My son's first crush. Help?

Question

My oldest son Daryll who is almost twelve years old has a crush on Rianna, a girl in his class. It his first crush. He told me about it because he is very comfortable speaking to me and my wife about it but also because we have a very open relationship. What can I do or how can I help him because Ive had the girl talk with him and everything but I don't know what to do? Should I encourage him or what?

Answer 1

HURRAAY!!! This is one of the most important times as parents. Arguably his ability to have a loving relationship later in life is one of the greatest factors in his success as an adult and teaching him how to treat people and be treated by them is one of the best things you can do for your future grandchildren. Keep the lines of communication open. Walking him through these first crushes and relationships can help ease his way into the real thing. Kudos for being there for him dad.

Answer 2

Well first off, I sincerely hope you have used false names, because if those names are real and one of his school 'friends' finds this online, he will never hear the end of it.

But at the end of the day, you can make suggestions if you want. Explain the good and the bad things that may happen. Or you can just butt out and let things take their course. In all honesty, there is little that you are going to be able to do. This isn't 'Love Actually,' this is real life. Either he does nothing, or does something. If he does something, he either gets somewhere or he doesn't. If he asks for advice, give it. If he doesn't, I'd probably just leave it alone.

Answer 3

I think that it is wonderful that you all can talk to your son about this. It is important that you give him encouraging advice but also let him know that in life he is going to be broken hearted many times. I would also encourage him to speak to the girl and see how he feels after that. I love when parents keep an open line of communication with their children, it really helps out when I am teaching them at school! :)

Answer 4

Dont encourage, don't discourage. This is his chance to find himself. Be there to listen, smile at his stories, comfort him if she flirts with another boy, laugh at the embaressing moments. Don't do anything that he wuold resent you for. I wouldnt get the girl to talk to him and stuff, she'll think it's odd he cant come up to her alone. Enjoy this innocence now...it'll be gone soon enough!

Answer 5

well i am 16 yrs old..and i had already had my first crush..

And all i can say is that the last thing i wanted was for my dad or anyone in my family to go try to " help me out " becuase i would be scared that he would mess it up.

Saying this i would advise for you to let your son try to work this out by himself and for you not to...just like go about helping him out. Sorry i dont think this made much sense lol

Answer 6

I would let him figure it out. He might get crushed but it will be a good life lesson.

Have him write about it in his journal. It will be fun to read in 10 years.

Answer 7

This is REALLY normal. Just listen, let him know that he should enjoy this first crush. Relax Dad. The fun is just beginning

Answer 8

Just be there for him. He's got to suceed or fall to grow. You can't change if she likes him or not. I personally would encourage them being friends, I think 12 is young.

Answer 9

stay out of it and listen. nothing else you can do. as much as we would like to make things work for our kids,(or save them from the hurt), we can't.they have to go through it be themselves. it's part of growing up.it's great that you have this kind of relationship with your kids. keep it up.

Answer 10

Let it run its course for him. dont get too involved but wait by the side lines helping him when he needs it and he will know you are there supporting him.