How does one go about joining the Church of Global Warming?

Question

Are there any temples or places of worship that practice this religion in the U.S.?

Answer 1

he main requirement is having a unquenchable thirst for kool aid.

added bonuses are:

money

ability to preach the same sermon over and over...
and over

ability to spin and talk in circles

"fabrication" skills

egomaniac personality

lacking of a conscience

fanatical belief that what your doing is good.

promoting the death of the world's population is a good thing.

inability to exercise common sense or understand anything more than a bumper sticker slogan.

if you feel you qualify, you can join.

services are held frequently, in the form of marches/protests.
there is a gathering of disciples every year where the clergy gets together and compares notes. this is called "earth day".

the best way to locate services in your area though is to look for long lines where kool aid is being served.

Answer 2

an excellent team of people stay in an excellent co-operative house bock. each and every physique paints their house, to make it look extreme high quality, and then dumps paint and solvent-soaked rags down the garbage chute, so as that an super pile of solvent-soaked rags accumulates interior the basement. the fireplace inspector comes around and says "This enormous pile of solvent-soaked rags is risky, you should get a spontaneous fireplace. It should be bumped off." The governing commitee of the co-op gets bids from contractors to take the rags away. it is various of money! there's a gathering of all the tenants. They divide into 2 communities---one says that each and every physique ought to pay a value to get the rags taken away---the different says that there is not any possibility, the fireplace inspector is incorrect, and the entire subject must be handed over. the 2d team has various of arguments: If the rags are so risky, why do no longer clothing shops capture on fireplace? the fireplace inspector is an particularly undesirable guy who owns a trash-hauling agency, and is in basic terms in it for the money. no one has ever shown that a fireplace can initiate and not using a flame. All fires are organic and brought about by lightning. Spontaneous fires are "in basic terms an theory", and the scientific data is "vulnerable". think a fireplace began, how undesirable ought to it is? perchance a fireplace could in basic terms cut back heating expenses for the entire house block. there is not any thank you to tutor that a fireplace could unfold to the penthouse, so why ought to those rich tenants pay? The governing commitee is in basic terms using the pile of rags as an excuse to enslave the different tenants and get extra costs. a diverse house block interior the city had a fireplace, and it became no longer brought about by oily rags. some people interior the top flooring could stay to tell the story a fireplace, so why do something? the 1st team will become increasingly extra disgusted by those arguments, and starts to loose persistence. They insist that they understand the pile of rags is risky, and that they desire each and every physique to pay to have it bumped off. So the 1st team are the believers in a sparkling faith?

Answer 3

Actually, if you would like to go ahead and find a way to do that, it would be a real help to the cause.

If you could somehow convince the government that Global Warming is a religion, and we have enough followers (which we would) then we could become an official religion complete with tax exempt status.

Imagine all of the tax free progress we could make in the environmental movement if we would just admit to being "a religion"!

And yet for some reason...we still choose to stand up for science, and paying taxes...flying in the face of naysayers.

Go figure.

Edit: Oh and I forgot, Bush gave federal money to "faith based initiatives" so that churches could help more people. Well guess what, we'd be entitled to that too! If only we were a religion!

Answer 4

Joecool said:

"Actually, if you would like to go ahead and find a way to do that, it would be a real help to the cause.

If you could somehow convince the government that Global Warming is a religion, and we have enough followers (which we would) then we could become an official religion complete with tax exempt status."

First, non-profit entities such as government or institutionally funded research facilities already enjoy a limited tax exempt status.

And second, true scientific research does not have a "cause". Demonstrating a stake in the outcome almost always introduces prejudicial bias, and removes the scientific aspect from the research...


...at least it's nice to know that some people are man enough to admit it up front.

Answer 5

The Church has three sects.

One believes that the Sun is the primary heat source for our planet, and the Suns output varies, our climate changes with the change. There are many fine scientist who have written peer reviewed journals that explain their theory based on observations and previous events in history.

Another sect sees the Earth changing, the changes in plate tectonics, changes in the strength of the magnetic fields, changes in the Earths axis and see that these changes cause changes in the Earths climate. They have written many fine peer reviewed journals that explain their theory from observations and previous events in history.

The third sect is the most militant of all sects. They claim the Earth is warming, and that man is the cause of all of Earths problems. They write peer reviewed articles based on the old philosophy of altruism that puts man at the center of all problems. They also write papers to discredit the work of the other two sects, and claim to be the only and true sect. They label heretics as 'deniers'.

Answer 6

Of course.

Essentially every major scientific organization in the US.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scientific_opinion_on_climate_change

But you have to take three pledges before you enter.

You must swear that we actually went to the Moon, that evolution is a fact, and that the world is 4.5 billion years old, not 6000.

You know, really weird stuff.

Answer 7

Yes. Jello runs them all They meet behind closed doors, so that's all I can tell you.

Answer 8

Some day all your $ are going to be worthless and it will not help you . You will be using your $$$ for toilet paper. The temple of $ is about to crumble . Millions are losing there homes and no one knows what to do about it . Then what are "YOU" going to worship ?

Answer 9

Global warming has nothing to do with religion. It is about science and the environment.

Answer 10

You'd first have to create the church. Good luck getting anyone to join it, because global warming is a scientific issue, and science and religion don't mix.

Instead of trying to make lame jokes, try making a scientific argument to support your position. Otherwise you come off as rather unintelligent. When one is incapable of making a coherent argument, one resorts to childish insults.