Is 19 too young to think about marriage and pregnancy?

Question

I'm 19 and I have been living with the love of my life for 6 months, we want to get married in a few years and possibly start a family after that. The doctor says that if I don't conceive within a year or so, I probably won't be able to due to a medical condition. My boyfriend and I want a family of our own, but now we dont know what to do. Should we start ttc now and if we do succeed then say that it was meant to happen and if not well then we'll adopt in the future? Please help me..I'm so confused here! We will be able to support a child if we did conceive, and our families understand the situation 100%, so they wouldnt be mad at all!! Any responses are greatly appriciated!

I dont really want to adopt, yes my boyfriend and I have talked about having a baby, we're working (he's a police officer and I manange a Hollister store with a human resources degree...i worked hard during high school and got my degree just recently), we are financially stable, reliable, etc.

Answer 1

First, I would get a second opinion! I am unsure what condition you could be referring to, but I would think any condition that gives you a six month window to conceive would adversely affect your ability to carry a baby full term, not to mention childbirth complications. With something so important and serious as this, you would want a second opinion. A baby changes your whole life around totally. You are making long term choice here that may seem to make sense tight now, but are you certain you will feel the same way in two, five, ten years?
How certain are you that HE will feel ready to give up his lifestyle and be happy about it still in two, five, ten years? There is usually a tremendous difference between people's outlooks and maturity at age 19 and age 24. At 24, you look back on yourself at 19 and realize all that you did not know, but thought you did, and you do not want to look back with regret. A baby is an anchor, and that can be both positive and limiting. But you are legally of age to make your own choices. That is my answer based on the limited amount of information you gave. I hope it is helpful.

Answer 2

I was engaged at 17, got prego, lost our baby at 5mo. married an prego again at 18... In a happy marriage with a beautiful baby boy at 19.

There is a such thing as being too young to start having a family but you are past that point. If you are ready then do it. If not...

look at it this way, the doctor said ***probably*** won't conceive. Do you know how many times doctor are 100% wrong on what they say- alot. Trust me, I work with them and have had my own bat with a doctor had her findings, or lack there of.

Don't rush your life just yet, don't get married and prego now because of the doctors findings, only to find that in a few more years you come up pregnant with your second child. Miracles happy, the unexpected happens all the time. Do it because you want to and have no fear about the future.

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you have the right tools and use them at the right time, having unprotected sex over the course of time, you will come up pregnant.

If worst comes to worse, ya'll are both successful so when the time truly comes, and IF you don't conceive naturally. Medical technology has advanced so far... freeze your eggs now or try invetro, you might end up with an extra 2 or 3 children but it's definitly worth a shot.

Point is.... This is a decision between yourself and your BF.. noone here, not even your doctor has a choice in this matter. I can only help to show you your options.

Britany

Answer 3

I am 19 and thinking about pregnancy and marriage too, but my boyfriend and I want to be responsible, financially secure parents so we are waiting to have children until we have graduated, found jobs, and have been working for about 5 years. Your situation is different b/c it's kinda "now" or "never". Still, you could adopt a child, borrow an egg from a sister (if u have one), or find a surrogate mother later on in life when you would be more stable parents. My vote is to adopt later on in the future. The child will benefit more if raised when you are older. Until then, your boyfriend and you should be going to college and/or looking for jobs (if you don't already have). Start saving up for the future.

Also, sometimes the doctors are wrong. You still may be able to conceive in a few years from now. Good luck!

Answer 4

I don't think age is a huge issue, but have a child for the right reasons. . . because you love one another, you want to have a family together, because your both ready and willing to work towards a common goal for your child, etc. Don't have a child because your scared you won't be able to later. Don't rush into it b/c someone tells you if you don't do it now you never will. Saying you "probably" wont be able to is different that saying its impossible. I have friends who were told they could never have a child and after trying it happened. So don't let that be the reason. Do it because you want too, and you love each other. Sit down and talk about all the responsability that goes into having a baby, b/c it is alot of work. You will be tired and up every few hours during the night. Its a big commitment. But if the positives of having a baby outway the negatives for you, and your willing to work together, then I say go for it.

Answer 5

Go for it!!! Really take a look at what you are doing first. I am 20 and my boyfriend is turning 19 this september. We have been together for 5 years and have been living together for a few months. We love each other a lot and are thinking about having kids in the next few years. We want to have children young (hoping for a boy). His parents are not happy about it, my mother is thrilled! We are going to be getting married next fall. I think that we are ready for it. Honestly who is to judge your relationship but you. Just make sure that you would love you baby there are so many children that need to be loved out there. We are thinking about adopting a child down the road as well. Good luck to you. You both sound like a sweetheats!

Answer 6

first, i would get a second opinion on your medical condition, just to make sure everything is right, and if you did conceive there wouldnt be any complications. ive never heard of a doctor giving a timeframe to conceive like that... it never hurts to get a second opinion.

no, i dont think 19 is too young. i got engaged at 18, and married right after i turned 20, my husband and i are deciding when the right time to ttc is for us. i think its more about maturity and financial responsibility. please sit down w/ your bf and see if you will be able to live off of his income and w/ a baby if you have problems w/ your pregnancy and are not able to work. i can understand not wanting to adopt, and wanting a child of your own to hold and love. if you and your bf belive this is the right thing to do, than go for it! also, its amazing you have your family on your side, that is a big help. good luck, and god bless!

Answer 7

Well there are plenty of families out there that are started younger then yours and are just fine. Please consider that you have plenty of time for children. I would seek more medical advice on what condition you have. There are several treatments availiable for most people with fertility issues and having kids at 19 is very hard. My best friend got married young and had twins at 19. The hospital actually tried to force her to give up at least one of them since she was so young. And that was even though she was married! She now wishes she had waited a bit longer just becuase she is more patient now then at 19. I waited till 25 for my first child and I'll tell you it was hard even then. If you want a family now then go for it. Just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons and take the time to make those decisions!
Good luck!

Answer 8

I dont think 19 is to young, im 20 and gave birth to my son 7weeks ago i was 20 in may so i was 19 when i got pregnant and like you i had been living with my boyfriend for 6months. iv always been mature for my age and moved out of my parents when i was 16 and lived alone until i moved in with my boyfriend. My life is totally different from all my mates who all still live at home and are single but then it has been since i was 16 i guess. i stil see all my mates so i dont feel iv missed out. It depends on how u feel tho because everyones different some ppl would/will say 19 is to young, and for some it is but only you know if ur ready. lots of people at my work said i was making a mistake and would regret it but they couldnt of been more wrong. Good luck watever u decide xx

Answer 9

If you two have been together for a while and understand the responsibilities that come alone with a child and your family is supportive id say go for it. Just because you have a child especially with a supportive and helping family also doesn't mean you cant full fill your dreams with college etc. Just make sure you know that its a life changing choice...

Good Luck

Answer 10

If you have the support of your family, and can pay for most of the expenses yourselves, you could, but although you want your own children, would you and your fiance ever consider adopting when you are financially stable? Even if you did get pregnant now, when you are more stable and possibly wanted more kids you could give a child a better life.