My niece is pregnant. Please read my story. What is your opinion or adivse?

Question

http://hmtus.multiply.com/journal/item/1/What_would_you_do_How_would_you_feel

Please post all answers here. For voting reasons.

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Thank you for your help in this matter.

Answer 1

Whats done is done. You cannot change the past. All you can do is be there for your niece and her unborn baby. Leave it God's hands. I think that your niece is still a child herself and will get over this. She will be rebellious. Later on, everyone will know that you did what you felt you had to do because you cared enough about her to want to do something. All you can do now is say a prayer for her and her unborn child. I will also say a prayer for her and her baby. -God Bless.

Answer 2

Alright, first thing, you are the uncle, thats all. You have no say in what the girl does, she had to be aware of the consequences of getting pregnant before she had sex, so now its up to her to make a decision. She needs to see her doctor to find out what her options are. She may be classified as a high risk pregnancy and have to see a special doctor, maybe have to stay in the hospital for the duration of her pregnancy. You may be thinking that having an abortion is the best option, and the doctor will let you know if that is the case, if the doctor doesnt think she will survive the pregnancy, which he probably will say she will be fine, then he will say the best thing to do is abort, but if she can survive it, think about adoption, a fourteen year old child should not be having sex, let alone having a child. After the whole ordeal, I would look into pressing charges on the so called boyfriend, why is he dating a fourteen year old girl when he is seventeen?? There is no excuse for that, he should have a restaining order placed against him for that!
Good luck with this whole situation, adn God bless!

Answer 3

i believe you love your niece but i also think that you may have taken too much on yourself. i think aunts and uncles and grandparents etc. are the spoilers and friends to children. your nieces mother should have been the one to decide what to do. you never mentioned your sister having a husband though? if she does, he needs to be the one in the front line. if your sister is parenting your niece alone, i understand better why you felt responsible but again beg to differ that you got "too" involved.

i am 15 and can sympathize with the situation because i cant imagine being in your nieces place. it would be surreal. but you need to give the guy a chance because he WILL be the father to your nieces child etc. etc.

if the guy hopped out of a bush and locked your niece up in a cell or something completely awful and "took advantage of her" any sane male relative would want to remove the guys balls!

but remember that your daughter liked this guy. and she still does from what youve told me.

take a breather and show your intentions to your family before you do anything else.

i know there was some proverb that reminded me of my response to you:

no matter how far you are down the wrong road, you can turn around.


and another...

the first law of holes: if you are in one, stop digging.





alright well i hope this all gets sorted out. i understand your desire to help and "fix" the problem but just be aware of how everyone will view your well-intended actions.

Answer 4

Yes! Watching an ancient "Twilight Zone" of a man going again to 1927 I felt comfortable seeing the Roaring '20's and listening to the tune and looking the comfortable humans, however cried taking into consideration how unhappy it was once 1929 will come and destroy the whole lot FUN from then.

Answer 5

I know it's VERY hard to see a loved one making TOTALLY wrong choices (especially when there are/or will be kids involved). Your niece is very much a kid herself. My husband tells me I become too emotionally involved in certain situations and I tell him it's hard for me to look away or just stay quiet in those kind of situations. But, I think he's right. You can't change anything or any part of this entire mess. You can offer help, but it's likely your help won't even be appreciated. You will be seen as someone who has over-stepped their boundaries and even referred to as someone who just wants to tell other people how to live their lives. Stay out of it. You've got enough problems of your own to go looking for more. But, I completely understand your concerns/worries. Hope this helps.

Answer 6

It wasn't your place to take it upon yourself to call the police. It was her parent's place, and you butted in where it was none of your business. You overreacted when you heard the term statutory rape, saw it in your mind as forcible rape, and decided that it was your job to put the guy in jail. He showed that he wanted to get a job to help support her, how is he supposed to do that if he is in jail? You said your sister talked to the 17 year old till she was blue in the face about the risk of her daughter becoming pregnant, but I don't see anything in there about her warning her daughter. She should have told her daughter that it was dangerous for her to get pregnant, and if she had any doubts as to whether her daughter would be sexually active, she should have taken it upon herself to put her daughter on birth control. I feel she failed to protect her daughter from a preventable condition when she didn't tell her how not to become pregnant and provide her the means of prevention.

Answer 7

My opinion is that you kind of overstepped your boundaries. I understand that you love your niece, but this is something that her parents need to deal with, and you need to support their decision, whether you agree with it or not.

Answer 8

I don't believe it was your place to interfere. No I would not have called the cops. That is her parents decision NOT yours.