How old is to old to spank you child do you think you should spank you child?

Question

I think you should be able to spank your shild not hit not beat just a spank. it teaches them a lesson but i think 11 is the age limit but i dont know im not a parent, i just want you thouts

Answer 1

If your going to generalize it, I'd say 2-12 give or take. Every child is different, requiring different strategies.

Answer 2

Spanking is unfortunately a word that covers a multitude of activities. Some people consider a light slap to be a spank. Whereas others think using a leather belt or wire hanger is still a spanking, when it is actually a beating.

So the problem is really how you define spanking, and where you draw the line at abuse.

I don't see any problem at all with giving a child between the age of two and six, a light swat with the hand to instantly stop and punish for a specific infraction.

But if your child is 10, 12 or 16 and you have graduated to hitting them with a implement for most wrong doing, what you have is a method of discipline that is absolutely not working and is completely ineffective. It is sending all the wrong messages, it will simply not work at all.

Beyond the age of 8 you should be teaching cause and effect. If you don't tidy your room, I will take away your play station for a week. That kind of thing. The kind of things that adults have to deal with. When you break the law, the government doesn't whip you, they fine you or put you in time out (jail). So you may as well begin teaching this to your children because this is how they will be expected to function in adult society.

Answer 3

Joe,
I think by about 6 or 7 years of age, spankings shouldn't be needed very often; restrictions, time-outs, etc. can be quite effective.
By 10 to 12 years of age, likely time-outs, chair-sitting, etc. would become rather ineffective [esp. if minutes equal age]. An occasional spanking, probably on the "boxers", will be quite an effective way of getting a messate through to the kid's brain.
Age limit of 11? Would be good, and for some probably quite satisfactory.
But in a home where there is good parent/child [dad/son] interaction and all, sometimes as teens we do need a clear reminder of who is boss and that we are not. If the teen is willing to accept (though reluctantly), the hairbrush on the bare backside {spankings, not hitting nor beating} can be a VERY CLEAR reminder. And even at 18 or 19, when off to college (parent paying the tuition, etc.), and being away from home, on their own, for the first time some kids may goof off too much. College break, a visit home, poor grades ... the guy might not be too old for the belt spanking his backside as and with a warning that either he straightens up at school or else all parental monies will dry up.
I sure don't want to be belted when I'm 19, but ...

Answer 4

It is most important that children are being disciplined on a regular basis, regardless of how that is accomplished. Threats are meaningless unless they're followed through. I also believe that discipline should be on a sliding scale.

First offense - Scold
Second offense - Time out
Third offense - Threaten to take something away (favorite toy for example) if they act up again and another time out.
Fourth offense - Take "it" away and third time out.
Fifth offense - 3 time outs equal a spanking.

I also don't believe that parents cannot reason with a young child. Parents make the rules, and children follow them, or they get disciplined. Plus I think it's good for parents to have incentives for when their kids are well-behaved: special dessert, new movie or game, coloring books, whatever the kids might like.

Okay that was a bunch of yackity smackity, and the original question asks when it is too old to spank your kids. I think if you need to spank, do it from when they can walk to around puberty. That's obviously different for each kid, but generally ranges from like 9-14. Granted, 14 seems old to spank, and most likely, you won't need to. I would just keep it available for situations when they're really bad. Like, severely disrespecting their mother (calling me a bad name) deserves a quick and firm reaction. Otherwise, grounding instead of timeouts are probably good.

Answer 5

Like I always say... when it doesn't hurt anymore, that is when it should stop. Every child is different.. there is no set in stone age to stop or start spanking. What works on one child may not with the other. All I have to say is, by the time I was 13 or 14, my parents would have had to gone past the point of spanking for it to effect me.. I have a high threshold for pain (they would have had to beat me to the point of abuse- which is obviously unacceptable). You just have to use your better judgment. Try other punishments if you have to question whether spanking is right for the child. I would try other things first anyway... spanking shouldn't be an everyday punishment. Spanking a child too much can desensitize them, not necessarily to violence, just to the punishment. Try taking away privileges or giving extra chores if it is a question.

Answer 6

Well I meen spanking a child isnt that bad. I got it a few times when i was a youngster. It does teach you a lesson which gives you a right to spank your child once in a while when they make a bad decision. And the age limit.... i saw about 11 also, because during or after that age we start to understand more clearly what to do and what to not do also around that age you can solve things with words.

Answer 7

It really depends upon the child. My 15 year old daughter still gets spanked while her older sister did not need a spanking after age 13.

I would imagine that it would be too abusive to spank hard enough to get a boys attention after age 11 or 12. Girls are different; they can be spanked into late teens if needed.

Answer 8

My children are now 8 and 12. I tried spanking when the oldest was under 3 and it never provided positive results. I felt horrible when I did it. I also hated the look on their faces whenever a hand was raised to them. So I stopped. What did work for us was consistency and being firm in other discipline options such as time outs and alone time. When the kids got older, taking away privileges was most effective. But overall, you must be consistent in your actions. Kids need to know their boundaries and expect it from you.

Answer 9

I agree completely with spanking. When my daughter persists to do something wrong after I have told her "no", then she gets a good old fashioned pop or two on the bottom. As far as how old is too old to spank a child? Well, the last time that I was spanked was 7 years ago when I was 16 years old. I told my dad to "shut up" and he pulled out his leather belt and whacked me a good one on the behind. I'm a pretty small gal though, don't think it'd work on a big teenager...lol.

Answer 10

13

Answer 11

i don't think you should spank a child at all. when they are under 8, they're not even old enough to understand why you're doing it, they will get hurt feelings (not to mention a sore butt), and not connect it to what they did wrong. over eight and you need to communicate, and not physically, to solve the problem. spanking is not the answer.