Seeing the bride on the wedding day...?

Question

Ok!! Debate in my household...

We know its tradition for the groom not to view the bride on the day of the wedding... I've noticed on a lot of bridal shows on TV, that a LOT of people completely disreguard this tradition lately. I *the bride* think its bad luck for the groom to see the bride on the wedding day. He *the groom* thinks its a bunch of "horse poo".

How do you feel about the tradition, personally?

I completely agree with everyone about luck being in our hands, and i think most of my frustrations with the situation were the idea that i DID want that moment of anticipation. I wanted the suspence, and the reaction. Oh who am i kidding? I want the boy to cry!! ok, my point being. Yes, the future of our relationship is in our hands. But isnt it fun to make him sweat?!

Answer 1

I totally agree...that anticipation, looking down the aisle and seeing him at the altar seeing you in your dress for the first time...priceless. I think it would be really anti-climatic not to have that.

Answer 2

I guess I just don't believe in luck--good or bad. While I like some of the old wedding traditions, I don't believe that any of them determine the future happiness of our marriage--my fiance and I do.

I find this particular tradition to be a bit inconvenient. We both own our houses and will live in mine, so we're in the process of selling my fiance's. Assuming it sells before the wedding, we'll be living together by our wedding day. If we don't see each other on our wedding day, it means one of us has to move out for a day (silly). We also want to spend as much time as possible with our guests at our reception, so we plan to have the posed photos taken before the ceremony. I think the practicality of all that outweighs a superstition.

But, some people don't want to miss that "oh!" moment when the bride and groom first see each other at opposite ends of the wedding aisle. If that's important to you, or you do believe in luck, then go with it. Congratulations. Have a wonderful wedding and a happy marriage!

Answer 3

I had originally planned on seeing my fiance briefly before the ceremony, but have since changed my mind. I just think it takes away from the first moment your groom sees you walk down the aisle if you've already stood around taking pictures for 30 minutes. And as a guest, I love watching the couple knowing that I am witnessing such a special moment in the couple's lives. I think it's fine to see one another earlier in the day before getting all dressed up, maybe for breakfast or something to have one last "date" before becoming husband & wife. I don't believe in the "good/bad luck" apect of this tradition, I just think its such a special part of your wedding day that shouldn't be forgotten for convenience sake.
Either way though, the first time he sees you & you see him it will be special no matter what :)

Answer 4

I think it depends on the couple. If you both can come to a mutual decision on whether or not you should see each other your answer will be just fine. I personally seen my husband before the wedding, and we have been happily married for 1 year and 3 months. I think that the whole idea of seeing the bride before the wedding is superstition that no one should listen to. Marriage is a beautiful union between a man and a woman before God and one should focus on the keeping their marriage strong, happy, and full of love and faith. If you have a good marriage and believe with all your heart you two were meant for each other nothing will come between your marriage unless you allow it. No matter if you seen your groom before the wedding or not. Congratulations and I wish the best in the many years that lie ahead. Marriage is wonderful.

Answer 5

After thinking about it we decided it was much better for him to see me before the ceremony for a few reasons:

1. It gives us a private moment for him to calm my nerves and tell me I look pretty :)

2. This way the photographer can caputre BOTH our faces when we see each other for the first time. (He will have on a blindfold, know nothing about my dress or anything beforehand, and I will come up behind him so it's still a suprise of sorts and I know the pictures will be so cute)

3. We can take pictures before the ceremony when we are both fresh and my makeup isn't ruined in case I start balling.

4. We are saving over $1,000 because we don't have to do a cocktail hour since guests will not be stuck sucking their thumbs while we do the pictures with both of us in them. We can also choose to go to several locations to get great pics like a park, the beach......we can get a whole variety instead of bieng confined to just the church and maybe one other place

5. After speaking with many couples who are married many wish they had done it this way and several grooms have assured us that NOTHING can take away from that moment when I am actually walking down the asile.

Answer 6

I think every bride (or most brides) dream of that moment where her groom sees her for the first time when she's walking down the aisle.
I just attended a wedding where they took all the pics before hand and the bride just sort of walked into the room and the groom didn't really say much to her. how awful!
Regardless of what other people think, if these are your wishes he should respect him. You are the one who has been dreaming of this day all your life, not him :)

Answer 7

I like the idea of the moment the groom sees the bride coming down the isle being a "surprise" and extra special if he hasn't already seen the dress... I think it's sweet and adds to the emotion and feeling of the day. I dont' think this a "requirement" by any means. Everyone feels a little differently about it and therefore can do it how they please on their big day. I'm nto supersticious about such things, just like the idea.

Answer 8

From the photographer's point of view, it is a bad tradition! :-)

Really, it simplifies things to get the formals done before the ceremony, and allows the party to start right away. Here in the South, it is more usual for the B & G not to see each other before, especially if it is a young couple. I think it is rather silly, but whatever floats their boat is fine with me!

Answer 9

My groom and I took all our pictures before the ceremony. We got married outside and the reception took place at the same location inside the country club. We weren't interested in making everyone wait around for a couple hours. It was a beautiful, perfect day that ran absolutely smoothly. You make your own luck.

Answer 10

Amongst our family, we do see the groom before the ceremony. It's our cultural and religious tradition to gather at a parents' home before the ceremony to have a special blessing of the bride and groom before the ceremony.

Answer 11

We actually closed on our new house the day of our wedding and we still didn't see each other.
My husband and I lived together already when we got married. The night before the wedding, he went and slept at his sister's house and hung out with his brother-in-law and nephews.
I stayed at our apartment with my bridesmaids. The next morning we left the apt early to make our 8am hair appt. Then one of the girls drove with me to the Title company to sign papers. The Title company was kind enough to make two appts for us because they knew our circumstances. So I finished up and left just in time for my hubby to arrive (with my folks, who were co-signing). Then my friend and I met back up with the other bridesmaids to put some last minute touches on things at the reception site and get a late lunch. By then, my hubby had gotten back to the apt to shower and grab his stuff and head to the church. Us girls then went to the apt to get our stuff and head to the church as well.

This all required a lot of planning and playing phone tag so we didn't accidentally cross paths, but the day went quickly (much better than watching the clock) and I didn't even have time to get nervous.