my brothers wife?

Question

i don't like my brothers wife. I knew her in high school and she's liked my brother for a long time and i always said they should of dated in h.s well she was engaged to a diff guy when my brother asked her to marry him they didn't really date just got engaged cause they messed around in high school. so she said yes n dumped the other guy. Well me and my brother use to have a great brother sister relationship and talk all the time. Then he moved with her and our relationship went down the drain he married her dec.06 in a chapel with her mom and my other sis there cause my mom and i moved to oklahoma he didn't even want to tell me he got married. He doesn't talk to me anymore besides hi when i call him every couple of months. she's always gotta be around him and never lets him have space when we hung out before the got married. She ruined our brother sis relationship and tells my brother lies. Friends tell me she was jealous of our bro sis relationship.

How can i get it back?

i try being nice to her but we dont get along since h.s. A lie she told my brother was "that i told them to never date and i messed everything up and told her not to break up with the other guy she was engaged to before my brother" I was the one that basically talked my brother into telling her how he felt and i told her to make her own choice cause she asked me if she should leave the guy for my brother.

I try being nice when i do have to talk to her. But she messed everything up and lies.
She's even talks crap about people behind there back and is trying now to break up my other sis n his relationship up.

He doesn't even really talk to our mom anymore and he use to be the biggest momma's boy..

i've tried talking to him he always hands the phone to her...when they got married and i found out by over hearing and he didn't want to tell me i wrote him a long letter and sent it out and he didnt say anything about it

i've tell him all the time i miss how we use to talk and our bro sis relationship

they don't want kids and dont have any thank god

she's the only child thats y i think she's like she is cause she was spoiled and got her way all the time...but my brother grew up in a close family and we always had family get togethers and stuff

Answer 1

You said your brother used to be a big momma's boy. Well now he is pu$$y whipped. He cant think for himself. Apparently he isnt happy unless some woman has power over him. Youre going to just have to move on with your life and find other people to have a deep relationship with. Things change and you have to learn to accept this change. Keep loving him from afar but quit dwelling on this or it will make you crazy. Im sorry for your loss. I bet it feels like someone died to you.

Answer 2

I totally understand you because that happened to me also. Let me tell you one thing no matter what you try to do as long as she is with him it will be very hard for your brother to have that same relationship with you again. So I would advice you to talk to your brother and let him know exactly how you feel but whatever you do don't insult her or talk bad about her with your brother. That's the last thing you should do! If your brother cares enough he will end up having a better relationship with you. I hate my sis-in-law too but I have to be an hypocrite and pretend I like her in order to stay close to my brother. Sometimes hypocrisy is your best friend! Good luck.

Answer 3

The woman sounds like she might be an insecure control freak, and she probably sees you as a threat somehow.
I have a Daughter-in-law just like her, and I have never been able to be friends with her, no matter how hard I have tried.
I know you miss the closeness you had with your brother.
Things might work themselves out if your brother can get his backbone working again and stop letting her come between him and his family.
Or a miracle might happen. She might start to feel more secure as time goes on, and be more willing to share.
My DIL never has, after many years.

Answer 4

Give your brother the space he needs. You cannot force yourself onto him. Relationships do change as peoples responsibilities change. I was very close to my brother in my teens now I'm lucky if I get a phone call from him on my birthday. That's life sadly. But trying to force the relationship while you clearly hate his wife will just force a wedge further between you both. Give him space and time. Let him know you love him and are their for him but don't intrude on him. Let him make the contact. If he doesn't than you have to accept that its his choice.

Answer 5

she is very jealous of your relationship you had with her hubby. now that he has someone to talk to he doesnt need you anymore, thats what she is making him think. I think you should call your brother and stop all the drama with her. dont talk to her anymore, just keep in touch with your brother. I didnt get along with my brothers girlfriend and I stayed away from her and she tried to push me away from my brother but it didnt work. me and my family have a close relationship and nothing will change that. if you ignore her it will come out that she is the one who is the cause of the problms not you. this means you have ot ignore her completely, dont even talk about her to your mom or your brothers or sisters, or even friends. it might get back to her.trust me on this one. if your brother wants to eb with this girl then leave him alone. I think he will find out how bad she really is. if you say this girl is all bad then he will eventually see that and come back home. goodl uck!!!

Answer 6

I think you should just leave your bro alone. He is married and is going to start a family with his wife. Some where along the lines he will most likely miss you and come visit you but believe me he married this woman w/o telling you so i know he will take her side over you I am sorry but it is what it is!

Answer 7

Well, you've got to let your brother go and make his own choices. This is hard - but his wife is the number one woman now and you're relationship will never be the way it was before he got married. You need to find more productive ways to spend your time rather than thinking about this and trying to figure out how to get things back to the way they were. Unless you want to destroy the marriage - it's never going to be the same between you. This is totally normal. He left his family to start a new one and you just have to learn to deal with it. You know his wife is the number one woman now and you need to stop worrying about his and let him live his life. If you want to get things better - you're going to need to build a relationship with his wife - apart from him. You're going to have to start siding with her on things and treating her special - not like he's the chocolate on your hot fudge sundae but ignoring her or not being as nice - because she's the "enemy." Treat her like dog doo and you're not going to see your brother alot - that's life. If you don't like her - he's not going to be completely happy with you. Things won't ever be the same - but if you want things better - then it's time that you learn to like her.

Answer 8

He found himself a new "mama"... someone to control him and yank him around.
You know that at some point it will all fall apart. He will eventually figure out he has been "had"... he will probably have to catch her at doing something. She will get into him for child support and all that... he will have to move out. This is his learning experience... the oldest one in the world.
About all you can do is keep mum about it all and be there when he needs you the most.

Answer 9

Your brother has grown up and has a whole new set of responsibilities. You just need to find new ways to keep in touch like daily text messages, chat on IM every now and then, send goofy emails, send him snail mail letters or cards on occasion, etc. You might not like your sister in law but she is going to be there wether you like it or not. Try to be civil and dont cause problems between them because she will probably win .

Answer 10

darl it happens yr brother loves this women now she is his life so i know this upsets you but yr bro has now got a life that has only eyes for her, its sad that some guys do this, they leave all there friends and family alone and focus only on there wife then soon will come kids if they want or can have them, sorry to hear about yr relationship darl but hey poo happens