Is it bad to give my kids money for chores?

Question

My 9 y/o girl gets a dollar for random things like checking the mail for me. Cleaning her room ect. My 22 month old son gets a handful of change for his piggy when he feeds the puppy, or "helps" me put away laundry. today I asked my daughter to go pay our lunch bill at the resturaunt and she said only if you pay me. I emmediately set her straight and told her you only get paid for the chores I tell you ahead of time you'll be paid for, but when I ask you do do me a favor, you should be polite and say ok Mommy, or if you are uncomfortable doing it, tell me so. Do you think giving kids an allowance for their chores is a bad Idea? We only just started doing this a week ago. So maybe her attitude will change? Or get worse? What are your thoughts?

Answer 1

in our home, there are certain jobs that we do simply because it is necessary to keep the house running- no one gets paid to do them. As soon as a child is old enough to help, they get chores commensurate with their age and ability. Things like emptying the dishwasher, clearing the table, sweeping the porch, taking care of the animals, taking out trash, putting their clothes away, etc. Now then, I don't give allowance, but I will give small amounts of money for doing chores above and beyond the "regular" ones.... and they actually save virtually every cent so they have souvenir money for our yearly vacations! This year they had about $140 each for our trip to England and were thrilled.

Answer 2

Part of being a family is pitching in. Household chores are everyone's responsibility, including the kids. The fifteen year old can get a job to earn money. That's what my teen did at the age of fourteen. Being accountable to a boss gives a sense of work ethic. The ten year old can do chores for others around the neighborhood. All the best. EDIT: Brienna, you'd be surprised what jobs are out there and at what age you can get a work permit. I'm in California, and in my state work permits can be issued starting at age twelve. My child was offered multiple jobs at age fourteen: in an upscale department store, a restaurant, and an ice cream parlor. But she decided to accept a job teaching martial arts, because that's her first love, and she's a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. Perhaps if you had a more positive attitude, made good contacts, built up your skill base, and really educated yourself about the labor market, you'd stand a better chance of getting employment. Just saying. ;)

Answer 3

Money for chores is very appropriate, but I think by chore is too much. I had a fixed allowance, and did not worry about doing more or less than other siblings. Parents should balance it.

Kids are getting accustomed to work, and having some spending money, but he parents still pay for the mortgage or rent, groceries, clothes, water, gas and electricity. Have them do their own laundry, clean their own bathroom, and they don't get paid for that.

But some things are barely chores. Checking the mail is inappropriate, unless its a 1/2 mile walk, 100 steps up or down, or something unusual.

Need to refresh the discussion, and ask if you should bill them every week to stay in their room, eat at home, shower, bathe and have lights in their room, and television rights.

They should be happy to have any allowance, and happy to help to show their appreciation for everything else they took for granted.

Answer 4

There is different thoughts on this. When you give them money for chores as you describe, you teach them that only work that pays an income is valuable. Women have been fighting against that for eons and you are just reinforcing it. A special extra chore would be a different story, but this is really just day-to-day stuff.

Also <> does that mean she can say no? I would guess not, so using that term is perhaps not the best.

I personally feel that an allowance should just be given when the child is say 7 years old appropriate to what sort of things that age group would get. At 9, perhaps the equivalent of a movie ticket. It shouldn't be dependent on chores, but should be taken away for severe bad behavior.

Answer 5

i started giving my kids $5 a week to do some basic chores like cleaning their room and picking up the living room and taking out the garbage. but after a while they started thinking the same way and they whined about it all the time they were working. so we decided that they just needed to do the stuff around the house most of it was their mess anyway. i do pay them if i have them do extra things like washing windows or my car or something but i think that they need to learn you have things that need to be done and you don't always get paid for it.

Answer 6

Dear, please don't do that. In future, she will expect payment for work and she won't settle for nothing. Stop now when its early. You have to tell them that doing chores around the house is helping mummy. They can live with that coz they love you and want to make you happy. If you pay for the work they do, they will expect that everytime you ask them to do something. Just think how hard that will be on you.
I have two adopted daughters and though the baby is just 2mths old, the elder (3.4mths) odl does things in the house without being told. She sweeps her room, files her toys inorder before mummy checks her room after work, she makes sure her dirty socks and panties are in the laundry basket, she wipes her small dressing table...... This is all without being told or without even paying her anything. All she says is; I want my mummy to be happy when she comes back home from work. She even pretends to help me do the laundry.
So, don't pay your children to do chores around the house. Let them grow up feeling responsible for small things and then they'll know how to take good care of their families and friends.

Answer 7

No way is it a bad thing. We did the same thing with our children. It's called teaching them responsibility. Mine knew that if they want extra money, they had to work for it. We had a chart with each of their names. For each chore they did, they got a certain amount of money. When special occasions came around they did more chores. If they didn't do them, no big deal, they just didn't get extra money. They griped at first because they were used to us helping them out. When they knew they wouldn't just be getting handouts anymore, they appreciated the value of money a lot more. Earning it now is just a sample of what they will be doing later in life. If you teach them responsibility now, they might not screw up later in life.
Oh, and cleaning their room and picking up their clothes was not a chore, it was their duty. The rest of the extra things were considered chores.

Answer 8

Think this over......

I say no, it is not a bad thing...
You are not using them to wait hand and foot for u...as slaves

but my ideas is...
any money they receive... is divided in to half...
at the end of the week or month..
u take them to the bank and deposit half of what is earned.... that way... by the time they are 18 or so.. they will have money for school or a car or whatever... perhaps a emergency..

and it will be a "lesson learned."... TOO SAVE
NOT SPEND EVERY DIME U EARN...
this will stay with them their whole lifetime....

the other half... they do whatever.... in reason... toys clothes, games... ice cream.. with reason...

hope u see my point here..

Answer 9

If you are going to give your kid money for chores you need to tell them it's only for certain things. Not random things like checking the mail. Then once you've set what the certain things are you have to teach them about money.

Answer 10

To poster Niks- "Dear, please don't do that. In future, she will expect payment for work and she won't settle for nothing."

Well, I certainly hope so. Expecting payment for work and settling for nothing...why wouldn't you want your child to strive for that in the future?

My kids know that they are responsible for cleaning their own room, doing their homework, picking up after themselves, etc...They don't get allowance for these things. They do get allowance for other household chores. They have a chore chart and they know exactly what chore is assigned to them for the week. Alonside the chore chart, they have a responsibility chart. It lists things like listening in school, being respectful, etc...If they aren't being responsible and doing the things on the responsibility chart, they still have to do the chore chart, but they don't get allowance.

I see nothing wrong with rewarding children for going above and beyond. Daily chores around the house like taking out trash, helping with dishes, those aren't things that are a child's responsibility, those are things that are going above and beyond their normal duties( those are my chores...lol)

Keep on paying those kiddies!