My children were hit by a car whilst in their buggy! They're OK but how would you react?

Question

The other day we were going on a trip with DD's nursery and close to the nursery I stopped for a moment to check something. It's a quiet side road and I stopped just inside a church car park next door to the nursery. There were no cars, and as I said it's a very quiet road, but I still felt safer parking the buggy there than on the narrow pavement, ironically.

Basically a car came into the car park when I had my back turned for a moment, and suddenly my kids were jolted by this car, not injured thank God, but someone had hit the buggy and knocked it (and obviously them) a foot or two...AND CARRIED ON DRIVING! Slowly it has to be said, I know it wasn't a dramatic hit and run, the driver had pulled into the car park to park there, but it was only when I was banging on her window shouting "You've just hit my children!" that she realised! She had no idea of what she had just done.

She was a rather senior lady let's say, and obviously felt terrible about it, and the kids were fine (more upset by my sudden outburst than anything!), and she was shaken when she knew what she had done, but how forgiving should I be? Or how angry?

A member of staff from the nursery came over, and went to get the parent support worker who has been a lifeline to me at times, knows us well. She put her arm around the woman and told her not to worry as no harm was done etc., and not to let this put her off driving. I think the first nursery nurse probably told her that the children were alright, but I was still surprised!

We had already exchanged numbers and the woman said she would appreciate if I could call her on our return from the day out, to reassure her that everyone was fine. I said I would try - I kind of felt obliged to be more polite than I wanted to be because of the nursery teacher being so nice to her!!!

But all sympathy seemed to be for her rather than us...she rammed into my kids pushchair - we were stationary in an empty car-park for God’s sake!

The family support worker, who as I said I know quite well, later suggested that if I liked she would phone this woman to reassure her that all was well, and to try to make sure this didn't knock her confidence as a driver...anyway I forgot to give her the number so she couldn't and I am glad, as I am not sure I want to encourage her to continue driving after hitting my children! They weren't hurt, but they could have been, or worse.
By the way she said she didn't see us, and as I said she didn't even notice that she had hit my kids.

Well, how sympathetic would you be? How angry would you be? What would your reaction be?

Am I right not to want to phone her and reassure her? To be too angry to?

I just want to add I don't wish the elderly driver any malice, but she was driving her car and failed to notice two children in a double buggy, with me beside them, in an otherwise empty car park, in broad daylight. And then she only realised she had hit them when I banged on the window. If she was a 30 year old or something I would have probably called the police straight away, but felt a bit under the influence of our parent support worker, possibly foolishly...I would hate to make a seemingly lovely old lady suffer, maybe have a heart attack or something! But I can't help but think she is no longer fit to drive...

I fell I should remind readers that I didn't promise to call her, just said I would try if I had the time, basically. But my anger that night (quite "calm" anger though if you know what I mean) made me decide not to - elderly and full of regret or not, she didn't notice the only things in the car park, three stationary human beings.

Dragonchilde I hold no grudge. I am trying to decide whether I should contact the police really. Not to press charges, just to make sure she is fit to drive. What, or who might she hit next, maybe at a higher speed? I set my children very good examples I like to think, by the way!

Keeprockin I didn't leave them in a car park. I was with them, with my hand on the buggy. I turned for a moment. It is a very quiet street, with very little traffic. But the pavement is narrow. It was not my fault. She hit my children because she didn't see the only objects (people) in the car park. It's a quiet church car park, not a busy city centre one for heaven's sake.

Patrick I think you are an idiot.

Rob B I think you are an idiot also. You shouldn't be driving yourself if you cannot even read my posting well enough to see how it actually happened.

Also rob b I am not at all angry with myself.

Answer 1

I think Patrick is an idiot too... didnt bother reading any other responses. You were fine right where you were, it's not like you abandoned your children somewhere, you were standing right next to them for crying out loud!

I'm personally with you for calling the police/RTA about this woman. Clearly she shouldnt be driving if as you say, failed to notice striking a pram in an otherwise empty parking lot. Why the nursery teacher was being only sympathetic to the woman and telling her this shouldnt put her off driving (???) is beyond me. If you were over-reacting a bit as I would have as well since your children very well could have been seriously injured in this, I could see trying to calm the old woman a bit so she wouldnt be too upset. But to say she should still feel confident driving, that no.

I would wait till you are nice and calm, then call her and tell her how you are feeling: Someone who can't see 3 people in an empty parking lot should give up the keys.

This is a sign, and thankfully one that did not injure or kill anyone, that this elderly woman needs to stop getting behind the wheel. You should do all you can to make sure her license is revoked, or have restrictions put on it. You'd be surprised and shocked to know the number of elderly people who havent had a driving test in YEARS who no longer can see/hear well at all that still get regularly behind the wheel. I know, all my grandparents did it until well past the age they should have. It was up to my dad to finally take the keys away from his father, but my grandmother still drives. I'll describe it in one word, Scary. And she isnt a slow driver either, she's more the kamikaze.

Answer 2

I can't blame you a bit for being upset with this event !
These are your children and there's nothing more precious on earth to you than them!
Why your friend at the daycare seemed to think you should be concerned with helping to keep the nice old lady behind the wheel of 2 ton weapon beats me?
I'm sure the O'I girl felt pretty bad ! No doubt.
And some others have mentioned the 2 year re-test for seniors, which is also mandatory here in my part of the world too, but you should have also called the police and reported the accident - because although it was very minor - thank God, it was as you stated sunny, clear, an open area and no valid reason for it to have happened !
If the O'l girl can't pass basic driving in conditions as you've described them then she no longer belongs behind the wheel !
It's as much for her safety as everyone elses.

My own father is 86 now, but 4 years ago he had a senior moment pulling into his favorite donut shop with a big Grand Marquis I bought him.
As he got there, he just got confused about what peddle was what?
By the time he remembered which one was the brake he had driven most of the way through the shop !
Two women sittin in the window seat had just got up to pay seconds before he arrived....fortunately.

So when thier time is up, it's just that time!
Nothing for you or I to get worked up about, just let the authorities do thier jobs, and as far as you getting upset at her ... well that was understandable and I'm sure you feel equally bad.
I think any parent in your shoes would have had the same intitial reaction... I sure would have!

Next time you take a walk that way, keep an eye open for granny :)

Answer 3

I understand how you feel. Once while my husband and two kids and I were walking we decided to stop at our local 7 eleven. While my husband had to use the restroom so we went next door to the laundymat and my husband went in to see if they had a restroom well my 3yr old son was riding his spiderman tricycle and followed my husband in the store while riding his bike. My husband didn't notice but I saw that he was going to run over a little girl cause he was just learnin to ride it. Well I was outside with my 2yr old daughter in the stroller and I had parked her right by the curb but it was also a parking spot. So thinking that someone would see her there and not park there I ran in to get my son before he hurt someone with the bike and as I was almost in the store only like 3 steps away from my daughter a man comes full speed into the parking spot where my daughter was and stops just in front of the stroller and gives me terrible look as if I had left her there for a long time. First of all he had no business driving like that in a parking lot. So I went back and took her with me but that man angered me so much. He didn't have to park there. He should have seen the stroller and parked somewhere else. So I understand that people can be careless and I think that you were right for feeling angry. Look what happened at the farmers marked a couple of years ago in santa monica CA, with the elderly man mowing over all those people. I don't have anything against elderly drivers but come on the lady hit your kids!! I wouldn't have called to tell her anything and the nursery teacher should have took into account your feelings before encouraging her to continue driving.

Answer 4

I would be upset as well. Obviously the elderly woman felt badly, and accidents do happen, but the fact that she didn't even NOTICE that she had hit your kids is very disturbing. I agree with the first person that posted that said to report it to the police so she can be issued a citation. That way its on record, and if it happens again she could lose her license - which is necessary unfortuneately if she is not as alert as she should be! And its not just that she's elderly, I would feel that way about anyone that is not an alert driver and a danger to my children.

If it was me, because I'm kind of a sucker, I probably would've called her, because accidents do happen and she probably feels horrible, and thank god your kids are ok. But I would've reported her also to the police to ensure she doesn't endanger others. I'm so glad your kids are ok!

Answer 5

I can understand on being angry and i am glad your babies are fine that woman is too old to drive if she is hitting things like the kids and not even know I would have called the cops after it had happen about calling her that i don't know and the family support worker need to have a talking to you need to explain that if your kids had not been in the buggy they could have died. They should worry about the kids instead of the lady.Cause the kids if old enough have the memory of that day to live with.

Answer 6

OK, first i must say i would of been very angry...... regardless if they were hurt or not she hit them!!! and didn't even realize she hit something that is ridiculous....... I would not call her to reassure her....... if anything someone should be catering to you and your children to reassure you that it was not intentional and how terrible she felt. I would be very upset with the nursery that was catering to this elderly women rather than making sure you and your kids are OK. And see this hits a nerve because i often seen elderly individuals do stuff similar to this and are still driving........ its horrible what if it wasn't just a scare? what if more was done than this elderly women could be facing a possible court date and sentence if something more severe would of happen. All of this because they are not required to re test once they hit a certain age. Good luck with everything!!! and i am so sorry to hear this happen to you and more sympathy was not given to you and your children i would of been raged........ Don't feel bad because of the way you feel....... i think its a normal reaction to this situation. Best wishes to you and your kids =)

Answer 7

i must admit i think you were very restraint id have been livid too, it may have ONLY been a knock but it could of been a whole lot worsei think maybe just chatting to the police off the record wood be fine indeed and get them to contact her with saying the kids are fine but if she had cared she wood have looked imagine if tht was a young toddler running out from the church nursery and not protected by a push chair-doesnt bare thinking about. dont get rail roaded by the support workers your their mummy, they should have been comforting you and the children, yeah speaking with the driver but it wasnt the driver tht was hit! just as long as the children are ok, then speak with the police see what they say, better to be safe than sorry. good luck

Answer 8

i wouldn't phone her, its not right to reassure someone that they are a good driver after they have hit some kids!

she should feel terrible because it could of been a lot worse. if she is getting too old and cant concentrate on not running kids over then she shouldn't be driving.

its not your job to be worrying about her, it should be the other way round! she should be on her knees to you now begging forgiveness.

i would be so angry if that was my child, i doubt very much that i would of been able to hold my temper.
i think that you should go to the police, that has to be at least driving without due care and attention - if she cant see a pushchair and parent stationary in a car park then she shouldn't be driving

Answer 9

I must be a nasty person because I would have called the cops and emergency services just because she did hit my kids!
I would be outraged and pissed off that the workers at that church was more worried about a senior continuing to drive then the fact that she just seriously endangered two little children's lifes!
If she couldn't pay attention while driving or worse can't see a buggy while driving then she has no business on the road. What if one of your children had been a newborn?? Or a person in a wheelchair?? My husband is in a wheelchair due to military service and has been hit 3 times already by people who "didn't see him". It's still a crime that she hit your babies and she needs to face that fact and possibly have her license revoked because of it!
I would not have bothered to call her to reassure her she should have been calling you and offering to take you to the ER to have your children examined and also pay for the bill!
I have to admit you handled that nicer then I ever would have!

Answer 10

I would be furious that my children had been hit and could have been hurt. Maybe this lady shouldn't be driving if she didn't even realise what she had done. I would also be really annoyed with the attitude of the nursery staff. They should have at least been as sympathetic to you as to the elderly lady. There isn't really anything to be gained by having a go at her and if anyone needs to contact her it should probably be the nursery staff.