Ben was my boyfriend of 4 months and he cheated on me. i feel so hurt its not even funny but i want to be back together with him in a bad way, i miss the smile he put on my face and the way he made me laugh. the break up was BAD, i yelled at him and he didnt want to talk about it and he just drove away like i never ment anything to him at all. but i care so so much about him and i want to be with him so bad, and all i want to do is start over with him. but i dont even think i have a friendship with him anymore.i havent tried calling because im afraid he wont pick up. and he hasnt tried calling me.should i assume hes over it? or should i find a way to talk to him and try to be back together?? idk what to do. i really want to be with him i really really do.hes all i think about i wake up and cry knowing hes not in my life anymore.i shared so much with him, including my virginity.BUT thats not the reason y i want him back.idk i just cant stop thinking about him. i want him back.Help me!
2007-08-26 07:04:38 · 55 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dear,
I am very very sorry for what has happened.
I know how you feel.
I know it's hard, when you love someone so much....It's like your whole world revolved around him & with out him it's like your world is cold...As if nothing else matters...You can't focus straight....You don't feel good enough anymore....You don't feel like eating....You feel empty & miserable inside....You can litarally feel like your heart is slowly dieing..& you feel that you would be better off dead then to be with out him...I know......
Love, one of the strongest feelings on earth...
Now...
Close your eyes...& imagine yourself 5 years from now....
How will you look, how will you feel, will you be happy?
Imagine all of the heart ache your going to go through....Imagine you over coming it all...every dramatic moment....ever shed of tear, slowly drying up......Every day that feeling of heart ache soon heals....& you can live again.....
Ok, now open your eyes...
What do you see?
A man...who you love....cheating on you with another woman...Not calling you....not trying to get back with YOU knowing that what he did was wrong...You should not be the one fighting for him..You did nothing wrong. He messed things up, HE through it all away....HIS mistake...why should you suffer from his mistake, while he's living his life with out a care in the world for you......
The guys nothing but a boy, running away from the problems...instead of standing right in front of you begging you for your forgiviness....Doing anything he possibley can to get you back.....He hasn't...
Don't make excuses for him..
I know now, your minds a blur & it's hard to see reality...I was once like that....but you just gotta push yourself...you have to find it in you...that inner strength to just forget about this dog & find youself a man who will do anything he can to get you back & would never even think of cheating on you....Find yourself the man who will call you "the one" & truly mean it.....This "boy" seems like all he's looking for is a good time & would do or say anything just to get into your pants....Truth hurts I know....but I don't know about you...but I would always want to know the "TRUTH" instead of making up illusions in my mind lieing to myself....trying to make myself believe in a lie.......No...not me...I would rather live my life knowing the truth & nothing but it....
Look up at the sky every now & then....
Realize how HUGE this earth is..
& how many people are out there...
How many gorgeous,sweet, & faithful guys are out there...Just waiting for your love.
This one you love now,.....he's not even worth your tears nor your heart ache....He did YOU wrong...he's the fool, he's the sad one....You on the other hand seem like a very caring, inteligent, & sweet young woman...What man wouldn't want someone who has such deep feelings....Your a catch doll, no go jump into the sea of endless possiblities & never look back at this pathetic waste of sperm.....Lol...
& SMILE it'll make the heart ache better..
Don't worry be happy, this will soon pass just be HAPPY!
Open your mind & your soul..
& just live today...not yesterday..
& he my friend is SO yesterday news...
lol
Stay strong hun, & live him for good.
2007-08-26 07:36:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Your heart is hurting because you are remembering the GOOD times together. There is a very fine line between love and hate, pleasure and pain. The pain in your heart is very real and, internally, you are hoping that a reconciliation will ease this pain. you're setting yourself up for a second jolt! A 4-month boyfriend who cheats is just a short-term fling. Get over it. Stop sitting around and moaning over him. Go out with friends who are a lot of fun. Rent FUNNY MOVIES instead of weepy chick-flicks. He hasn't called you to beg for forgiveness so you've got the message. He's just not "into you" as much. He strayed. He's still looking. Grab your self-respect and move on. It is especially sad that you lost your virignity to this creep but it doesn't mean that you're "loose" or a tramp. Breathe deeply. Stand tall. And be more careful the next time you think you're in love! Passion can take over your brain very quickly and a broken heart HURTS!!! Be thankful you didn't get pregnant and you still have a bright future to find the right guy!
2007-08-26 07:13:14 · answer #2 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If within 4 months he cannot stay true to you , then why does he deserve a 2nd chance?? Do you think it won't happen again? Four months is not a very long relationship. He was the one at fault and if he wanted the relationship back, then he should contact you. Be strong and hold your head up high. He made the mistake, if he is willing to accept his own downfall, then he should call you. DO NOT seek him! He was your 1st love obviously, but that love was broken. You have to try to move on. You will never trust him 100% again and a 4 month relationship with this guy is not worth downgrading your self worth over him. Respect yourself, grieve the relationship and learn from the experience. Good Luck with you healing process.
2007-08-26 07:17:00 · answer #3 · answered by bayoubelle24 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you miss what you thought you had with him. it's not him that you miss. from what you've described, he's obviously not a great guy. anyone who endures a heartbreaking romance always wants to start over and have it all "fixed" . at the moment, youre suffering from a broken heart. those do heal & rarely result in death. it sounds as though you may have some self esteem issues too. try some counseling. he isnt going to call , if he does, then he's not calling for the right reasons. *trust me ;)
eat some cheesecake, watch some movies, hang with your friends, cry some more, buy some new clothes, move on....
its the circle of life honey. wish it didn't hurt so bad, but it does. on the bright side, guys like him make you really appreciate the good ones out there.
2007-08-26 07:13:01 · answer #4 · answered by lilmissinsanity 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've only read half of your question because irrespective of anything, including the way he made you feel, he cheated. I am not perfect and yes I have made mistakes; however once someone close to you, wrongs you - it is never the same. Sure, you want him back, the smiles he caused etc. but if he were to return.. you would always wonder whenever he left. It would be unfair to both of you. You would always want to know where he is going and you would always wonder while he was gone.
It is never easy; however the longer you try to make it work or get him back.. the longer it will hurt.
There are other fish in the sea...respect yourself enough to be ok being on your own. You will do fine.
It is always easier said than done; however it is worth the pain now.. rather than more later. PLUS - what if during one of his indiscretions.. he catches something and gives it to you.
Be strong.
I wish you well!
2007-08-26 07:12:51 · answer #5 · answered by 343 Remember 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ohhh sweetie, do not ask for forgiveness! Don't listen to that. What do you need his forgiveness for? Nothing, so don't even think about that. Personally sweetie I have been in my relationship for over 4 years. 4 months and he already cheated on you? That is a big sign right there that this guy doesn't care. If he hasn't tried to contact you then that means that he simply does not care about you. Sorry to say that honey, but its true. Is this your first relationship? Since I have been in a relationship for so long I can say 4 months is nothing and you need to just let him go. He is no good, if he was he would have talked to you about it, at least showed some emotion for what he did. Do you really want to spend your life with someone that didn't even feel bad for hurting you? No you don't, trust me sweetie this one was not meant to be and your better off without him. I don't know if this is helping you becuase I'm not trying to help you get him back, but instead helping you get away from him. Please sweetie let that cheating no good man go!
2007-08-26 07:16:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hun, don't take him back. All he is going to do is cheat on you again. Do you want to go through all that hurt again? I know you are hurting right now, but you will get over it and move on soon. You were only together for four months. It wasn't a long term relationship. Be thankful you didn't put many years into it just to find out he cheated on you numerous times.
It will take a little while to get over this Ben guy, but trust me.. don't go back to him. It's not worth your time. Why do you want to be with a guy who doesn't care about you at all? When someone cheats on another, it shows no care, love or respect.
Find someone better! There are plenty of guys out there that will respect you.
2007-08-26 07:09:49 · answer #7 · answered by Jessica S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't even need to read this whole detailed question. First of all- he cheated on you! Hello?? Once a cheater, most likely always a cheater. You got attached to him, but you know what - it doesn't seem like he did. He doesn't respect you. If he did then he wouldn't even have thought about cheating on you. You shouldn't get back together with him. You're still hurt, and it's going to take a while to move on and get over him. Those things take time. You understand that don't you? In the meantime he's still thinking about how he's just gonna go hook up with other girls, while sadly you're still hung up over the illusion of what a great guy he is. You need to just get him out of your life. You didn't even date that long, and he cheated. Sh!t happens. But don't you dare do that to yourself again. You will find more guys out there who will respect you and won't think twice about cheating. Even if he was sorry he did it. Everyone's sorry after they get caught.
2007-08-26 07:12:59 · answer #8 · answered by TegLover 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have learned one thing...Love sucks! It can be so wonderful but yet so terrible. The problem is finding a mutual love, that is the hard part, too many only have a one-sided love, and darlin your the one side. If he really cared about you he wouldn't have cheated on you in the first place. If he really wanted you he would have talked to you by now. Please do yourself a favor and find someone who can really love you and you love them for who you are. It will hurt for a long time, but you have to put it behind you as a learning experience, the guy is no good, deal with it and move on, there are others out there more worthy of you!
2007-08-26 07:12:54 · answer #9 · answered by fman440 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sure your old bf moved on/ Don't get back together or even do revenge because it's not worth it. He is going to be who he is. He is just going to find the best girl and when she's outdated then he'll move on to the next girl. He will get revenge all in good time. He will I am sure get a taste of his own medicine. Mother nature will take care of it. If he keeps doing his ways. He will eventually go the wrong way and hit a trap.
2007-08-26 07:09:27 · answer #10 · answered by Successor 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Girl a cheater is always a cheater and he cheated on you the first 4 months obviously he doesn't care about you. If he ya get back together you'll just be hurting yourself because he will do it again i tell you from experience of people i know.
2007-08-26 07:09:52 · answer #11 · answered by Jessica L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋