My fiance and I both have our own homes completely outfitted what kind of gifts should we do at our wedding?

Question

We have pots and pans, appliances, furniture, clothes, computers, electronics etc. Some one mentioned a money tree. Is that tacky?

Answer 1

My husband and I had the same issue -- he was 38 when we married and I was 33. We registered for things we wanted to upgrade, and he registered for tools he wanted, we also picked out DVD's, books, CD's, things to enhance our current collections.

The money tree thing depends on your circle of people. Some people here in my neck of the woods (Texas) have one and think nothing of it. I know of people from different geographical regions who are horrified by the practice. A good middle ground might be to have a "Good Wishes" tree, have a tree with clothespins on it like a money tree, but provide little pens and cards and envelopes where people can write notes to you with their good wishes, advice, etc and they can put some cash in if they are so inclined.

Good luck and congratulations on your upcoming nuptuals!!

Answer 2

Hi and congratulations! I have no idea where you live, but I have never heard of a money tree. Whatever it is....don't do it! It sounds negative and, yes, tacky. Also, don't make mention of any kind in the invitation either about gifts or money.

I am sure you can come up with some things that you would want. Register for those things. I am also sure that your guests are smart enough and may give you money anyway. But, again, don't make mention of it.

I do like what others have suggested...a gift to a charity. Now, if you are going in that direction, I'm sure it would be OK to mention that. I still wouldn't put it directly on the invitation, but enclose another card with that information. Search the web for ideas. Good luck!

Answer 3

I definitely think it's tacky, but that doesn't stop people from doing it. You may both have most of what you need, but have you done a real inventory of what you plan to get rid of and what you will use when you move in together? What about redecorating and what you will need to replace once you do that? Maybe you'd like to repaint the home you plan to share and therefore replace certain things with new things to match. I would register at a store or two with a good return poilcy so that you can return items you don't care to keep and use them towards things at a later date.

If you truly have what you need, why not be charitable? Choose a cause or two dear to your heart and ask people to make donations in your name. You will get some lovely cards with sentiments from charirites who are very grateful.

Also, people still generally do a money dance. Your DJ will string together 4 songs or so and your friends and family will pin money to you or stuff it into a purse that you're holding.

Answer 4

Money tree is very tacky. So is the so-called "dollar dance" or any other blatant ploy for cash.
Also, I personally think donations to charity are stupid. In theory, people bring gifts to a wedding because they are happy for the couple and want to make their new lives a little better. Giving to charity does not benefit the couple at all, and makes the reception feel like a fundraiser.
The above suggestions on upgrading what you have (like new pots, better linens, remodel the bathroom, etc) are good.
I would also suggest figuring out a hobby you both would like to enjoy, and registering for that. For example, if you want to go camping together, register for a tent, sleeping bags, portable stove, lantern, dishes, cooler, etc. If you want to build a home theater, register for tons of DVDs, a better player, a big TV, etc.
The key is to look for things that you will use in your new life together, and get stuff in a variety of price ranges. Also, having family pass along the theme will help you get cool stuff you didn't think about. (like an air mattress for your camping tent.)

Answer 5

My husband and I had the same dilemma, so we went through and took a hard look at everything we had and came up with a list of things that truly just needed to be replaced or that we wanted accessories for. We then registered for those items - we both hated the toasters we had, we wanted to re-do the bathroom and none of the towels or accessories were going to go with the new one; we love to cook and wanted some of the 'extras' for the mixer and food processor as well as some specialty pans. There are always things you could use, or like I said, replace.

I love the idea of asking for donations to a local charity, which you could carry over with a donation of your own instead of favors. I would pick a charity, where the guests would feel more comfortable knowing it would be used locally. Some don't like the idea of the donation going someplace else when it could be used better close to home.

Either way or both ways even - just be sure to make it well known exactly what you are asking for. Good Luck and Congratulations!

Answer 6

You are lucky enough to have all the material possessions you need, now you are getting married. Just spread the word that you don't need any gifts at all. The wedding is just to invite everyone to, to have a good time and watch you get married.

What was that you were saying, something about money trees? Don't you hate those, they are so tacky!

Answer 7

Asking for money is tacky.

I would have a traditional registry. Since you two are not living together, your registry will be for items you will us in setting up your home together.

It makes sense. In today's society, people are getting married later in life. Fewer and fewer women are coming straight from their parent's homes into marriages. Many women and men live on their own before marriage.

I would have the traditional registry and get new household items. As a new married couple, your needs will be different from two single people living alone. You will need to have matching dishes and enough glassware, silverware, etc for entertaining.

You will need new sheets for your bed and curtains for your new windows.

So, basically have a traditional registry. Upgrade on the things you have and will need for your new and merged household.

Answer 8

Yes, asking for money in any form - cash, gift cards, etc. is tacky and rude. Just accept graciously and gratefully any gifts which are given to you.
Otherwise, if you TRULY don't want gifts, you can specify that donations may be made to a charity.

Answer 9

That is extremely tacky!! If you both have everything you need, then you shoukd be celebrating your union and SHARING!! In your wedding invitation please enclose a card/letter saying "Susan and Jim have everything they need now that they have each other! Please don't bring a gift. If you hate to arrive empty-handed, bring a bag of needed things for the local Food Bank and the happy couple will drop everything of as a gift from their generous guests."
Lots of people also ask the caterer to deliver extra food to the local Mission as well! This is a much nicer way to mark your marriage than cold cash.

Answer 10

Just let your mom and the bridal party know that you don't need those types of gifts and that money is preferred... If you need//want anything register for it and let the same (bridal party & Parents) know. Don't make mention of any of this on the invites, guests should be asking those people if they don't already know anyway. And it's typical to give a gift receipt, so if you receive items you already own, just return them. No harm no foul.