How can I make a point to my husband without 'getting between' him & his family?

Question

After visiting inlaws recently, I felt there were a few things I wanted to say about how my husband's sister dealt with her kids, how his mother responded to me in a conversation. Some background: I'm a middle class Canadian, he is working class Irish, who has brought himself into the professions (respect!).
I find generally, & this applies to the sister, that Irish parents are very quick to put their kids down in public. They might mean well, 'tough-love' etc., but comments passed sound anything but loving.
Re. the mother in law, we were discussing groceries and food in general, & I mentioned that I tended to trust the labelling, if only because questioning every label would drive me crazy. She scrunched her face & said with incredulity "do you really believe that?", as if to say I was a fool. Again with the put-downs. Being a polite Canuck, I said nothing, if only becasue I was a guest & she was my elder.
But once home, I expressed this, & my husband is now avoiding conversation.

Answer 1

Could be when you told her you trusted the labelling, she felt put down. I usually trust it myself, but then I also know what the ingredients are as well. I know what's salt, sugar, etc in long fancy words. I'd just let this roll off. I figure you probably knew his family was like this before you got married, so welcome to the family:)

Answer 2

From first hand experience, family discussions will drive you CRAZY!!!! Just be honest with each other and let him know how you feel. Now of course you know that giving him your opinion of his family will AUTOMATICALLY open the door for him to do the same with yours. What you have to remember is that if and when he does give you his opinion of your family you have to be able to accept it and apply it how it is necessary. If you can dish it but can't take it, then it's best to just keep your dish to yourself.

Answer 3

he's avoiding conversation b/c you are talking about his family. this is how he was brought up.i can understand your frustration with them but, they are his sister's kids, let her deal with them and as far as his mom is concerned, tell her not to treat you like an idiot anymore. she has her beliefs and you have yours. there are alot of things you'll never see eye to eye on, this is just one of them. i try not to get my husband involved in some things. mostly b/c i can take care of it myself but also, i don't want him to have to be in the middle. it isn't fair to him and i would only do that if it were absolutely necessary.