Ask yourself why do you want to get with someone that treats you like this! You have to be happy in life and if you get with someone and it makes you unhappy it may develop that way if you get together and that's not a nice situation.

Guys (and girls) want what they've not got and now maybe he tried to get with you again (spend the night) and prove to himself you still wanted him as maybe he thought he could take you back when he wants.

It's not a nice feeling to be told you're "unsure" but if that's your gut feeling stick with it. You think it hurts now? What if you get together and spend even more time together and grow to like each other even more and then split up again?! It'll hurt even more!

I know its hard as I'm feeling it NOW, but stay busy. Take up a new hobby, clean your room/house, go shopping go to the gym, each day passes gets slightly better but try your hardest not to contact him as people that are wreck-less with your heart are not worth it.

Answer 8

I think he is very confused and cant decide what he wants. Maybe he needs some time to think about it and get his head straight. Men aren't as good at dealing with emotions as women are.
Just send him a nice text explaining how you feel about him, then leave him alone until he comes to you.

Answer 9

It probably went further than he expected it to go and now he cannot take it back. The reasons you broke up are still there for him and you need to get over him and move on.

Answer 10

I thnk dat ur guy is confused & maybe he's guilty 4 wat he did in past.
but he is not sure dat how he can protect is ego too.
dat guy is egoistic and doesn't want to be projected as a sensitive person.
Just tell him clearly dat wat does he want...............???????
put 2 choices clearly before him
either to leave or pick .
he can't be just hovering around and disturbing u.
just be calm and ask him directly watever he decides accept it and live wid it.
Obviously he's not d last person on this planet earth............there are many more good ppl out there.
just stay calm and do as I say.
All d Best
( hope he chooses u since u really love him )