my parents were sort of arranged to marry each other. any ways long story short they got divorced he has a new family in my home country hes very rich and basically never calls. my mom and i are doing fine just as rich as him probably more and i pretend he doesnt exist. he has hurt me though because every time i go back to see my other family he comes to meet me at the airport buys me lots of expensive stuff tells me he loves me and if there was anything he could do to be with me more he could and gives me empty promises. i trick myself into thinking i can have a dad for once in my life but he always dissapoints me. my mom hates him for just abandoning me and never talks about except to insult. well tonight my mom is away on buisness and he called my cell. he left a voicemail and un til the end i realized that i was sobbing. i was so emotional. that one phone call in a year made me think he loved me even though he had a buisness tone. i need to get out of this and forget him. HELP???
2007-08-26 17:52:36 · 9 answers · asked by LittleBunny 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
but i feel like he doesnt deserve my time or my mothers. he was very controlling of her and wouldnt let her get a job or talk to her seperate friends than his. he would only let her cook and clean. and i have heard that he was dissapointed for the fact that im a girl and not a boy and with his new family he has a boy. i dont want to talk to him i dont want to feel anything when he calls just be able to delete it. but i still feel pain on fathers day and if he truly loved me he would call on bdays or christmas. he only acts like he cares with money and when its convenient for him. (im 13) i want to be able to forget about him because i am over crying for him.
2007-08-27 04:35:37 · update #1
Hang in there Kiddo. My kids are going through the same thing. they have not seen their mom in over a year, and she lives only one state away and has visitation once a month. I feel for them too, but what I try to do when they get sad about their mom is to focus on the positive.
You know your mom loves you and that will never change. Change your cell number and move on. Don't let him hurt you more. He had his chance to be real, and failed to do so. While it may hurt in the short term to cut him from your life, it will save you years of heartache if you do not. Good luck.
2007-09-03 17:40:45 · answer #1 · answered by Rav 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't mention your age.
Your mom and dad are not together because of that same emotional rift and game-playing. There is nothing you can do about it. You can't change him or her. Her hurt will probably be raw for a while, so all you can do is be there to comfort her and tell her you love her. Be the best support system for your mom that you can be.
You can use your time with him for your own advantage. You can take advantage of double-holidays and double-birthdays and double-presents. Is there anything in his line of business that allows you to learn a trade when you stay with your father? Look for some opportunities to learn new things. Maybe you can go shopping while you are over in that other country and bring home some small goodies you can sell to your friends at school.
You can use your free time to hang out with friends, especially if your mom knows them, and knows you will be safe while she is traveling.
Try to think of constructive ways to turn things around for yourself.
2007-08-26 18:19:15 · answer #2 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should tell your father how you feel. Where did you hear the story of him wanting a son rather than a daughter? If you didn't hear it from your father, ask him one day. See what he has to say about it. Don't take what you hear as fact unless you heard it from the horses mouth.
I would recommend that you tell your father that you miss him and that you long for him to spend more time with you. Let him know that quality time with him more often doesn't cost much. Let him know that you want your father's love rather than material things. -Give him a chance to correct himself before riding him off. Make sure you tell him that when he tells you something in the form of a promise that you expect him to honor it. "Tell him not to make empty promises." -Good luck and God Bless.
2007-09-01 10:25:08 · answer #3 · answered by †Evonne† 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congrats Ben!! How a techniques alongside is she? (: i replaced into going to declare Father and Son, dammit. BQ: Breathe interior the Air - pink Floyd BQ2: i'm gonna see if i will end this portray for him by using Sunday. My relatives isn't that massive on Father's Day, although. Edit: Haha, this is interesting. you will make a great dad, i'm confident :D
2016-10-17 02:09:55 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's other aspects you should be appreciative. You're bless to be born into money despite the fact that your dad has his own ways of showing his love. Many people who gets a nasty taste of being born into poverty, and not to have the parents who support their child or/and parents abuse their child.
Your mom relationship with your dad is widely different from yours. You can not base your feelings because of their fail marriage. I think you should appeal to your dad by writing him a lengthily letter. Express to him that you want him to be accepted into your life as a father, and you desire for him not to use business tone when speaking.
As his daughter you should at least express what's troubling in your heart. Once he approaches your concern decide than if you wish to continue the relationship. Always remember to put your tears into the hands of God...God bless.
2007-08-26 18:29:01 · answer #5 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people do not know how to show love other than with financial resources. you do not need to forget him, you need to forgive him. he will never live up to your expectations, so you need to lower them. lowering your expectations will help you to not feel so slighted. if you expect him to never call, then you will not be let down. yes, it will still hurt because you need a relationship. you need to learn from his mistakes and do your best not to marry someone just like him. send a father's day card that expresses what you feel you have learned from him. he has waited too long and is too late to try and fill the void that is in your life. just be careful not to allow yourself to get into a hurtful relationship with a guy to fill that void.
2007-09-02 19:37:54 · answer #6 · answered by christy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you give your Father a break ? He tries to make you welcome when you go to visit him. I imagine he can feel that you don't really like his new family and just doesn't know how to handle it. It probably would help if you would contact him at least once a month and tell him what is going on in your life and ask how things are going for him. You really need to extend yourself to him.
2007-08-31 04:43:48 · answer #7 · answered by jcf6865 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is to bad, i've always put my kids first. maybe you need to start calling your dad just to chat, say once every 2 weeks to start. get to know him, and get him interested in your life. he does'nt live in this country so he knows very little about you, or you him. how about other family members on his side? aunts uncles, grandparents. start calling every now and then, so you are apart of that life too. and your mom, is doing the best she can. make sure you stay close to her too.
she loves you very much too. it'll take some effort on your part, but, you might beable to make it work. good luck
2007-08-26 18:12:27 · answer #8 · answered by connieak76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes doing drugs
2007-08-26 18:24:40 · answer #9 · answered by Southern Cowgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋