How can I politley tell my neigbor "I don't like you don't knock on my door"?

Question

I have a guy next door neighbor that I can't freaking stand he is very rude and disrespectful he is always fighting with everybody in our apartment section and if he isn't fighting with them he is fighting his girlfriend...one time he even kicked her out and told her to take her ugly azz baby with her...(I am just repeating what he said) he has disrespected me and called me a ***** before...well him and my boyfriend are associates they have been knowing one another since before I moved in on occassion he comes over and knocks on our door asking for stuff or he will ask for my boyfriend....I don't want him coming to my door period!! cause he has a reputation for robbing people.. I told my boyfriend to politley tell him don't knock on our door if he needs something ask when he sees us outside...but my boyfriend is so damn timid he wont do it!! I am 7 months pregnant and I don't want a confrontation how can I handle this situation with as little drama as possible

I have filed a complaint before and the manager has been present during some of the altercations with him and the other neighbors but she still and well continues to rent to him even amidst people saying that he breaks into peoples apartments

No we don't stay in the ghetto
and moving is not a option cause all my money is going to college right now our neighborhood is not drug infested or gangland he is the only bad character in our neighborhood how he got there I don't know

Answer 1

It doesn't sound like this character will respond to anything polite. You need to speak to your boyfriend again and explain to him that being a boyfriend and a father entails certain responsibilities. Make sure that he understands that you feel that this man is a threat to your (and your child's) safety, and that you are not interested in attempts to convince you otherwise.

If he is unwilling to confront this man, make it clear to him:

1. You will not answer the door for this man. If he knocks when your boyfriend is not home, there will be no response.

2. If he knocks when your boyfriend is home and your boyfriend chooses to let him in, his visits are to be brief and you will be in another room the whole time.

3. Your boyfriend must immediately take whatever steps necessary (replacing flimsy doors, adding or replacing deadbolts, chains, and locks,checking all windows for working locks, adding a peephole to the door) to make certain that this man cannot get in without permission.

Make sure that your boyfriend clears this with your landlord or super. If he is timid, you may want to come along to make it clear to the landlord or super that you will not take no for an answer. Hint darkly at lawsuits to come if something were to happen.

It doesn't sound like you live in ideal conditions. If money is tight, encourage your boyfriend to do whatever necessary (going back to school, taking on additional hours, changing jobs, earning a promotion, etc.) to improve your financial situation so you can move to an environment more suitable for childrearing. If your boyfriend is not interested in improving your circumstances, you may want to seriously consider whether having him in your life (of course he should be in your child's life) might do more harm than good. If the baby was unplanned, be sure to visit Planned Parenthood to avoid premature additions to your little family.

Good luck, best wishes for a healthy baby and happy future =0)

PS Hope you weren't offended by my going out on a limb w/ some of the suggestions, just trying to be helpful

Answer 2

You can always file a complaint if you feel you are threatened. You can get a restraining order too. If this person is such a problem at the apartment complex then why hasn't the management been notified? Why haven't the tenants lodged complaint after complaint after complaint against him so that he will be evicted? It doesn't make sense for everyone there to let this man bully you all which is exactly what he's doing. If your boyfriend considers the individual a "friend" then HE should NOT be timid about telling him to respect you and not knock on the door. You don't need the added stress during your pregnancy. That place needs a hard rock like me!

Answer 3

I'd hate to say this girl but you need to move. When you have someone around of that character, it is inevitable that the person break into your apartment. No matter how cool you are to him, he will burn you. People like that only look out for themselves and don't have a conscious. He has disrespected you by calling you out of your name. By you continuing to speak to the guy lets him know that its not a big deal. He has a tendency to be violent so what i would say is this. Have absolutely nothing to do with the guy. Act as if he doesn't exist. If he tries to get your attention ignore him. When he knocks on your door DON'T ANSWER! Even though he knows your home. He will get the hint. In the meantime, get some pepper spray and a hand held alarm that sets off a siren when you flip the switch. Every women should have one.

Answer 4

I have a situation like this and it is hard to be polite, but the answer about avoiding answering the door by looking quietly thru the peep hole is a good one. I do it a lot and in this day and age I think it is necessary.But don't lie. Make an evasive answer that is truth, like I say " I had a previous commitment" when someone asks why I couldn't come. It might be I was going to take a nap or read a book but that is honestly a previous commitment. And also if needed on ebay they sell peep holes that record and video when activated if you need this. i am almost to that point.

Answer 5

I don't like to answer the door much at all. It is usually someone that I don't want to see or that I'm not prepared to see at that moment. This is what I do.

I tell all my close friends that I don't answer the door unless the person has called me and told me they are coming. That way, when the doorbell rings, if I'm not expecting anybody, I don't answer it because I know it is not a person I want to see. Couldn't you just tell all your friends to call you on their cell when they get to your door? Then you could answer the door and be certain the HE is not the one knocking.

It's kind of extreme, but after awhile he will probably give up and you can quit this little game.

Good luck. I hope you find your solution!

Answer 6

You open every time he knocks on the door?

That is crazy.

Get a peep hole fixed. Do not open and do nothing if he knocks. Just ignore.

Do you have a governing society of tenants? Why do not you all form one face problems like this rather than individually confronting him.

Do not urge your boy to go for a confrontation.

Put a big padlock on the door and move out for a week or two - you need peace -

Do not postpone.

Answer 7

Encourage your boyfriend to tell him.
Timidity is one thing - but being used as a doormat is something else entirely.

If you feel threatened by this man, tell your boyfriend. Especially with a baby on the way he should take his responsibility for the child serious.

If there is no option of shutting out that neighbor, you can consider moving - which is difficult, esp. when you are pregnant. But since this person is picking fights etc. it might ultimately be the best solution, also for the safety for your unborn child.

Best of luck - and congrats on baby-to-be.

Answer 8

Just don't answer the door when he knocks. If you don't have a whole in the door to see who it is, find an excuse every time (like "I can't open right now, I am in the bathroom", or sth.). He will get the hint. If he doesn't, just tell him that you are pregnant and sleep in weird hours and you would like him not to knock on the door because you may be asleep. When the baby comes, of course, you will ask him never to knock because of the baby's sleeping hours and yours, and you will not open the door on account of "breastfeeding" etc. He will get the idea.

Answer 9

Go to the door, ask who it is, and say no, you are busy right now, or no, boyfriend is not available. Do not answer any comments from him, repeat the I,m busy statement only once, and walk away from the door. Have boyfriend do the same. Do not open the door to him. He will figure it out you do not wish to talk to him, and there is no confrontation this way.

Answer 10

I would really tell him not to come over by the police period. Don't mess around with the guy. It's your life and the life of your baby that's in danger. An officer can handle the situation for you. Get a restraining order too. He sounds like he's a little unstable.