My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years, and for the past 2 he's been having family problems and they're taking a tole on our relationship. He's stopped respecting me and my opinion isn't important to him. We're growing apart and theres nothing I can do to stop it. He knows he's being a jerk and he apologizes all the time. I want to be there for him but I feel like I cant handle being his personal punching bag when hes having a bad day. Should I leave him or just try a trial separation? Im so confused. HELP!
2007-08-26 18:32:46 · 14 answers · asked by Kate 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks for your concern, but i only meant punching bag as a figure of speech. He takes his emotions and bad moods out on me.
2007-08-26 18:38:35 · update #1
Thank you guys so much for your help, but now i have one more problem, Ive talked about leaving before, and he always brings up committing suicide if i leave because it will just be one more horrible thing happening to him again. I know that its not my problem but i cant help but feel like it will be my responsibility and on my conscience if he does. What can I do?
2007-08-26 18:50:38 · update #2
He's taking you for granted. He's a grown man and needs to take care of all the aspects of his life. If you are important to him he needs to respect you at all times especially now while you are trying to be there for him in his family crisis. Most people have to juggle different roles. He needs to figure out how to be there for his family and you at the same time. If he can't do that then yeah I would leave. What's gonna happen if you marry and have kids and that adds more people for him to use as " punching bags"? I would at least threaten to leave if he can't get his #&%$ together and be a man.
2007-08-26 18:44:12 · answer #1 · answered by ginger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is choices. There is only so much you can control as you have found out. All you can do sometimes is just control yourself and make good choices for yourself. If you are not being treated as you would like and there is no way to change his treatment of you, then you know the answer. He is not respecting you and you owe him nothing under the circumstances. If you are beginning to doubt the relationship, you know what to do.and your heart has given you the answer. Never settle for less, go for the good life. Time is limited, don't waste a minute of it. Gather some friends around yourself and get very busy. He'll either step up or stay behind. The loss will be his choice.
2007-08-27 01:45:31 · answer #2 · answered by towanda 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do whatever you want but make sure you have a good explanation before doing it!some people will get really annoying when they have pressure or problem.but i think he still love you coz he still apologize to you for being a jerk.there's a lot of guys i know wouldn't apologize even though they're wrong.just take some time off first, maybe don't see him for awhile.i'm sure 1 day he'll ask you why and then tell him what's bothering you...be patient and understanding because this is just the starting for a beautiful relationship.HUMAN are not perfect >>>
2007-08-27 02:01:14 · answer #3 · answered by Ash L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is abusing you emotionally or physically there is no need for a trial seperation cos he aint gonna change, you need to leave him, I completly understand if you say you love him and you have invested 3 years into this, but do you really want to invest another 4 years and get no where?, all your doing is setting yourself up for more heatache and unhappiness, He maybe having family problems but why should that be your problem and he has no right to dump them on you and make your like unbearable. Please leave if he is hitting you, if you need someone to talk to then email me on lily.heartness.com.au.
2007-08-27 01:43:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is having some family crisis right now and cant seem to think clear i think that you need to be there for him but dot let abruise you in the process. if necessary give him a little space for a while maybe than he will beable to think a little clearer. I always say do what makes you hapy
best of luck
2007-08-27 01:38:54 · answer #5 · answered by mmurray001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's stopped respecting me and my opinion isn't important to him. We're growing apart and theres nothing I can do to stop it.
That is YOUR sentence. I've no idea why you're asking us when you KNOW the answer. Good luck with your new life.
2007-08-27 01:38:52 · answer #6 · answered by Grace 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that maybe you need to tell him that you need some time to yourself. I know he is having a hard time, but that's not a good excuse to treat you that way. take some time for you and only you. You can still tell him that if he needs to talk to someone that you will be there, but you would appreciate it if he would not take it out on you. good luck
2007-08-27 01:39:21 · answer #7 · answered by carriec 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u already know the answer. bail out. u can only take but so much and when u have reached your limit u will leave. if u feel he has lost espect for u u know u deserve better and to be happy.
2007-08-27 01:41:43 · answer #8 · answered by shareecee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not confused and seems as though you have all the answers. Just Pray for him and move on, don't waist time because you'll be carrying all of his baggage for him.
Good Luck
2007-08-27 01:39:13 · answer #9 · answered by passion parties01 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
girl, i been in ur stage, is he punching u then let me tell u he wont change u r women and keep ur head high up. we women hearts are made of blood n veins too. not only them we have prob too but he dont need guys beating us. stand and walk for urself. this is not right dear.
2007-08-27 01:36:44 · answer #10 · answered by Minnalgal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋