How do I stop hating people who were rude to me?

Question

I am overly sensitive person and I remember when somebody was mean to me that I have difficult time not carrying resentment towards them.

Answer 1

I do the same thing and it is one of the things I absolutely hate about myself, I am 33 years old and sometimes sit and daydream about finding someone who was a jerk to me in the 6th grade and smashing him over the head with a frying pan...I guess as long as it's a reasonably occasional thing it's nothing to worry too much about...I mean pain hurts right, and it's only natural to have negative feelings toward those who hurt us...but then I wasn't always the nicest person and sometimes I think maybe there is someone else out there daydreaming about smashing a frying pan over my head and that thought amuses me back into a more balanced, healthy state of mind.

Answer 2

OK so have you ever had a friend who was very sick and hurting in the hospital? If you had, how did you treat them? If you have not, how would you treat them? Look at each of these poeple as you would a sick friend and treat them as you would a sick friend. Remember resentments are anger. Anger is a fear based emotion, so when you find your self getting a resentment or right out anger ask your self "What am I afraid of." and if you find that it is an honest fear like you are about to be attacked by a rabid dog then you can get angry and defend yourself. If it is an unfounded fear accept that emotion as it is only yours feel it and then say to yourself "I let go of this feeling" and mean it. This is called Cognative rehabilitative therapy. It does work on any emotions we need to let go of sadness, fear anger or any negative feelings. This is what is called also as forgiveness. if you let go of your resentment you have truly forgiven them. Sometimes you have to do this for many resentments that we have forgotten and only come back to us when we see or are reminded of a hurt that someone has caused us. I hope this helps.

Answer 3

Your issues is fairly common. I think it is good that you to want to change.
When you first feel hurt & resentment it is like you drinking posion & expecting the person who hurt you, to die. It just doesn't work. You being sensitive hurts yourself more than others.

Choose one of your resentments and work on them one at a time. Most likely the person you are upset with doesn't even remember what happened. You are way too focused in your own internal self. anyhow..chose one thing to begin with.
If you lay in bed and can't sleep because you are going over and over the details in your head. Keep some paper or notebook by your bedside and if you are thinking over something that will keep you awake. Just wirte it down and write down that you will think about this tomorrow

Change the negative tapes that run through your head.
Replace them with positive things

Answer 4

Read the book, The Four Agreements, it will really help you with this problem and it's a very easy read.

Actions others take are not injustices against you nearly as much as they are injustices against themselves. When you understand this you can get past many of the things others do, realizing that overall these actions hurt them more than they will ever hurt you.

Also, keep in mind, you have the option of walking away from that person, they have to live with themselves all day long, that is their punishment.

Anything they do or say to you is only about 1/2 of what they do or say to themselves, imagine trying to live with that.

Answer 5

Know this................people who are generally rude are usually the most miserable people. A truly happy person is never a rude person. Just forget about them. Believe me their suffering more than you could ever imagine. Unhappy people want everyone to be unhappy, too. Try to find solace in that. best of luck :)

Answer 6

Everybody did not like Jesus either.

Be forgiving. Be cautious.

Hate will do more harm to you than them. Save yourself and stop leasing the spaces in your heart and head for people who are rude to you.

Answer 7

Why do you worry about it? Do you think that life is always fair? Because that is what is bothering you....that you weren't treated fairly...and we all have had it happen to us.

If you need to apologize, do it and move on. If not...forget about it...it isn't worth hanging onto. Get on with the rest of your life and chalk it up to experience!

Answer 8

you dont have to like everyone, you can choose to let go resentment and still not like them.